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text: Shili
illustration: from the Internet
"Some time ago, I lost the person I loved the most. She married someone else because I couldn't take out the bride price and house she wanted, so she married a rich second generation. I don't blame her reality, but I just blame myself for being unprosperous and having a bad life. Because I have no prospects and no ability, I missed her. I was in great pain and didn't know how to face the rest of my life. I feel that life has no meaning, so I can only live in a daze." Two days ago, a friend sent such a private message.
I feel the same way when I see this private message.
For a man, the most painful thing in life is that at the most helpless age, he meets the person he wants to take care of the most for the rest of his life.
Just like this friend, the author understands his current pain very well, but he does not recognize his attitude towards life.
For him, he doesn't have to be so self-pity, because there is no right or wrong in love, only the distinction between love and not love.
Instead of complaining about the injustice of fate, he might as well take his destiny in his own hands and learn to work hard to change everything.
Otherwise, even if he meets a better woman in the future, he will only repeat the same mistakes and regret not working hard at the beginning.
If he works hard enough, his destiny will not affect him at all. He just needs to work hard to beat most people.
After all, most people have low efforts and no need to compete for talent.
When a woman doesn’t love you, don’t complain, remember four sentences.
1. Instead of pleasing others, it is better to love yourself well
. They all say: "The melon that is forced to twist is not sweet, and the person who is forced to stay is not real."
agrees deeply about this.
In a relationship, if a woman decides to leave you, she will not pity you because of your bowing. She will only look down on you even more and want to leave you immediately.
Because humility cannot exchange for love, it will only make you more charming.
force a person you don’t love. It seems that you can’t let go of the other person, but in fact, you let yourself go.
When the other person doesn’t love you, choosing to let go must be the most responsible way to be yourself.
In this world, no one can truly love you without conditions except parents.
Most of the love actually have other plans.
The greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment.
Instead of holding indifferent expectations, it is better to look forward to each other and live a more realistic life.
You have to learn to love yourself. When you can be self-sufficient and love yourself, there will naturally be someone to love you.
A person worthy of being loved must know how to love himself.
A person who doesn’t even love himself will definitely not get the love of others.
Because you don’t even love yourself, who will truly love you?
In a relationship, when two people who love each other deeply gradually get farther and farther away.
It’s not that one party did something wrong, or that he was not worthy of being loved, but that both parties could no longer attract each other.
There is no right or wrong in love, only love and not love.
If the other person doesn’t love you anymore, then you should learn to let go.
The self-deceiving love cannot get feedback at all, it will only hurt itself, and then fall into the abyss of pain and cannot extricate itself.
2. You are excellent, but the other party is not suitable for you.
Many people always complain and doubt after their relationship breaks down.
pushes all the problems on yourself, and then punishes yourself and lives in pain.
But I don’t know that when there is a problem with love, both parties in the relationship cannot escape the relationship, and everyone has a responsibility.
so, don’t punish yourself for being careless about others.
All of this is not your fault. You are excellent enough, but the other party is not suitable for you.
When that person who is right for you appears, none of this will be a problem.
That person is just not here, not without it, sooner or later you will meet the person who loves you.
There is a saying that goes:
"Don't chase a horse, use the time of chasing a horse to plant grass. When spring comes, there will be a group of horses for you to choose from."
There are so many trees in the world, why do you have to hang yourself on a crooked tree?
The man who believes in love will never be disappointed. Sooner or later, she will come across mountains and seas.
3. She is just a passerby in your life. No matter how beautiful the memory is, it is just the past.
When you end a relationship, men must distinguish between reality and fantasy.
can't live in that beautiful memory all the time, because all this is irreversible.
Just like the saying in Qianli Qianxun: "Life is a train to the grave. There are many stations on the road, and it is difficult for someone to walk with you from beginning to end. When the person who accompanys you is about to get off, you should be grateful even if you are reluctant to leave, and then wave goodbye."
Some people, even if they have been with you for a long time, even if these days are beautiful, from the moment she leaves you, she is a passerby who never returns.
In this life, it is difficult for you to meet again.
The relationship between you and her was just that you once had common hobbies and ideals at a certain stage and had endless things to say.
All of this will always stay at that stage.
You can put this memory in your mind, but you can't always be addicted to it and not face reality.
Gathering and separation are common. Instead of being obsessed with the illusory beauty, it is better to focus on the present and cherish the people in front of you.
4. Instead of living in painful memories, it is better to rise up and move forward.
When the relationship ends, a man is not trapped by love, he should open himself.
Most people who are nostalgic for memories are actually not excellent enough.
In psychology, the more you care about what, the more you will torture you.
The more you want to get rid of the pain and urge yourself to forget this unforgettable relationship soon, the more likely you will think of him and fall into negative emotions of self-deception and it is difficult to extricate yourself.
You always think that after you miss this relationship, you will not be able to meet a better person.
so emotionally falls into trouble and repeatedly torture yourself.
In fact, the reason why most people think randomly is because they are too idle and have time to suffer.
Instead of painfully recalling the impossible past, it is better to rise up and keep making yourself better.
When you divert your attention and devote your time and energy to other more meaningful things, you can reduce random thoughts, such as indulging in work, participating in activities, traveling, meeting new friends, cultivating new interests, hobbies and skills, etc., and even making new loves and giving yourself a new way of life.
When you become more and more outstanding and have higher vision, you will find that everything you remembered was nothing more than that.
If you bloom, the butterfly will come.
For men, career must be far more reliable than love, because only after you have a career can you be qualified to pursue what you love.
Love without material foundation is mostly vulnerable.
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Today's topic: "Do you think it's right?"
