我叫张丽，1990年出生在河南的一个小县城里，上边还有一个大我两岁的哥哥，家境还算可以。父亲在做农机生意，母亲在县里开了一个小服装店，在我看来是非常幸福一家人。
在13岁的时候，有一天我突然腹部疼痛难忍，去医院检查之后被判定为“石女”，好在是所谓的“外石”。通过手术之后，不影响以后的夫妻生活，但是几乎没有怀孕的可能。
我自小长得就很漂亮，经常会听到别人的称赞，加上生活条件也还可以，没有什么烦恼，就养成了我自信开朗的性格。
When I grew up, my parents were worried that I would not be able to get married because of the "stone girl". I was worried about it all day long, but I was embarrassed to speak in front of me.
这些我都看在眼里，但是在我看来“石女”这件事情，根本就不会对我造成困扰，毕竟都21世纪了，那么多的人都选择“丁克”，也不差我这一个，不就是不会生孩子嘛。
我的第一段婚姻。
When I was in college, I was very popular with my classmates because of my cheerful and beautiful personality, and I had many suitors.
其中有一个叫刘乐的男生追求的最执着，人也长得高高帅帅的，这让情窦初开的我非常心动，我们很快就坠入了爱河。
After graduating from university, I chose to work in the city where Liu Le lives for love, which moved Liu Le very much and said that he would only be good to me in this life.
期间，我再三地考虑，还是对刘乐坦白了自己不会生孩子的事情，毕竟如果真的在一起了，早晚会知道的，还是提前说明白了好。
我也不是有意欺骗他的，可这种事情，不是熟悉到一定程度的人，我怎么好意思开口，难道遇到一个人就说自己不会生孩子？
当我小心翼翼地告诉刘乐后，没想到他完全不在意。他满不在乎地说：“那我们就不要孩子嘛，二人世界更开心，而且就是以后真的想要孩子了，完全可以抱养一个嘛。”
听了刘乐这样回答我真的非常感动，决定这辈子一定一心一意地对他好。
不久之后我们就见了双方的父母。 My parents were very satisfied with Liu Le. But they were still a little worried, so they secretly asked me if Liu Le knew that I would not have a baby.
我跟父母说，放心吧，我都告诉他了，刘乐说他不在乎，我们以后就不要孩子了。 After hearing this, my parents became happier. The more they looked at Liu Le, the more they liked him.
很快我们就在双方亲友的见证下结婚了，婚后的生活也很幸福。 Just when I was still immersed in wonderful love, a family dinner broke my fantasy.
我的婆婆问我：“你们都结婚一年多了，怎么还没动静啊，什么时候准备要孩子？”
听了这话之后，原本还满脸笑容的我瞬间脸色煞白，我这时候才反应过来，原来我不会生孩子的事情我的婆婆并不知道，刘乐没有告诉他们。
我当时支支吾吾的，不知道该如何开口……
刘乐赶紧把话接了过去，忙说道：“妈，看你这话问的，我们想趁着年轻再玩两年，这事儿急不来的。”
婆婆也没有深究，以为我只是害羞而已。
虽然只是很小的一件事情，但是却成为了我心中的一根刺。回家之后我就质问刘乐，为什么这件事情没有告诉他的父母，这能瞒得住吗？
刘乐说：“你也不想想，如果我当初就告诉了他们，我们还能结婚吗？他们可就我这一个儿子，都等着抱孙子呢。"
Only then did I realize that I was really naive. I thought everything too simple...
Sure enough, in the days that followed, my mother-in-law would mention the matter of holding her grandson from time to time. Every time I evade and don't know where to start.
My mother-in-law is really good to me, but whenever I face my mother-in-law, I feel guilty and feel like I have deceived her. This is an old man who wants to be grandma, but I deprive her of her rights. Later, I was even afraid of seeing my mother-in-law. I was really fed up with such days.
Finally One day, I completely confessed to my mother-in-law that I would not have children. I also knew that this means that my marriage with Liu Le might end, but I really couldn't stand this torture.
After hearing what I said, my face changed at that time, but she didn't say much, just told me to go home first, and she had to think about it carefully.
Liu Le came back very late that night, and I knew that he must have been to his parents. I was like waiting for the final judgment, sitting on the sofa.
After he came back, he looked at me affectionately for a long time, and finally sighed and said, "Why are you doing this?"算了，既然你都已经决定了，那我们明天就去把离婚手续办了吧。 "
Although I had already expected it, my tears still couldn't stop flowing.
That's it, my first marriage ended three years later.
