Introduction
The topic of "superior care" has always been a topic that everyone talks about. Some people say that having children is used to prevent aging. Most of them have this idea. After all, it has been passed down in this way. It is indeed normal to have this idea.
However, with the development and progress of society, "raising children to prevent old age" has gradually left society, because young people are under increasing pressure in life now, not only have to make money to buy a house, a car, and marry a wife for their son, but also have to serve their grandchildren. They will be powerless for their parents. This makes those elderly people feel that they have no support, especially those who have the mentality of "raising children to prevent old age", most of them will end up disappointed after living with their children for a period of time. So since raising a child is not aware of old age, how should you support the child when you are old? What should I rely on for my elderly care?
from Aunt He’s story
I am Aunt He, I am 79 years old this year, people from Luoyang, Henan, have been retired for more than 20 years, and my monthly pension is 4,800 yuan. Senior teacher retires, and my life is pretty good, not as good as the top, and I’m more than the bottom. Not only do I have no diseases, I’m not deaf, but also have no deaf ears or eyes, and my mind is also clear. just people around me look at me with sympathy, thinking I’m very pitiful and have no support for me.
Sometimes neighbors ask me why my three sons are so outstanding. They all graduated from prestigious universities and have high salaries. If they don’t go to their son’s house to support their elderly care, they have to live alone and live alone. What if there is something unexpected and their children are not around, they advise me to live with my children, not to be afraid of ten thousand, but to be afraid of if, because many sudden complications when people get older are unpredictable.
I silently bear their concern in my heart. Why don’t I want to have a lot of children and grandchildren to have fun in my knees! In fact, I used to live in my three sons' houses and took turns to live for a while. When I was 75 years old, my wife died of illness, my sons were worried that I was at home and all proposed to ask me to go to their house for retirement.
For fairness, they discussed how each son lived in his home for 4 months and took turns to support me in retirement. I was very happy at the time and felt that my hard work had finally paid off. I packed up my simple luggage and was taken to his house by my eldest son. When I first entered the house, my son, daughter-in-law, and my unmarried granddaughter all welcomed me.
has 3 rooms in the house. I specially cleaned up the room, laid a bedding, prepared new towels and toothbrushes. In short, there is everything. I feel very happy to be with them every day. My son will give me extra pocket money every month and don’t need me to cook. I just need to eat, drink and have fun. However, this kind of life lasted only 2 months, and then there was a conflict.
The eldest son lives in the provincial capital. Every time the three of them go out to work, I leave me alone at home. I stay at home and want to go out for a walk. But I didn't know that after I went out, I saw an event in a shopping mall, which was very cheap. Many friends of the same age were robbing me. So I bought some rice, noodles and cooking oil
Usually this thing is no problem for me. There were too many people who were tripped that day, and they broke their legs and lying on the ground, so painful that I burst into tears. I called my son who was working. After he knew it, he scolded him and said: "Mom, are you old and confused? My family is living a good life now, and I don’t lack that little money! Look at the cost of treatment now, how much rice and noodles can I buy. Are you not intentionally causing trouble for me?” After hearing this, I cried silently. My son didn’t care whether it hurts me or not, but just blamed me for causing trouble for them. After being discharged from the hospital, someone needed to stay at home to take care of me. My son was the management of the company and could not ask for leave. The important task of taking care of me could only be handed over to the eldest daughter-in-law. The eldest daughter-in-law is a delicate and beautiful woman who loves beauty. She looked reluctant to take care of me at home. Sometimes I was hungry and she had not yet gotten up. I went to ask her to get up and cook, but she kept sleeping in a quilt and pretended not to hear it.
Or she would order takeout for me to deal with it. Sometimes I wanted to go to the bathroom and needed her to support her, so she pinched her nose and said that the smell of old age was too smelly. Sometimes her friend would ask her to go out to play and would throw me alone at home and put some biscuits and other food for me. I knew she had no obligation to take care of me, so I endured all this. My son came back very late every day, and I didn't tell him, for fear that it would affect their mood because I did.
soon passed 4 months, and my legs were fine and neat, so I looked forward to living at my second son's house. On weekdays, the second son is the second son, who is also the most filial son. The second son is a party member and cadre and the section chief. He is very busy on weekdays. When I knew I was going to come, the assistant sent to pick me up. The second son's house has a two-story house of more than 200 square meters. It has arranged a large master bedroom on the first floor facing south, with an independent bathroom inside, and a lot of new clothes and food that the elderly like to eat.
The second child is not only filial but also a person who values love and friendship. However, his marriage is particularly unhappy. He has been married to his original wife for 20 years and has no children. The two have a good relationship and have never been willing to divorce. Later, the daughter-in-law learned that it is not a solution to be sorry for the second child. So she took the initiative to file for divorce. In order to make up for her daughter-in-law, the second child gave her a pension fee.
