Question: Yuchen, I have been with my boyfriend for more than half a year. At first, I was very enthusiastic, but later I became more and more cold, and I was ignoring it. What should I do?
Yuchen: OK boyfriend is very cold to you, don’t know what to do?
First of all, you need to understand one thing, that is, there is no eternal love in this world. The appropriate distance between people is different. It does not mean that as long as two people like them enough, they can always stick together without getting tired of it.
Maybe in the first three months, you can’t talk enough, but after a while, you will hope that you have a few days of freedom. So many times, the other party becomes cold, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship has reached its end, but that your emotional state has changed. Of course, it is not ruled out that some people just lose interest in you and want to force you to break up through cold violence.
Question: How can I tell ? How do I know if he is not interested in me or if his emotional state has changed?
Yuchen: If you want to distinguish, the best way is to see how much the person’s feelings for you are.
For example, if the other party's emotional investment in you has changed from 100 points to 0 points, and the chat with you is always "Oh, haha, go take a shower", and ignores the help you need, and often disappears for no reason, then he is forcing you to break up with a cold violence method.
But if the other party has changed from 90% of his original emotional investment to 60% or 50% of his current emotional investment, and then devotes most of his energy to his work and social interaction, then this is a normal reaction, and his emotional needs have changed.
Because it is impossible for people to remain in love with you all the time, most people are looking for a partner who can share their comfort zone with themselves. Therefore, when your relationship enters a stable stage, the other party's energy distribution will gradually return to the previous state of life.
Then what should we do when facing the coldness of a man? The most correct way is to communicate with each other, with high frequency and high speed. You can share your life from time to time, but you can't be too entangled. A few words are enough, and then live your life well during this period.
is what I often tell you, if you are united, you will be unparalleled in the world, and if you are divided, you will be kings. When the two are together, enjoy the sweet state of the moment. If they are not together, they will be completely separated and focus on their work and life with 100% of their energy.
Doing this will allow the other party to work hard on his career without any worries and feel at ease and stability. On the other hand, it can also enhance your self-worth and make him even more inseparable from you. Because if you want to gain a long-term intimate relationship, in addition to knowing how to operate, the more important thing is to attract.
When you can always use 80% of your energy to pay attention to your own growth, becoming more and more beautiful and charming, which man will not be attracted to you?
Many times, after a long time in love, the other person becomes cold to you. In fact, it is because your value is rapidly declining. You only know how to ask for it from the other person, but don’t know how to polish yourself. You need the other person to take care of you and tolerate your emotions at all times, which makes people feel very stressed when getting along with each other. How can he not be cold to you?
so do you understand? A boy is not necessarily frivolous about you. It may be because there is something wrong with your relationship, or it may be because his emotional needs have changed. These require you to judge through a period of running-in.
What is running-in? Run-in is to judge whether everyone is really suitable.Of course, some people have no interest in your life and think that their partner should be called and lingered. Then there is nothing to be angry about. Just get together and part. Do you understand?
Psychological test: Test the words your ex wants to say to you most
1. Do you quarrel over trivial matters when you are together?
Yes, I often feel very tired —2
rarely argues over trivial matters —2
Occasionally, but I can make up soon —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to reflect on yourself and is willing to correct your mistakes?
is —3
is not —4
3. Will TA take the initiative to tell you about your troubles?
often says - 5
doesn't say much - 4
4. Will you tell your parents about the process of your love?
, and often complain to my parents. —6
, occasionally, they will say it when they ask —5
, hardly say it, there is nothing to say —5
, there is nothing to say —5
5. How much energy are you willing to spend to get what you want?
Everything goes with the flow, it’s mine after all, it’s mine —7
Work hard, maybe you can succeed —6
Try your best, I have to get everything I want —B
6. Is it because a third party appeared?
Yes—A
No—7
7. Has the other party taken the initiative to contact you after breaking up?
Yes—D
No—Ch
