Does the mother-in-law help take care of the baby?
The problem of
actually varies from person to person. Although is a different generation of , it seems that many elderly people in life like children, urging their children to get married, urging their children to have children, and then helping to take care of their children. On the one hand, it can also help relieve the pressure in children's lives, and on the other hand, it can also bring some busy things to their leisurely life, and enjoy it.
But not all elderly people think this way, because of different family backgrounds and different pursuits, and even the pressures they face in many cases are different, which leads to some elderly people not willing to help take care of their children. At this time, it is easy to lead to conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, because some daughter-in-law regards taking care of their children as a matter of right. When rejected, they will naturally become dissatisfied, and conflicts with their mother-in-law become a very common thing.
Some daughters-in-law even use the matter of retirement to confuse themselves with raising children, saying things that don’t give up the child, and the ultimate harms the family’s relationship and the gains are not worth the loss. When facing these things, they should solve them well, understand and understand each other, and do not just think about their own gains and losses, and not just think about their own life. Thinking from the perspective of others may be able to move forward better.
Want to ask the retired mother-in-law to take care of her second child, but the mother-in-law put forward five conditions. The daughter-in-law was angry: Just open her mouth? What happened to Aunt Lin in
57: Aunt Lin in the community is a retired doctor. She has been retired for two years now. She can often be seen in the community. Whether she is dancing square dance or on the mahjong table, she can be integrated into the circle. She is also particularly optimistic. Her personality belongs to the mature personality, which has won the favor of many people. At least it is quite popular among the retired elderly people.
But we are a person with a good temper who has some problems with his family affairs. The relationship between the family is not that good because of the daughter-in-law giving birth to a child.
Aunt Lin’s wife passed away early. Her son died less than two years after her marriage. After her death, Aunt Lin has always lived alone, mainly because she still has her own job and cannot leave. So she has always lived by herself. She only has one son, and her son settled in the provincial capital. Although the transportation is very convenient now and can be arrived in more than an hour, she rarely goes there. At that time, when her daughter-in-law gave birth, she was the time when she had children. She hurried over when she had time, all of them were to help take care of her children and take care of her daughter-in-law.
th those two years were the most tired time when Aunt Lin said:
"Basically every week has to go over. After get off work on Friday, I took the time to catch the bus and went over until early Monday morning. Although the time was too crowded, there was no way. There was only one son, and his daughter-in-law had a eldest grandson. I, the mother-in-law, must go and help."
Aunt Lin at that time, not only had to bear the pressure of work, but also life, physically and mentally exhausted. However, when it comes to the most dissatisfied thing at that time, was the conflict with his daughter-in-law, Aunt Lin said:
"In fact, it is a matter of course for the elderly to help their son take care of their children, but what they fear most is that their daughter-in-law is not satisfied. Even if I have less time to go there, there will still be conflicts. My daughter-in-law has a bad temper. In addition, after the confinement period, she became fat and had a very bad mentality. We often quarreled, and they thought that I was rough and did not take care of the children in her scientific way. They also thought that I had less time to go there. They worked hard to take care of the children alone. The most important thing was the children. Whether it was the children's food and clothing, or the children's use, they felt that I was dissatisfied with the arrangements. I couldn't make the decision at home, and I didn't want to quarrel when I was angry, so I could only bear the anger and help them."
In this way, Aunt Lin helped her to take care of her children intermittently for about four or five years before she ended her task of raising children. She returned home steadily and started to live in retirement. However, her life in recent years has made her older than one year old. The children are noisy and the energy they put in is unlimited. In addition, Aunt Lin still runs back and forth between the two places, so she looks even more tired. Aunt Lin, who returned home and started to retire, also felt uncomfortable for a long time. For a while, I felt that I had paid too much and was really tired. However, I thought that I could have a little easier life in the future and that I would live my life well for the rest of my life.
But the news of my daughter-in-law giving birth to a second child came again. It was the one I said when my daughter-in-law came home. My daughter-in-law said:
"Mom, I am going to have a second child now. Why don't you move to live? You are retired now and can retire after moving there. "
Aunt Lin was happy and happy about what her daughter-in-law said on the one hand, but on the other hand, she was dissatisfied with having children. She still hesitated and said:
"If you don't let your mother come over to help, your mother is a few years younger than me, and the elderly like children. She comes over to help you for a few months, and I'll go there again after that. "
But the daughter-in-law stammered and said:
"It's really inconvenient for my father to be alone at home. My mother still has to take care of him at home. You are just retired, so you can move here and take care of him at home. Isn't this good? "
Aunt Lin said:
"The main reason is that I am older and I can't make any moves. The child is making a fuss. If I were a few years younger, I really don't have the energy to take care of it now. "
The daughter-in-law said again:
"Then you can't ignore us. Now there are two children, and I will definitely not be able to take care of you alone. "
Aunt Lin finally thought about it and said:
"Five conditions, if you promise me, I will go over to help you,
The first condition: After I pass, you can't be angry with me, no matter what I do is good or bad, right or wrong, you can be dissatisfied, but you can't be angry with me, there is nothing to be angry with me, I'm going to help you, not what I owe you;
The second condition: I only help you take care of you for three days a week, and at other times, you can take care of yourself, or ask your mother to take care of you, in short, I will only help you take care of you for three days;
The third condition: I only help you take care of you for three days every week. Conditions, I only help you 1,000 yuan a month. Whether you spend it on your children or the living expenses of the family, I don’t care, but I only help you live for 1,000 yuan;
The fourth condition, at most three years, I will only help you take care of your children for three years, and in three years, I will be sixty years old. In this life, there are not many days that truly belong to you in my later years, so after I was sixty, I have to do something I want to do;
The fifth condition, when you have a better health, you will recover a little, let’s take care of them separately, or you will be busy during the day, I will be busy at night, or you will be busy during the night, I will be busy during the day, so that adults will not be tired, and children will be taken care of at all times. In short, separate, don’t work together, adults will not rest well, and I will be old and need rest time."
Aunt Lin's five conditions were finished and his daughter-in-law was very surprised and said:
"Just open your mouth and come? Have you considered our feelings after these conditions? They are all family members. As for the distinction so clearly? "
Aunt Lin said:
"It is not my business to help you take care of your children, and I have helped you take care of one. I have been taking care of one for five or six years. It is not easy for you to take care of your children. It is almost sixty years old and I have to take care of the children. Have you ever considered it for me? I won’t talk about the things that happened in those years. I took it for five or six years, and I quarreled with you for five or six years. In the end, I didn’t lose any good at all. It was not easy. Only by understanding each other’s life can we get better and better. "
The daughter-in-law said angrily:
"Then don't ask me to support me in the future! "
's words made both parties silent, and this matter was stalemate. Aunt Lin must not bow her head, let alone give in. When her son learned about this, she also had a fight with her daughter-in-law. The complaints in her daughter-in-law's heart still existed, but after all, she needed to think clearly. It was not a matter of being a mother-in-law to take care of her children.
At the end:
Is Aunt Lin’s request too much? Compared to people who share their own opinions, most people should know that the elderly help to take care of their children is not a matter of course. Children should be considerate of them. If they can voluntarily help their children take care of their children at an age, they should be grateful. If the elders cannot help take care of their children, they should not hold grudges or complain. This is what the younger generation should think of.
