Text/Hanmeiyi
01
My friend Susu told me something:
Her mother-in-law was not in good condition, and her family specially called her husband back and asked her husband to drive her mother-in-law from her hometown to a large hospital in the provincial capital. At present, her mother-in-law has been hospitalized for three days.
Since her husband received a call from her in-laws, until now, her husband is alone in the hospital to take care of her mother-in-law. In the past few days, she has only called her husband and asked her if she is used to eating in the hospital and whether she needs to deliver food. As for her mother-in-law’s situation, she has never asked a single question.
Why is she like this?
When she first married her husband, her mother-in-law looked down on her from a single-parent family (when she was in the fourth grade of elementary school, her father and her mother divorced her), and she disagreed with the marriage. Later, she could not resist her husband, so her mother-in-law threw down a sentence, "You can do whatever you want, but even if you get the certificate, I will not recognize her as a daughter-in-law." After that, she didn't pay any penny or any effort, and let her "rush" to marry.
She has been married for five and a half years, and her son is two years old and three months old. She has never returned to her husband's house once. It's not that she doesn't want to go back, but that her mother-in-law is still angry and unwilling to see her.
She herself is also very self-aware. Her mother-in-law doesn't like her and doesn't like her son, so she won't show up in front of her, and she won't make any trouble for herself, nor will she make her mother-in-law upset.
So, now that her mother-in-law is in the hospital, she neither visits nor calls to express condolences.
However, although she has a bad relationship with her mother-in-law, she has never interfered with her husband doing things for her in-laws.
In recent years, she only made three requests to her husband on the day she got her marriage certificate:
First, I don’t stop you from getting close to your family, nor do I stop you from showing filial piety to your parents, but you can’t hold me and you with you. Of course, my family affairs will depend on myself;
First 2. When you do your work for your family, you will pay if you are willing to pay. If you are willing to contribute, you will work if you are willing. I can ignore it, but you cannot exceed your ability and you cannot have to make you fat;
3, I only accept you to be filial to your parents, and I do not accept your younger brother who will help you help you. If your parents raise you, you should repay them, but your brother is an adult and you have no obligation to share the burden for him.
In short, one sentence is: As long as we live a good life, you can treat your family no matter how you are.
Although her husband agreed to her requests without hesitation, he had also been unable to understand: he could not stand the soft and hard work of her parents-in-law, and would transfer money to her brother-in-law from time to time; when he had something to do with her husband's family and the young family at the same time, he would leave the young family without hesitation and take care of her husband's family first.
She was also angry at first, but after calming down, she thought about it. Since her husband could forget so quickly, it would be useless even if she said too much. The only useful thing was to let her husband bear the consequences of "not being able to tell".
Isn’t her husband soft-hearted and loves to transfer money to her brother-in-law? Then she was also soft-hearted and transferred money to her brother from time to time; didn’t her husband care about her in-laws' family, and was he always unconscientious about her and her son? Then she also cared about her parents' family and cared about herself and her children, so that her husband could experience the feeling of being ignored and indifferent.
The two of them had quarreled and had a cold fight about this, but they had been in a stalemate for more than half a year. Finally, they shook hands and made peace and decided to "restrain themselves".
Seeing that her husband had changed little by little, her mother-in-law vented her anger, thinking that she was provoking discord and making her husband no longer so heartbroken to her family. For this reason, her mother-in-law called her and scolded her, and even asked her husband to divorce her and marry her.
Fortunately, no matter how my mother-in-law makes things difficult for her, she and her husband still persisted steadily, and the relationship between husband and wife is also pretty good.
In the past two years since she had a child, she has been a full-time mother at home. Although she has been ridiculed and sarcastic by her mother-in-law because she has no serious work, she has not taken it to her heart. She has not taken it to live the life of her child. Not only does she take it, she has also used her free time to be a self-media. In addition, she also took a certificate related to her work to prepare for her to return to the workplace in the future.
She said something to me yesterday, which made me feel both distressed and appreciated. She said:
" My husband asked me on the phone, are you still holding a grudge against my mother-in-law? I was laughing at that time, why should I hold a grudge? If I really hold a grudge, I would have pulled him to fight with my mother-in-law in the past few years, even if I can't let him get along with me. I always stand on the united front, and I will mess up their mother-son relationship! But I didn't do this! It's not that I am so generous, but that I really feel it's not worth it!
I don't care what my mother-in-law did, I only care about whether my life is good, because people have to look forward. If I keep struggling and unable to let go of my mother-in-law's affairs, it will eventually make me unhappy. My mother-in-law doesn't change her attitude because I'm unhappy or angry, so why do I keep remembering her and blaming her in my heart? It's better if she doesn't matter? I have to bear my own life.
Some people may say that I pretended, or I'm stupid. I never think so. On the contrary, I think I'm quite wise! "
02
My friend Susu, everyone has been angry about her before:
First, she was openly looked down upon by her mother-in-law when she got married; first, after she gave birth to a child, she resigned and became a full-time mother without hesitation.
She is kind and looks good, and has a good job (the monthly salary is 12,300 yuan before resigning). We all think that it is absolutely possible to find a woman like her who is slightly better than her husband's current conditions. In this way, she will not have to suffer so much anger, nor will she sacrifice herself for her family.
But sometimes, fate is so cruel, and good people can always encounter injustice.
Fortunately, gold always shines. Although Susu left the workplace for a while, she managed herself and her family very well. Since she got married, she and her family have been developing in a good direction.
Personally, I think it is impossible for a woman with a mentality like her to live a bad life.
never complained about my choice. After choosing a path, I went forward bravely. No matter how hard or difficult it is, I was optimistic and positive, not addicted to bad people and things, not complaining about the world, and working hard for a better life.
Although people with sunny and positive energy will be tired and difficult for a while, they will eventually make a fortune.
In fact, women enter marriage, especially after having children, must try their best to calm their mindset and focus as much on themselves as possible. Don’t look forward to or rely on the people around you.
Because, many times, if you feel that it is difficult or impossible to do something, then if you expect others to help you complete it, in the end, you will only disappoint yourself more, and at the same time you will be angry with others or even have conflicts.
At any time, people always have to think about growing up. This process may be painful, tired, and helpless, but you must carry it and grit your teeth and walk on, not for anyone, but just for yourself to have more choices, greater confidence, or even a better way out.
Just like when it comes to mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, many daughter-in-law will be confused. The mother-in-law has not regarded herself as a family and has never helped herself.
Actually, think about it seriously, is there any need to be dissatisfied with this?
If your mother-in-law doesn’t help you and doesn’t treat you as a family, will you not be able to live your own life? Or can you not live your life?
is not.
You still have a husband to share with you. If your husband is not reliable, you still have yourself to rely on.
