Wang Xiaobo once said: "Trying to profit and avoiding harm is the common nature of mankind, but everyone pursues such a process and will eventually be crowded in the low place, bustling like maggots..."
seeking profit is the nature of mankind. It is not wrong to protect your own interests, but you should not harm others and benefit yourself.
You want to get benefits and protect the interests in your hands. Similarly, others think so. When you infringe on his interests, he will also fight back and protect his own interests. To harm others and benefit oneself, it is likely that harm others and not benefit oneself in the end, and both sides will suffer losses. Those who were originally close to you and regarded you as friends will see through your true face and will only want to stay away from you.
In marriage, even if the other person loves you, he will feel extremely disgusted with your face that is extremely selfish and does not care about the interests of the small family at all, and feels chilled, wanting to leave you so that you will not be cheated by you to the point where you are empty.
Ni Kuang once said: "With a calculator, people who keep calculating will not have true love, no matter men or women."
Whether it is a man or a woman, if you meet someone who is good at calculating, you must be wary of yourself and protect your own interests. He can plot against you like this and not care about feelings at all, so he has clearly told you that he doesn't love you at all. If you have a slight love, you can't do such a thing.
Just like Li Yaping in " Double-Side Sticky ", he plotted against Hu Lijuan many times and made money from her mother's house. Even Hu Lijuan's belly and their children can become his tools for filial piety. Can he still say that he loves Hu Lijuan?
"Fortunately, I didn't listen to him, so I first pulled the marriage certificate . Otherwise, if I want to leave him now, I have to get the divorce certificate . He has been plotting for so long and will definitely not agree to the divorce easily. Then I will not be upset? I am blind, so I will fall in love with him."
Although I did not pull the proof and did not become a legally recognized couple, Wang Jingfang also clearly proposed to break up, but her boyfriend Xiong Liangping still refused to give up. He sent messages to Wang Jingfang many times. After being blocked, he ran to Wang Jingfang's company to wait, which made Wang Jingfang very distressed.
01.
Wang Jingfang and Xiong Liangping have been dating for two years, and have reached the point of discussing marriage. After passing the level of parents of both parties, the dowry was negotiated, and the 80,000 yuan was a formality, and the wedding date was also determined. It is scheduled for next Spring Festival. At that time, relatives and friends will return to their hometown, with more people, making it more festive.
However, since the wedding date and dowry were finalized, Xiong Liangping repeatedly proposed to Wang Jingfang that he would get the marriage certificate first to save any accidents when encountering, such as the epidemic, and he would be too busy.
Wang Jingfang thought that she was sure to get married anyway, and it would be the same for getting a marriage certificate early and late. So she agreed and decided to get a certificate on Double Eleven to post it, so she posted it on WeChat Moments to spit out dog food.
A few days ago, Wang Jingfang went home to visit his parents and told them about their plans to get the marriage certificate. The parents did not object, but just mentioned something to Wang Jingfang, that is, they planned to buy a house for their daughter.
"When it comes to houses, I don't need to buy a wedding house, just because my boyfriend has a house."
It turned out that when Xiong Liangping was in college, his parents made some money in business. Considering his son's lifelong affairs, he bought a two-bedroom apartment in this city, close to the city and surrounded by key primary schools. At present, the mortgage is paid by Xiong Liangping's parents, and the real estate certificate is written with Xiong Liangping's name.
02.
"His parents said that this house is a school district house, and the real estate certificate says Xiong Liangping's name, and it is very convenient for children to go to school in the future. Since I am still in the mortgage loan, I cannot add my name, so I will not add my name for the time being. When the mortgage loan is paid off and we have children, we will consider either adding my name or giving it to the child directly. I thought, I did not pay the money, and I was embarrassed to ask for a name at this time. Besides, I got married for the purpose of living a lifetime, and I didn't think so much. It doesn't matter if I add the name or not."
Wang Jingfang's parents knew about it, although they were embarrassed to ask their in-laws to add their names, they always felt that the house did not have the name of their daughter, and their daughter was not confident in living. They were worried that there would be problems with their daughter's marriage, so they decided to give their daughter a guarantee.
