文|Xueluowuchen
In the current marriage, the divorce rate has been increasing, but fewer and fewer people can get married.
remember that when single girls reached their age, they would take the initiative to marry, but now they can drag it. Some parents of
cannot understand why young people today are unwilling to get married. Even if they get married, some young people choose to divorce after not being together for long.
think about it carefully, every couple is the same, there will be so many contradictions, and will encounter the same ordinary life.
Why some couples can live in peace, and some couples choose to separate.
Actually, when a husband and wife are together, conflicts are not terrible, but the terrible thing is that they are unwilling to be patient for each other.
Two people can be together not because of their deep feelings, but because of whether they are willing to endure each other.
The couple struggled with "endurance" at the end.
01
How many couples choose to be with each other because of love, but they can't stand each other before they choose to divorce.
The nature of marriage is never the same for a woman and a man. For a woman, marriage is to get married with the most suitable person.
If you don’t know people well, and finally get divorced, women will be greatly harmed and even accept social prejudices.
And a man's marriage is far less expensive than a woman's, so they can give up their marriage at any time, or even choose to be unfaithful.
Women do not want to continue this marriage, more because of men's practices, and men do not want to continue this marriage, but the reasons are strange.
once saw a man and talked about his marriage.
He divorced his wife because he was unfaithful in this marriage.
may be because his wife is better than him. Not only is he earning more money than him, but also always instructs him at home.
And men do not have a fixed income, he always thinks that his wife does not trust him, deliberately to test his bottom line.
For these reasons, he decided to prove his male dignity.
Many times, a woman feels unhappy, usually talking directly to the other party about divorce or separation.
If a man is unhappy in this marriage, he will choose to be unfaithful to make up for the lack of his marriage.
Compared with women, men are actually more sensible. They have long known that doing so will hurt each other and will not end well.
But they still choose to satisfy their selfishness, they are not willing to be responsible, they don't want to be responsible for their marriage, and they don't want to be responsible for their relationships.
How many men are like this, they don't have the slightest tolerance for marriage. As long as
is dissatisfied with the marriage, start doing things that have no bottom line.
But when two people live together, you will always find each other's shortcomings, and you will definitely not be able to bear it.
But you can communicate, put the words on the table, instead of acting as a good husband on the surface, but doing things that are sorry for the other side behind.
Marriage is always a matter for both parties, and it takes two people to endure, not one.
02
My friend Yige chatted with me and talked about her recent divorce. Before marrying
, her husband was tolerant of her in every way, no matter what mistakes he made, he never talked loudly to her, nor lost his temper.
Therefore, Yige always looked happy, and many people around her were very envious of her.
But they got divorced after less than two years of marriage.
believes that the other party can tolerate himself for a lifetime, but after marriage, everything has changed. Her husband thought that he was the one who paid the most and couldn't stand it anymore.
The two people had agreed before marriage, because Yige had never cooked, so her husband contracted the kitchen. Within a few months of
, her husband began to complain, saying that he was too tired to go to work and cook after get off work.
So, Yige learns to cook, but the other party is always dissatisfied, impatient at every turn, complaining that she messed up the kitchen, and said that her cooking is too bad.
Because her husband is unwilling to tolerate one's shortcomings, the two always quarrel.
Many people are talking about what they are enduring for each other, but they never know that the other party is also enduring their shortcomings.
No matter who he is, he is not a perfect person, and he will have some flaws. Before getting married,
deliberately weakened the shortcomings of the other party because of the love for each other, so that after marriage the love decreased, and all the shortcomings were revealed.
So the two tried to endure it, but after enduring it for a while, they reached a critical point and a dispute broke out.
But in a family, it is impossible for only one person to pay, and it is impossible for only one person to endure.
Therefore, everything needs to be changed in order to understand how the other person feels.
Otherwise, always thinking about yourself, and if you don't think about each other, there will be no way to resolve the conflict between the two.
03
Why are so many people unable to maintain marriage?
To be precise, because marriage is anti-human, it requires two people to be loyal to each other for life and take the initiative to take responsibility.
But people always love the new and dislike the old, and hate to take responsibility. Even less willing to change their thoughts and behavior habits for the other person.
But now most people need to experience marriage, so they can only suppress their own nature.
In order to keep the marriage, everyone will stay away from temptation, work hard to bear the burden of the family, and endure each other's shortcomings.
In "Women Have Something to Say," Xie Yilin once said frankly that the way her parents maintain their relationship is patience.
Once, the family gathered for a New Year's Eve dinner, and her father told her that he and Xie Yilin's mother had been together for decades and had been enduring it.
If you act according to your instinctive reaction, you can't bear to change it. Next, you can't bear to change it again, a vicious circle.
But by doing this, you may never meet the right person.
But if you try to be patient, let the other party find out what you paid, and they will return it to you in the same way.
How many couples quarrel, they will have the idea of divorce, and in the end they endured it for life. After the quarrel, the relationship between the two remains the same as before, without any change.
Actually, whether the marriage can end, don’t look at other things, just look at one place and see how much endurance you have with each other.
There is never absolute right or wrong in marriage. Don't ruin a good marriage because of quarrels and unwillingness to endure.
Only by knowing how to give in, can the number of quarrels between the two people be reduced and the marriage will become happy.
Actually, getting along between husbands and wives is a kind of learning, which requires us to constantly learn and practice, and then constantly to adapt, in order to achieve the most harmonious state between two people and feel the happiness of marriage.
About these, there is a book worth reading, the title is "Marriage Psychology".
This is a book to help you understand marriage. Starting from many details of marriage, it will show you the most true aspect of marriage. It will start from the management of marriage and the way of dealing with marriage problems, and help you fully master your marriage. . With this "helper"
, I believe you will be more comfortable in your marriage and embark on the road of happiness.
