Yang Laoer from Yuanyang County, Xinxiang City has been very upset these days. Three days ago, his mother was hospitalized in an emergency due to illness. Yang Laoer was with his mother day and night. What made him angry was that his elder brother and sister-in-law were not seen at all.
Yang Lao Er found the emotional mediator and complained that his elder brother and sister-in-law would not spend a penny on their parents. I admit it, but at least you should fulfill your due responsibilities. It is okay to go to the hospital to take care of them, right? In Yang Laoer's opinion, the reason why the eldest brother became like this is directly related to his sister-in-law Liu Cuixiang.
The mediator found Liu Cuixiang to understand the situation. Liu Cuixiang felt even more aggrieved. Who said I don’t care? I called the emergency number that day.
According to Liu Cuixiang, when she received the news of her mother-in-law's sudden illness, she rushed to her mother-in-law's house as soon as possible and hurriedly called the hospital for emergency call. After the ambulance arrived, she took her mother-in-law away. At this moment, her father-in-law suddenly said something, changing the direction of the matter.
My father-in-law said, please accompany your mother-in-law to the hospital, bring the money with me, and I still have to look at my grandson, so I can't get rid of it.
What did Liu Cuixiang think? I, a weak woman, went to the hospital to accompany my mother-in-law. Can I afford to take the blame? If my mother-in-law has a good or bad luck, who is responsible?
But what did my father-in-law think? He wants to take care of his second son's child. The child is only 10 years old. If he goes to the hospital himself, who will take care of the child?
Liu Cuixiang (pseudonym)
For this reason, my father-in-law and Liu Cuixiang quarreled. My father-in-law said angrily, "If you don't go and do whatever you should do." Liu Cuixiang saw that her father-in-law had such an attitude, and she was so angry that she really did what she should do. In the end, her mother-in-law was accompanied by her second son who rushed home.
It seems that my father-in-law and Liu Cuixiang understood each other wrongly. My father-in-law thought that Liu Cuixiang was unfilial, but Liu Cuixiang was obviously afraid of it himself; and my father-in-law asked Liu Cuixiang to go first, which meant that he had settled his grandson first and then went later, but Liu Cuixiang thought that his father-in-law was just letting him accompany his mother-in-law alone, and he didn't want to be responsible.
The mediator found his father-in-law and Liu Cuixiang together, and made it clear that there were misunderstandings between them, but Liu Cuixiang was still resentful of his father-in-law's attitude that day. Why is this?
Because the grandson who was the father-in-law cared for that day was Yang Laoer's son, Liu Cuixiang felt unbalanced. The child she gave birth to and the father-in-law had never received such care from her father-in-law. Isn't this bias?
My father-in-law admitted that he had taken care of the second child, but there were special reasons. Boss Yang’s children were taken care of by Liu Cuixiang since childhood, so his grandfather naturally took care of them less. Yang Laoer's child has no mother and he works outside. Who cares about grandpa?
Reason is the reason, it is true that Liu Cuixiang and her parents-in-law have a bad relationship, and it is not a day when the ice is frozen.
father-in-law
Liu Cuixiang pulled the mediator to the inner room and asked the mediator to see her wedding bed when she got married. After lifting the quilt, she saw a broken iron bed, which was simply placed on the bottom with a broken wooden board. It looked like a construction site bed, and it didn't match the wedding bed.
Liu Cuixiang got married in 1996. At that time, every newcomer was equipped with a new bed. Although the in-laws' conditions were not good at that time, it would be okay to make a decent bed, right?
It can be seen that Liu Cuixiang has a bad relationship with her in-laws, and it started from the moment she passed the door.
1 years ago, Boss Yang and his mother had an argument again over trivial matters. The mother slapped her eldest son in the face. For this reason, Boss Yang felt angry. After a long time of sleep, he actually became heartbroken and was hospitalized for a long time. At that time, Liu Cuixiang had to help her husband see a doctor and take care of her children alone. This was the most difficult period of life. After that, the relationship between Yang and his wife took a sharp turn for the worse.
The parents were hospitalized, and the eldest couple no longer took medical expenses, but the obligation to accompany the care should be fulfilled. Take Liu Cuixiang as an example. Once, her mother-in-law was hospitalized and she went to the hospital to accompany her, while her own brother was also hospitalized due to an accidental injury. She didn't have time to go home to see her, which led to her family's opinions on her.
It can be seen that the elder couple still did the filial piety in terms of face, but they did it reluctantly.
Yang Lao Er asked a mediator
Liu Cuixiang's resentment did not only come from her parents-in-law's discomfort, but also from other relatives of the Yang family. For example, last year, her parents-in-law was hospitalized almost at the same time. She could not be separated and could only go to the hospital to accompany her mother-in-law, but was accused by Yang Lao Er for not taking care of her father-in-law. Isn't this unreasonable?
Four children of the Yang family, two daughters married outside, and only the eldest and eldest son Yang and the single Yang Laoer were left by their parents. They usually have something to do with their parents, and these three people are in charge.
If you calculate carefully, Liu Cuixiang even takes care of her in-laws for more time than the two sons of the Yang family, but because of the rift between her and her in-laws, her efforts are not recognized by Yang family.
The mediator saw the crux of both parties. Liu Cuixiang felt that she had been excluded for a long time in this family and was angry, so this time her mother-in-law was hospitalized and didn't care. As a result, Yang Lao Er wiped out her previous efforts.
