Author丨Window sill
Whenever I talk about the topic of old age with young people, I always find a common problem: On the contrary, young people always have a look of death in them when talking about their plans for old age.
For example, they often say something like this: I think it will be good to live to 60 years old (this number is not absolutely fixed). Everyone in this world has to die, and I will definitely leave quietly by then without dragging anyone down.
and so on.
To be honest, every time I hear young people say this, I think they think things are too simple.
Why do they talk about old age and death so easily now? It's because generally, being young means being far away from these things. Because they are far away, they don't have any sense of crisis, so they can be so unscrupulous.
If life really reaches this stage, it may not be so cool.
People, that’s basically the case. When things don’t happen to you, everyone follows the same principles and is very rational. But when you really have to face something, you realize that you are just an ordinary person among all living beings, with the most common emotions.
In other words, if you imagine that you won’t be afraid of something that scares everyone, in fact, you will probably be afraid of it when you actually face it. You really don’t need to overestimate yourself.
我在生活中看到的现实往往是：一个人越是随着年纪的老去，反而越是怕死，真的甚少有人，能够特别坦然地面对死亡。
I once discussed this topic with a friend: Why do people become more afraid of death as they get older? My 82-year-old grandma gave me the answer.
When my grandma was young, she had a bad temper and often quarreled with my mother. At that time, she also said that when she got old, she would not need to rely on her children. She also said that when she got sick, she would not want her children to spend money to treat her. She would not spend money on her children, and she would not need my mother to take care of her.
But now that she is really old, my grandma still inevitably has all kinds of worries and worries when faced with the four words of birth, old age, illness and death. At the same time, she is very cautious, so cautious that the children are a little speechless.
For example, sometimes even though she is not sick, even the doctor says she is fine and it is a psychological problem, her grandma still insists on being hospitalized, saying that she feels relieved only if she stays in the hospital. If something happens, she can get treatment as soon as possible.
Of course, at this time, grandma was more eager for family affection than when she was young, and no longer said that she didn't need my mother to take care of her.
Because when my grandma was sick, most of the people who went to the hospital to deliver meals were my mom, so her attitude towards my mom also improved. Although my mom still resented my grandma’s sadness when she was young, she was never vague when things really happened, and she never stopped taking care of her, and she never stopped my dad’s filial piety, and we were kind to her.
The medicine at grandma’s house can really be described as a mountain. Grandma treats medicine like rice and eats it three meals a day.
As a junior, I definitely didn’t dare to say anything, but even my dad and my uncle were speechless. They thought that just getting medicine for a small cold would be fine. Even if you burped sometimes or had a full stomach, anyway, as long as you felt a little uncomfortable, grandma would have to go get some medicine and come back to take it. My grandma was not willing to take it.
My mother said that grandma cherishes life more than they do.
First of all, this fear is probably the fear of facing the unknown, and this fear has gained some real insights as the years have gradually shortened.
Especially in the past two years, two or three of my grandma’s friends have passed away. They were all good people at first, but suddenly they got older, because a small problem may develop into a big problem, and they will soon be gone.
A good friend of my grandma, they used to get together to talk. When I saw her last year, she was sitting downstairs warming herself by the fire with a bunch of old people. She looked very strong at the time, so I said hello.
As a result, this summer, when I saw me again, I was in the hospital. The old man didn’t recognize me at all, and he basically had no ability to take care of himself. He was lying in bed all the time. My son took leave and the old man’s wife was taking care of me in the hospital until the old man passed away some time ago.
The deaths of old friends around her made my grandma feel a lot more when she talked about it. She said that life is very fragile and she might be gone one day, so she would be more cautious than before when facing any slight disturbance.
Secondly, this is a natural reverence for life.
Under normal circumstances, human beings' instinct is definitely to survive, and the desire for life will gradually become stronger with age.
I remember reading on the Internet that a netizen who had worked as a volunteer in a nursing home said that I had always thought that when people grow old, they should be very calm and accepting of death. However, when I personally took care of some elderly people, I found that this was not the case. Those elderly people always kept the medicine in their pockets, for fear that if something happened, they would not take the medicine with them.
It is precisely because of this that this netizen believes that everyone should not underestimate their desire for life, and should not laugh at others' fear of death. This is the instinct of life.
When we are young, we cannot feel the surprise and meaning brought by the vigorous life. When we lose it, it is too late to feel regret.
Everyone is going to die, and no one can change this outcome. All we can decide and control is how to live. Especially when you are young, you should cherish the good years in your life, because the days that you once looked down upon are already the life that many people dream of.
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