In the book " Walden ", Thoreau wrote this passage:
"If I really talk to the cloud, don't be surprised. The city is a place where millions of people live together alone."
Born as a human being, you will feel lonely at a certain fork in your life, at a certain age.
childhood loneliness:
There are no partners, no friends, and no one shares toys around.
Loneliness in adolescence:
No one listens to the little secret in his heart, so he fell in love with writing a diary.
Loneliness after adulthood:
The anxiety brought by growth, the fear of unknown confusion and uncertainty, and the panic about to leave their parents, all make people feel lonely.
Loneliness in the age of thirty:
Single, not successful in career, and the distance between the people around you is getting farther and farther away.
Loneliness in the age of forty:
A successful career, fewer and fewer friends; the relationship between husband and wife has faded, and no one understands the suppressed emotions in the heart.
In fact, among all loneliness, middle-aged people after the age of 40 are the loneliest.
This kind of loneliness has nothing to do with how many friends they are, because the more friends they are, the more lonely they are. If you are
40 years old, if you are doing better and better, you should understand these principles.
-01
Stay away from "old friends, old classmates"
Why do you say that the better you do, the more you should stay away from these old friends?
share a story with you.
A male reader left me a message and told his story.
He went out to work before he finished high school and went to a big city in the south to work alone. When he left, his parents only gave him 1,000 yuan in travel expenses, which was borrowed by his parents and neighbors.
At that time, people around him looked down on his family and always pointed at him behind his back.
He left for more than ten years and has never returned home once. His parents would visit him 1-2 times a year.
all say "returning home in glory", and he also thinks so.
It was not until he developed, made a good fortune, and his business became bigger and bigger that he took his wife and children back to his hometown.
When he drove back to his hometown in a luxury car, he found that everything had changed.
Those who once looked down on him and were indifferent to him became extremely enthusiastic.
Those friends who played well with him as children were cold and distant to him, and they were talking about him behind their backs.
"What luck has he left? Just like him, he can do so well?"
Since that time, he took his parents away and gave some help to his brothers and sisters, and never came back.
Why do you say that the better you do, the more you should stay away from old friends?
There are two reasons.
First: Familiar people often don’t stand you well
Do you believe it?
When you are doing well, the person who is jealous of you is not a stranger or a colleague, but a relative and friend around you.
In their eyes, your success seems to highlight their failures.
There is a saying:
"Compared with the failure of friends, the success of friends is more sad."
hopes you live a good life, but don't want you to live a better life than them.
This is human nature.
Because my old friends around me know you more and are more familiar with you.
In their subconscious mind, they think: "Where are you better than me? Where are you better than me? Where are you better than me? Why are you better than me and richer than me?"
This is how human nature is. The more familiar you are, the more likely you are to grow jealousy in your heart.
Second: If you are doing well, they will cause pressure
For example:
When you are not as good as them, every time you go to them, they will be very polite and welcome you.
They will comfort you, encourage you, stand on a high place and look down at you, and be used to telling you the best.
And when you surpass them and make better than them, their attitude towards you will change.
Although you do not show off any show-off, pride and comparison, in their eyes, it is also unbearable.
How do you say it?
"Don't eat when others are hungry, don't run around in front of lame people."
You are unintentional, but in the eyes of the other party, the nature is different.
"When a person is jealous of you and doesn't like you, no matter what you do, they think you are wrong."
-02
Middle-aged people are doing well and should meet young people
There are often hot searches on the Internet: "Poor 2000s rectify the workplace."
"The post-00s teaches the boss a lesson"
"The post-00s don't like being bound, don't like being oppressed, and prefer to reason, and come with your own heart."
They don't care whether you live well or not, don't care whether you are doing well or not, don't care whether you have money or who you are.
For young people, they follow the "original heart" in doing things.
Like it, it is like it, and it will not force it if you don’t like it;
worships a person and expresses, praises, and follows;
is dissatisfied with a person and points out that he does not care about the other person’s identity and status.
So, middle-aged people who are doing well should have more contact with young people.
Young people are energetic and energetic, which will bring more fun to the ordinary and lonely life of middle-aged people.
Young people often don’t like to stick to the flames and do not flatter, but express their thoughts directly.
Get along with them, you can detect your own shortcomings and then absorb the suggestions and thinking of young people.
Only by constantly learning can you be able to face more pressure;
Only by being young can you have more motivation;
Only by staying away from complex social and human nature can you live a happy life.
And only young people can give you these.
Some middle-aged people have already gained wealth and time, but only with less "youth" and less "happiness", they should jump out of the current circle.
Today's topic:
Will people around you be jealous of you when you are doing well?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