My second marriage.
After the first marriage ended, I was sad for a long time. Only then did I feel that my parents' worries were not unreasonable, everything was just because I thought too simple.
After divorced Liu Le, I changed to another city to continue living, and didn't want to stay in that sad place.
I found another sales job, so that I could get busy. I didn't have so much time to think about it. Every day I went to work and went home to sleep.
This kind of life lasted for two years. I have gradually adapted to this state. When I felt that I would continue like this in the future, I walked into my life alone. .
His name is Song Yang, 3 years older than me. Although he is not as handsome as Liu Le, he is very sunny, especially when he smiles.
We met at a cocktail party held by the company, and he attended as a representative of the Party A. He frequently talked to me and drank with me. I could see that he was interested in me, but he didn't care at that time. I have become much more interesting to me over the years, and I have long been immune.
What I didn't expect was that since that day, he got my phone number from somewhere and kept calling me for dinner. I kept refusing, but he was not angry and still called me every day. This made me very annoyed, so I agreed to his invitation and wanted to make it clear to him at one time.
We made an appointment to meet in a tea restaurant. After ordering the meal, I told him directly: "I don't want to talk to you yet. ”
He asked me: “Why?看你年纪也不小了啊，不会是拒绝我的借口吧？ "
I said, "That's not the case. It's mainly my own question, so don't ask."
He still refused to give up and kept asking, "Why? Just talk about it, otherwise I won't let it go. I fell in love with you from the first time I saw you. "
I curled my lips and said disdainfully: "Is that true? Then if I told you that I was divorced and I would not have children, would you still be willing to pursue me? "
Song Yang was stunned after hearing this, then laughed and said, "I think it's a matter? Is this a problem? What era is now? Divorce is what? And I was not going to have a child at first, so we just happened to be right. This is a good marriage.”
I said coldly: “What about your parents?他们会同意吗？ "
Song Yang still smiled and said, "My parents died in a car accident when I was a child. I grew up with my uncle's family. Now I live alone long ago, no one will care about me. "
After hearing this, I was suddenly stunned and didn't react for a long time. If it was really what Song Yang said, it would be an opportunity for me. As long as our relationship is good, nothing will be an obstacle.
I said in a daze: "Okay, then I'll consider it. "
actually agreed to his pursuit in my heart. After all, I have been through the years and I am really lonely alone, just pretending to be strong.
We started dating and soon we got together. Like other couples, we went shopping together, watching movies together, and crossed the road together, as if we were back in the Girls' Age. Song Yang is very caring about people, which makes me enjoy the feeling of being pampered.
We got married half a year later because he has no relatives and I have divorced, so we chose to travel and get married. There was no wedding, but just invited a familiar colleague to have a meal.
The life after marriage is the same as I expected, and I am very lucky. Luck, I no longer have to face the pressure brought by my mother-in-law. I am like a happy little bird, chirping around Song Yang every day.
But later, I gradually realized that I was wrong again. Song Yang actually likes children very much. When we were walking on the road together, when he saw other people's children, he would not help but look at them. When he saw photos of children posted in the chat group, he would also pull me to talk about who is cute.
What can I say? I can only face it in silence.
Then, Song Yang came back late at night, and he was drunk every time, and sometimes he didn't go home at night.
Once I couldn't help it, so I asked him: "What are you doing outside every day?为什么每天都这么晚？还喝得醉成这个样子？ "
Song Yang stared at me and pointed at me and said, "You have the nerve to ask me?" Do you know? I want a child so much. Is it still called a home without children? Every day when we go home, we are the only two of us, and we are lifeless all day long. It would be great if we had one child, and how much joy could one child bring! ”
I cried and said, “Didn’t you say you didn’t want a child at the beginning?怎么现在又反悔了？ "
He shouted loudly: "Yes, I regret it. I didn't think so much at the beginning. I just thought that it would be good for two people to live, but after a long time, it would not mean that. There are always times when I get bored. It would be different if I had a child. "
After hearing this, I wiped my tears silently, started packing my luggage without saying a word, and then left the house.
Song Yang sat on the sofa, and he didn't mean to stop me from beginning to end. When I walked out of the door, I knew that my marriage was over again and there was no room for recovery.
Sure enough, we did not take long after we went through the divorce procedures.
This was only then that I realized how important it is to have a child for a woman. The traditional concepts of thousands of years were not so easy to change. I am a "stone girl". This is a mistake in itself, and I have no right to choose love at all.
(It is not easy to write, please like if you like it, support [Pray])
