Zhang Ailing once said, "I always say that I love you for a lifetime, as if we can control birth, old age, sickness and death." When will it gather, when it disperse, when it is born, when it is dead. It's really invincible.
deeply agrees with it. You think that after having a relationship, as long as you manage it carefully, you will eventually get the results you want.
But in fact, things involving two people are sometimes not unilateral decisions. You are still addicted to feelings, but the other party betrays you for various reasons.
What should I do at that time? It can not only achieve psychological balance and minimize the damage?
In fact, when encountering such a thing, it is difficult for most people to maintain true rationality, thus making a series of wrong behaviors, and putting themselves in a more passive state.
One, treat third parties relentlessly.
The original normal life suddenly revealed that the fact that his partner had a third party outside. At this time, no one could be calm.
There are often some people, especially women, who will think of the problem that they are all third parties at the first time. If it weren’t for the other party’s charm, their men would definitely be good.
So when his mind was unable to calm down, he found a helper to chase and intercept the third party, and even deliberately humiliated him.
It seems that this operation is very satisfying and makes the third party feel ashamed. Who made her deliberately interfere in her marriage?
But in fact, doing so can easily lead yourself to dire straits. If you hurt a third party, you will be punished by law; if you promote the other party's despised behavior and post privacy photos everywhere, it will violate the legal problem...
And these practices also have a possibility to push your partner to the third party. After all, the stronger you do, the more you feel the third party, the more you feel, it will arouse men's desire to protect.
, forgive the other party easily and accept the return.
There are often people in life who deal with betrayal in a relatively weak way.
Hearing that the other party was willing to return to the family, he quickly turned aside and accepted him home. But in fact, it is highly likely that there will be a second time if there is a first time...the Nth time.
The easier it is forgiving to betrayal, the harder it is to change the bad habit of betrayal. Because from this matter, he saw that the cost of making mistakes is not high, so he can't live without himself if he decides.
Therefore, if you want to forgive the other party and accept it back to your side, you must also have a better series of measures to make the other party feel the price you may have to pay if you cannot be loyal.
For example, set up rules and regulations in property distribution, such as controlling the economic power in the family, ideal accounts... When the other party thinks that he may become nothing due to betrayal, the cost of trial and error is too high, he dare not make mistakes so easily.
This is the more rational approach.
Third, keep counting the other party's errors.
This world is full of complicated things, and traps may be set everywhere.
Although a person must understand his responsibilities after having a family, sometimes he often walks by the river and his shoes will inevitably get wet. It is normal for the other party to be unable to accept it for a while after making a mistake. However, after accepting the other party’s apology and accepting him back to his family, he kept mentioning the other party’s mistakes.
When encountering any movement, the plants and trees immediately became soldiers, and they always looked at them and saw through them. They were aggressive and could not listen to the other party's explanation at all.
This approach seems to preserve the integrity of the family, but in fact the subsequent marriage is even more painful.
It is difficult for two people to go back to the past no matter what. It is a torture when facing each other.
If you really can’t tolerate sand in your eyes and can never be betrayed again, it would be better to let each other go, at least it would be better to face the next life together endlessly.
The fourth is to treat the person's body with the way he is.
Emotions have always been two-way, not a one-man show.
If two people are together, they really can't live on. At worst, they can't be separated for two people and they will be happy. At least, life in the future is still longer, and it is better to live than living in endless torture.
However, this situation will also exist in marriage. One party betrays, but the interests between the two people are mixed and cannot be completely separated for a while, while the other party is always difficult to accept and forgive.
The final default is that both parties play their own things, and no one should interfere with each other, and they will no longer talk about things in the moral category and maintain a superficial relationship between husband and wife. Getting along like
is actually full of harm and no benefit. It is better to break it clean as soon as possible, especially families with children, which will also have a great impact on children's growth.
There is also a situation where one side betrays, the other side is so angry that it eventually takes an extreme approach, which is considered revenge. But how can the two of them get along face to face again in this way?
The fifth one, he kept blaming himself and thought he had done something bad.
Often, some people will instinctively take responsibility on themselves when they encounter problems with their marriage.
The other party betrayed him, it must be because he didn't do well enough that he had the idea of escaping from his marriage.
Although, if there is a problem with marriage, it is most likely not the responsibility of one person, and both parties have problems. But you always take all the responsibilities and don’t communicate well with the other party, so that you will be in a humble position for a long time.
The lower your posture, the more the other person feels that you are insignificant. If you encounter someone who is not responsible, you will bully you even more. He won't see your goodness, he will only take everything you do for granted.
So, no matter how much you blame yourself, it will be difficult for your marriage to become happy. It’s better to be more confident and generous, find out the problem, and then decide how to deal with the marriage.
Everyone hopes that holding hands will last a lifetime, living a lifetime of life with one person, and having a happy and beautiful life.
But things about emotions are not like anything else, and it is unfortunate to meet an irresponsible partner.
However, not all mistakes cannot be forgiven. If you betray the party and be determined to be positive, you will not be willing to give up. You might as well become more rational, smart, calm down and think about the next step of your business.
Any impulsive behavior cannot solve the problem. Instead, it will make simple things more complicated and make your life more tangled.
If you are still willing to stay in this marriage, you might as well give the other party a chance, set a test period, and rebuild the trust of both parties.
If you can't be calm and you can't pull out the thorn in your heart, then don't torture each other anymore. Letting go may be the best solution.
END.
