Someone told this:
When people reach middle age, they meet old friends who have not seen each other for a long time. The question I was most afraid of asking was: "Is your old man and old lady good?"
because I was afraid that the other party would droop: "I died last year!"
Now there is one more question I fear most. When you ask the other party, "Is your husband (or your wife) okay?", I am afraid that a dark cloud will instantly float:
"Hmph! Very good! Run!"
For middle-aged people, they have experienced many things and understood many truths. In theory, they should live a thorough life, but in fact, there are still many confusions and helplessness in their hearts.
A 54-year-old aunt Hu cried: "Having separated from me, my wife has been making trouble with ." What's going on?
01
Aunt Hu is an old colleague of mine. For some reason, she has recently separated from her husband. But they were very strange in their division.
That day, her husband said he wanted to live in the study, and then took away his clothes and bedding. When he came home from get off work every day, he hid in the study and refused to show up except for eating.
Not long after, he proposed to rent a house outside. Aunt Hu, who has always been competitive, not only did not stop him, but also helped to pack up his things.
The neighbors were surprised by this. But Aunt Hu said lightly: " People don't care about their face and are not afraid of hurting the child. What can I do?"
02
It sounds like all the mistakes are on her husband. However, another old colleague didn't think so, and said in secret:
"How wonderful is her husband? He has been serving the elderly and taking care of the children over the years. On the contrary, she has been vain since she was young, eating, drinking and having fun every day, going out early and coming back late, and rarely serving the elderly, let alone caring about the children!"
"I think her husband is just considering the face, so he endured it until now. When the child grows up and becomes sensible, he thinks to leave. At this point, the two of them are over. Her husband is also relieved."
After a while, Aunt Hu's husband had a girlfriend and filed for divorce. Aunt Hu suddenly became anxious and cried to everyone: " Since I separated from me, that unscrupulous bastard has been plaguing ."
03
03
It is really hard for a clean official to make a decision on family matters. I thought it was unreliable for that man, but I thought it was Aunt Hu who took it upon herself.
But then again, in similar family entanglements, no matter who is right or wrong, they will hurt themselves, hurt the other party, and even more hurt the child. There will be no real winner at all.
So, when people reach middle age, how should they deal with these confusions and helplessness?
First, play the role of children.
Someone joked that children are grown up, which is one of the prerequisites for middle-aged people to divorce .
Since this is the case, you might as well consider it in reverse. If children can actively communicate with their parents, and can objectively analyze and judge the conflicts between the two parties fairly, it may save the family and the parents' marriage.
Take a step back and say that even if children cannot stop their parents from being separated, as long as they maintain family affection and do not be spectators, they can resolve the resentment in their parents' hearts and prevent them from becoming enemies.
Therefore, giving full play to the role of children is an important means to resolve the midlife crisis.
Second, think from the perspective of others and treat it calmly.
people have one problem: when encounters problems, they always pick other people’s “thorns” and make excuses for themselves. It seems that this is a kind of "self-protection", but in fact it often intensifies the contradiction.
With more and more social experience, we must know both others and ourselves. Only when couples know how to think from the perspective of others, examine themselves more, and focus less on each other can they handle the problem calmly.
Finally, live until you are old and learn until you are old.
The best solution to face various confusions in life is to put it aside for the time being. Because we cannot change others and cannot hurt ourselves, we can only learn new things and let ourselves slowly adapt.
Nowadays, people live very self-centeredly and don’t think divorce is a shame. As long as they are happy, they will not care about other people’s opinions at all.
This is a reality, and it is also a fact that some middle-aged people need to learn to face.
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Thank you for your reading and support, and I wish you good health and happiness!
Author: Yi Shi Juan, an emotional narrator with a cheerful personality and joking love. I am willing to accompany my teachers and friends to appreciate life and talk about life with a joke.
