Too much words will lead to mistakes, disaster comes from the mouth, and diseases come from the mouth to the . All of these words tell us the importance of being able to speak and the importance of controlling the mouth.
Water can carry a boat, but it can also overturn the boat. Details can create a relationship and destroy a relationship. Language, as an indispensable part of details, naturally plays a crucial role in love.
As a woman with a main emotional way of thinking, she is born with delicate emotions than men, so they will say more than men.
Sometimes, we don’t know if what we say is appropriate, but the person we hear will feel offended.
In love, there are three sentences that are easy to destroy men, but many women are saying it.
1. Ignore the other person's feelings, for example: "I'm all for your own good, why don't you listen?"
psychologist Wu Zhihong believes that giving desperately for love is a thought that this kind of thought seems very great, but is actually a deep narcissism.
People who have this kind of thinking seem to be considering and giving for the other party. In fact, they do not see the other party’s true feelings and needs.
To put it bluntly, the saying "I'm all for your own good" is selfish. She ignores the real needs of her partner, and she is just giving her own efforts.
"I'm doing your good" is the most helpless shackle in love, because the other party's starting point is good. If we don't accept it, we think it's a waste of other people's good intentions, or we are ungrateful.
What a person calls dedication to love is actually her own needs, but not necessarily the needs of her lover.
is nothing to pay, but what we need to consider is whether what we think is good is what the other party wants. If the other party does not need it at all, it doesn’t matter if we don’t give.
The most important thing in a relationship is mutual respect, respect needs, respect differences, and respect each other's true feelings in this way, there will be no "destroying a person".
2. Negate the other party, for example: "You can't do it, why are you so bad/scary"
people are subjective initiative creatures. Many times, the purpose of our things is to be recognized by others and society.
When we get recognition, we will develop confidence and the driving force to continue completing tasks, and we will be full of enthusiasm for doing things.
It may not be that easy to achieve a person, but it is easy to destroy a person. You just need to say "you can't do it" and "you are too bad".
The variety show " Goodbye Lover " Zhang Wanting has a strong desire to control herself. She seems to be willing to belittle her husband in front of others, saying that her husband is lucky and unlike herself, she can only marry him as a burden.
can be seen that her husband Song Ningfeng is decadent and cannot even see the light in his eyes.
The reason is very simple. After Zhang Wanting kept belittling, her husband Song Ningfeng began to doubt whether she was really useless and whether she was really that bad.
Various belittlements made Song Ningfeng feel serious unworthy. Even if others praise him, he will be frightened and self-doubted.
You see, it is that simple to destroy a man. When we define the other person with the three words "you can't", the other person will be pinned on the pillar of shame by these three words.
Since it is not deprecated once or twice, this feeling of being attacked will make people angry at first, but over time, it will make people numb and eventually form the consciousness of "I really can't do it".
Belief is to destroy a person's psychological defense deepest, lose himself and become numb while being constantly denied. Finally, a person is destroyed silently.
3. Overly affirmative, for example: "Whatever you do is right, I listen to you."
If we blindly deny men, what follows is the other party's psychological defense line being destroyed, and becomes numb in the constant self-doubt and self-denial, and finally succumb to reality, think that we are really bad, and never recover from it.
Everything is targeted, and blindly denying it will not work, and blindly complimenting and praise is also inappropriate.
wants to let it perish, so let it go crazy first. We feel that we are simply praising men is increasing men's confidence and affirming men's sense of existence.
is not actually the case. Some people are self-aware and know how much they are. Even if others praise themselves madly, they know what their real state is.
But some people are not. They are arrogant and arrogant. When others praise them blindly, it means praise, which will make them gradually lose themselves in the unrealistic praise.
This is very scary. A person is praised very much in praise. Due to the lack of self-knowledge, they do not know how far they are from the ground.
Their strength cannot match the praise they receive. Once they return to reality, they will never recover because they cannot accept the huge gap.
So, it is OK to praise or deny it, but it must be in line with reality and pay attention to the frequency. The two influence each other so that a man can avoid going to extremes.
