Zhong Liti once said that her husband Zhang Lunshuo has changed. She cried and said that Zhang Lunshuo would hold her and comfort her when her stomach hurts every month; but after getting married, Zhang Lunshuo would say why her temper was like this? Let her pay more attention!
In marriage, what a woman fears most is not feeling the love of her partner. If her partner does not care about her, he will feel that he does not love himself anymore and will be disappointed in the relationship. Therefore, Zhang Lunshuo not only didn't care about her when she needed solace, but directly accused her, which made Zhong Liti feel very hurt.
But men are careless, they don’t care about many things, and their hearts are not so careful. For Zhang Lunshuo, for example, he felt his partner's temper has grown stronger, felt her emotional hurt, and expressed his expectations for his partner. From this perspective, he did nothing wrong.
Who is to blame for this matter? In fact, both people have their own reasons from their own perspectives. Therefore, many people always want to talk about right and wrong in their relationship, and eventually they will talk to themselves, and they will not be able to convince the other party. Instead, they quarrel with each other more and more frequently.
For this kind of problem, we should not think about who is wrong, but to see our true inner expectations and think about our goals.
For example, for Zhang Lunshuo, he wants his wife to be less temperamental. What he has to do is not to blame her, he needs to master speaking skills and express his needs tactfully. You need to talk about your feelings first, and then talk about your expectations of your partner.
For Zhong Liti, she feels Zhang Lunshuo's changes at the moment, and she also needs to make him aware that his language has caused harm to herself, and express to him how she feels after listening to him. You need to understand why your partner says this, and what his expectations are behind his language.
Couples encounter conflicts. If the wife does not express it, the inner emotions will build up, and the psychological grievance will always be there. Gradually, they will be dissatisfied with their partners, quarrel and attack each other, and the relationship will not survive.
Think clearly about our goals and actively solve problems. This is the correct way to deal with emotional problems.
When facing a serious emotional crisis, such as divorce or a partner falling in love with other people in marriage, these issues should also follow this line of thinking: first think about whether you want to get a divorce, whether you can get a divorce, if the result is to save the marriage, then You need to actively solve the problem, instead of always blaming your partner and attacking each other.