The mediator advised Yang Laoer, after all, you are not understanding each other and communication is not in place. Who can do without mistakes in a sage? Can you look at the other party’s efforts and advantages more, care less about gains and losses, and work together to help your parents?
All Liu Cuixiang wants is just a breath, not really not to ignore her mother-in-law. After the mediation, she took her daughter to the hospital and saw her mother-in-law. When the mother-in-law saw her eldest daughter-in-law and granddaughter, she was very happy. How much dissatisfaction disappeared.
mediator
It can be seen that it is indeed not easy for Liu Cuixiang to live in the Yang family. Any bride will have an idea when she sees the wedding bed made of broken wooden boards. She has never been favored by her parents-in-law for so many years.
96 was 26 years ago. Although most families were not wealthy at that time, basically every family had a TV, so it was okay to have a new bed when getting married.
But what did Liu Cuixiang see after marrying into the Yang family? It is a simple iron bed , with a pile of broken wooden boards with uneven surfaces, uneven horizontal and vertical vertical. What is that feeling? This bed is the masterpiece of my parents-in-law.
Even if the Yang family was not in good condition at that time, even if they couldn’t afford a new bed, it was really not difficult to build a decent bed. How much does it cost to have a complete wooden board? Even if you borrow it, it wouldn't be so shabby, right?
There is only one explanation. The old couple of Yang family did not take the eldest son's marriage seriously, nor did they pay attention to Liu Cuixiang as their daughter-in-law, otherwise they would not have done such a thing. Since then, not only Liu Cuixiang has complained about her parents-in-law, but also Boss Yang has a rift with her parents, laying the groundwork for the subsequent series of things.
The old couple should at least be able to treat their eldest son like this for whatever reason. If they treat a bowl of water equally, will their son and daughter-in-law treat themselves like this? People should put their hearts in hand.
Yang Lao Er
Of course, Yang Lao Da and Liu Cuixiang should also consider problems from the perspective of their parents. They should not blindly fight with no communication with problems. Everyone has difficulties in their hearts. It is not harmful to put themselves in their shoes and think about them.
Reasonablely, Boss Yang is the eldest son of the Yang family, and it is not common sense for parents to neglect their eldest son to get married. What's more, parents can't bear to worry about such neglect? Is it possible that it is not intentional neglect, but just that it is not particular?
The mistake of marriage bed was relatively low-level, but from the perspective of the two elderly people in the Yang family, they did not specifically target their son and daughter-in-law. The son just got married and the daughter-in-law had just passed the family. How could there be any deep hatred between each other? The most likely explanation is that the two old men do not pay so much attention, which is caused by carelessness.
Perhaps in the eyes of the old couple, getting married is just a formality and living a good life. After all, in the eyes of the older generation, there is not so much attention, and I never thought that my son and daughter-in-law would be worried about this matter.
As for taking care of children, the elder couple should also understand different situations. Yang Lao Er has no wife but has children, which means that he or she is either divorced or his wife is gone. He still has a job himself, so it is normal for parents to help take care of the children.
At least at this point, Liu Cuixiang does not need to argue with her parents-in-law. The situation between the two families is different, and what is lacking is mutual understanding.
Liu Cuixiang felt wronged
The other children of the Yang family have not played a role in mediating the relationship between their elder brother and their parents over the years. It only means that they have not understood their elder brother and sister-in-law will not be unable to get along with their family members if they understand a little.
Yang Laoer attacked the elder brother and sister-in-law, and Yang Laoer was also asked the mediator to come forward. He only worried that the elder brother and sister-in-law did not go to the hospital to accompany her mother, but ignored her brother and sister-in-law's previous efforts to the family.
Yang Lao Er only saw that his brother and sister-in-law did not spend money on taking care of their parents, but ignored the fact that their parents had long been neglecting their brother and sister-in-law, and did not think about why the relationship between her brother and sister-in-law and her parents became like this.
As for the other two daughters of the Yang family, they didn't even show their faces, and they seemed to be stubborn without any concerns.
You should know that the two elderly people in the Yang family have been hospitalized many years. The one who cares for the most is his sister-in-law Liu Cuixiang. He has money and hard work. Although Liu Cuixiang has not paid, it is sometimes harder to contribute than to pay, right?
1 years ago the conflict between the mother and the eldest son made Yang feel the root of the disease. The other younger brothers and sisters only saw that the eldest brother had a bad attitude, but did not see that the eldest brother and sister-in-law had not been easy for these years.
Family conflicts, non-party parties should play a regulatory role, but everyone will only accuse the eldest couple. What else can be said besides making them even more unfair?
Liu Cuixiang takes her daughter to the hospital to see her mother-in-law
Conclusion:
There is no deep hatred between relatives. What damages family affection is exactly those inconspicuous things. Today is a little bit of family affection, and tomorrow is a little more harm, and in the end, the amount of it accumulates.
And these small things can be resolved through communication, but once people lose communication, even relatives who have lived together for decades may not understand each other.
This is how many family conflicts come about, especially between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. They can clearly connect with each other by relying on women's empathy, but they have to use their petite heart to reject each other. Why bother?
I hope that after this mediation, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can understand and support each other. How many people can accompany each other for 26 years in life? Getting together is fate.
It is hoped that other family members should focus on the overall situation, build more bridges and less damage, so that their families can be prosperous. The sooner they understand this principle, the more prosperous their lives can be.