"My parents planned to sell the house in their hometown. They had no relatives anymore. They originally planned to stay here for retirement, plus their savings, and give me a loan to buy a house, and they would pay the mortgage. "
Wang Jingfang's mother is 53 years old this year. She can get more than 2,000 pensions per month. She works in a restaurant and earns about 3,000 yuan per month. Wang Jingfang's father works in a company and earns about 5,000 yuan per month. The couple earns 10,000 yuan per month, and the living expenses are about 2,000 yuan. She can afford a small house. It is still affordable.
At the beginning, Wang Jingfang did not want to affect her parents' quality of life in her later years. She was worried that her parents would suffer and did not agree, but her parents insisted on buying it.
"They said that this house was written in my name to provide me with the guarantee of marriage. If we live well, we will belong to our grandchildren in the future. Or we live badly and have a breakup, and I will have a place to stay with my children. Besides, they can live there and no need to rent a house anymore, moving around. They are just my daughter, and no matter how much money they save, they have to leave it to me, and the same goes for turning it into a house. "
03.
Seeing that my parents were loving, Wang Jingfang had no choice but to accept it and began to look for housing.
" He saw that I was browsing the information about the house and was running around, and felt strange and asked me what I was busy with. I didn't think too much about it. Thinking that he might know if there is a suitable house, I told him what my parents planned, asked him to recommend it, pay attention, and do a favor. "
didn't expect that. When Xiong Liangping learned that his future father-in-law and mother-in-law were going to buy a house, he was anxious. He first said that there was no need for this. They already had a house. He also said that the mortgage would be paid for 30 years. It would be impossible for his father-in-law and mother-in-law to continue to make money for so long, and it would become a burden for them in the future.
"My father meant to pay half the down payment and shorten the time for the mortgage. They were in good health. They had just passed fifty, and there would be no problem working for more than ten years. Didn’t you say that you would have at least two children? In this way, children will not have to worry about each other in the future, each one will be the same. "
Seeing Xiong Liangping still chattering, Wang Jingfang felt strange: "No, my parents used their savings and the house in their hometown to buy a house, and used their salary to repay the loan. We don't need a penny to pay. Where did you get so many opinions? "
" Your parents earn 10,000 yuan a month, and it's just right to raise their grandson. If they buy a house for you and pay off the mortgage, my salary needs to be paid to pay this house. Can your salary support your family? We must not reduce our quality of life? "
to the end of the fight, as Xiong Liangping lost his mind, and the more he spoke, he exposed his purpose, Wang Jingfang also understood Xiong Liangping's true thoughts.
"First of all, he believed that this house was my pre-marital property and had nothing to do with him. If he divorced, he would not get a penny. Secondly, he had already made plans to pay off the loan with his own salary and no longer spend his parents' money. Finally, he was worried that relying solely on my salary to support his family would reduce the quality of life, and he wanted my parents to pay and work hard to take care of their children. Bah, why didn't he die? "
saw through Xiong Liangping's true thoughts. Wang Jingfang was so angry that she slapped Xiong Liangping in the face and snatched the door. After
told her parents, her parents were very angry and comforted Wang Jingfang. It was not too late to see his true face at this time. Wang Jingfang also felt very lucky. Fortunately, she did not reveal the evidence, so she decisively chose to break up and proposed to break up.
04.
When he plots on you, if you are soft-hearted and retreat again and again, you are likely to lose both people and wealth, just because you are not greedy and swallow the elephant. This is human nature.
This is very consistent with the "Diderot effect" in psychology, that is: in a relationship, the other party has a psychological phenomenon of "the more you get, the less satisfied", and no matter how much you give, it is difficult to deserve his inflated desire.
is like Hu Lijuan in "Double-Side Sticky". Because she loves Li Yaping deeply, she repeatedly satisfyes Li Yaping's appetite in order to maintain her marriage. She took money from her parents' home to subsidize her in-laws' home. In the end, the money was gone and her life was lost, which reminded the woman.
If Hu Lijuan knows how to refuse, there is a little bottom line. Even if Li Yaping's true face is exposed, the two of them have a falling out and divorced, Hu Lijuan will not have nothing left.
The more you give, the more he is dissatisfied, and the more he thinks it is your obligation. When you no longer satisfy him, he will feel more uncomfortable and hate you even more.
END.
Today’s topic: Do you have any good suggestions for Wang Jingfang? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
