What are the mentality of those men who say harsh words in a quarrel in marriage? How can I get him out of this bad habit?
Those men who like to make harsh words during quarrels generally have three mentalities.
The first type is inferiority complex. In order to protect himself, he will enter a state of self-defense. He will use harsh words to cover up his inner inferiority and use "vicious" protective colors to cover up his inner disconfidence.
The second type is because of the negative interaction pattern. Because he was often complained and criticized by his wife, the couple fell into a negative pattern of getting along.
In daily communication, the problem has not been solved, and the long-term accumulation has caused each other to complain. In this case, a small matter may become the fuse, and then it will explode instantly and the emotions will be out of control.
The third type is that he is going through a difficult period. If you find that he has only become like this in recent times and he was not like this before, then he must have been under tremendous pressure.
may be experiencing changes in work, or it may be that the family has suddenly suffered huge changes, or because of the arrival of the child, they are experiencing a role change. These pressures cannot be digested by themselves and have nowhere to tell them. When facing other things, they will lose patience and lose control of their emotions.
No matter what the situation is, it is not advisable to be dominated by emotions during quarrels in and say harsh words. If you want to change this state of a man, you only need to do the following two things.
1. Avoid escalation of conflicts
When he is dominated by emotions and his temper is often irrational. If you want to tell him the truth, he will become unreasonable, which will escalate the contradictions.
At this time, you can choose to leave or remain silent, and coldly deal with for a period of time, and then talk about this issue after both parties are calm.
When he calms down, he will reflect on himself, "Did you say the ruthless words just now? She treats me very well."
Generally, in this case, he will take the initiative to apologize, coax you, and demand a reconciliation. You have the initiative at this time and can take the opportunity to make some requests.
For example, if you quarrel and say harsh words in the future, you will be fined and don’t lose your temper at the other party. Such a quarrel can make each other’s relationship better and better.
When you quarrel, don't say one word to me. I reply to you two words, as if whoever says more will have the upper hand. As the saying goes, "Evil words hurt people in June cold" , Not all harsh words can be remedied. A word you say inadvertently may make each other miss each other. Sometimes losing it will last for a lifetime and cannot be saved.
2. Use softness to overcome hardness and cleverly resolve
all say "raise your hand and don't hit people with smiley faces" . If your husband likes to say harsh words every time he quarrels, and you also fight back with harsh words, "strike violence with violence" will only end up hurting both sides.
If he is left alone, of course it is not advisable and will only encourage his arrogance. At this time, we can choose "using softness to overcome hardness" .
For example, he says, "You are always like this, I can't stand it, let's get divorced." You can say this, "Oh, husband, it's just a small thing, there's no need. I know that maybe I did something wrong. Even if you don't say such words, I will change it."
Men usually feel soft-hearted after hearing such words, and they will regret the ruthless words they say, and may coax you in the opposite direction.
It hurts others and yourself, and , , but we can use some interesting ways to cleverly resolve it. This is the reason for waking up grudges with a smile.
For example, after he said harsh words, "Even if your voice becomes bigger and bigger, my love for you will not decrease. So I hope we will not be dominated by emotions and regret it after saying hurtful words. I hope our next quarrel is to solve our problems and will not affect our relationship."
Use this to tell him that although you love him very much, saying harsh words can hurt your relationship.
Every relationship is hard-won. Since you have it, cherish it and don't let quarrels destroy your relationship.