After the divorce, the second child found a new wife who was 16 years younger than him. She gave birth to a son after one year of marriage. So when I arrived, my daughter-in-law was still in the confinement center. After my daughter-in-law came home, I took the initiative to take over the grandson and stuffed a big red envelope. However, the daughter-in-law said, "Don't get too close, for fear of elderly bacteria!"
I stood there a little embarrassedly, and my son said, "Xiaoli, how do you talk! She It’s our mother. Without her, there would be no me. I respect her at home. Do you know?”
Although my daughter-in-law didn’t say anything at the time, she always couldn’t get along with me afterwards. I was over 70 years old. Every day, I took the initiative to take care of the things at home and wiped them clean every corner. She also took the initiative to cook. My daughter-in-law always thought that my cooking was unhygienic and did not want to eat and order takeaways. I was really embarrassed. I cook for her, but she didn’t want to eat. Sometimes I only cook for one person, and she said I was selfish.
Sometimes I hear the child crying all the time. I rush into my daughter-in-law's room and see her daughter-in-law playing with her cell phone with her sideways. She doesn't care about the child crying. I want to go over and hug her and coax her. She told me not to touch me and think I am dirty. It's really difficult to communicate.
But I still have to pretend to be very harmonious with my daughter-in-law. My son is busy until very late every day. I don’t want him to worry about family trivial matters. Sometimes when my son gets off work early, he will bathe my feet, chat with me, and ask me if I am used to it. I often think that the children are not unfilial, but they are too busy and have no time to care about our feelings.
soon ended 4 months, and I came to my third family again. The third family was in a bad condition and was not in good health. I had a major operation a year ago. Now I have no job and have been recuperating at home. Everything at home is handled by the third wife. When the third son was sick, I gave 10,000 yuan. Now my daughter-in-law still has no good face and thinks that it is a burden for me to come to their house, so I am very self-aware. I take the initiative to work and cook at home, cook and wash clothes for the third son, and take the initiative to go back to my room and don’t come out at night. Try to talk less and do more.
But every time the third wife comes back, she will lose her temper and call my son a coward. The family's expenses are supported by her. She still earns money every month and has to support an old person. After hearing this, I burst into tears and took the initiative to take out my pension to supplement their lives. After that, my daughter-in-law's attitude towards me was slightly eased. But I am so tired that I can't straighten my waist every day. I feel that I am not here to take care of them, but I am taking care of them like a nanny.
soon passed four months, and my eldest son called me to answer me for retirement, but I refused. I don’t want to join the young people’s families anymore. I feel that I can’t integrate with them. I feel that I am an unnecessary existence in any family.
I saw friends of the same age live freely and comfortable in the nursing home in South . At first I thought it was a nursing home, but later I learned that it was still very different from a nursing home, because the nursing home is free to enter and exit, the nutritional combination is balanced, and sometimes I also organize tours around the elderly.
So I decided to go and see it. All three sons opposed me going to the nursing home and wanted to provide me with my elderly care. I was determined to leave. The eldest brother accompanied me to the high-speed rail to the nursing apartment. After inspecting for a few days, I decided to stay. After my son completed the procedures for me, he went back. He also told me to come and pick me up at any time if I can’t get used to it.
After I moved in, I felt very relaxed and free. There were many peers in it. Soon I made many good friends, and I also had entertainment activities such as senior colleges, where I could learn calligraphy, play the piano, and draw, and other entertainment activities. It was free to study any major. I signed up for painting. My previous hobby was painting, but I just kept revolving around housework, which was delayed.
and the food is also very good, with both southern and northern flavors, and they are all cooked so hard. It is a great benefit for some elderly people with bad teeth. They are different every day and have a balanced nutrition.
Sometimes, we also have competition events. If some elderly people are better at studying and won the top 10, they will be rewarded for 3-day surrounding tours. So we are all very active and eager to learn and strive to win the prize. I feel that our mentality is much younger here and our lives have been sublimated. We no longer have to worry about being the redundant person.
I am no longer an old woman who revolves around housework. There is a canteen for dinner and a hospital for medical treatment. It is not hot in summer, but floor heating is available in winter. 24 hours hot water. A place where the elderly live and don’t want to go. My time is spiritual enjoyment and psychological happiness.
My big family and I have benefited from it. My sons don’t have to worry about my pension problems anymore. They do whatever they like. They have freedom, and I also have my regular life. As long as you don’t cause trouble for them, it’s the most important thing.
I also figured it out that people have completed their tasks when they are old, and they have decisively left their children and let them be free and happy. I also plan to donate their bodies, implement collective sea burials, contribute to human medical research, and reduce the burden on their children. I think people will die in the end, and there is no need to do a big fuss.
As long as you live happily in your life, as long as you have a good attitude, face life calmly and calmly, and face life and death calmly. Enjoy life well and do whatever you want in the future. Do you think I'm right?
