I am a three-married mother. Today I want to use my own personal experience to warn couples in the world who want to divorce. Divorce must be cautious. It is better to have the original wife in marriage. How harmful is the divorce? Only those who have divorced can truly feel it.
This is the crying of a woman who has been married three times in front of me. Her crying resonated with many women and men. At that time, there were at least 30 people, and none of them did not cry. Let’s listen to the cry of this third-married woman now! I state it in the first person. I hope to give you some inspiration.
My name is Su Ling, and I was born in 1970. I went south to work in 1989. At that time, I was 19 years old. I met a fellow villager while working. I was only more than ten kilometers away from my home and was from the same county. I joined a garment factory, and I do parking spaces and he is a mechanic repairman. He is two years older than me and is a monkey. He is very smart. We met and fell in love during the six months of working. In 1989, we didn’t go home for the New Year, we all celebrated the New Year in our factory in Guangdong. He is more free than me in me in mechanics. He helps me cook every day and helps me pick up hot water before taking a shower at night (the hot water in the factory has to be picked up at a fixed place). The factory only takes one day off, which is the day when the salary is paid. We go to play together every holiday.
Because it is a factory, the dormitory of men and women is very strict. In addition, we were relatively traditional at that time, and although we were in love, we did not go beyond the line. When the Chinese New Year was almost over 1990, our factory had a half month vacation. We went home to meet our parents. Both of us were willing, but the conditions in their families were too poor. His father and his brothers still lived in a brick house. His family only had one room and two beds in each room. He slept with his father and his sister slept with his mother.
I am worried about where we live after we get married? We got engaged before the Chinese New Year 90 years ago. At that time, we were engaged in a few pieces of clothes and a few hundred yuan. At that time, my father asked him, where do you live after getting married? He replied that he would prepare to get a house in New Year. Sure enough, the next year, his father built a two-story red brick house at home. We got married in 1991. After getting married, I became pregnant. After being more than seven months pregnant, I had no choice but to quit my job and went back to my hometown to have a baby. In August 92 I gave birth to my daughter. When I gave birth, he went home once, and during the Chinese New Year, I stayed at home for a year and two months. When the child was one year or two years old, I went to Guangdong to work again.
I have a good relationship with my parents-in-law at home and my sister. After arriving in Guangdong, I couldn't get into the original factory, so I had to go to another garment factory, which was about ten kilometers away from him. Once I met a colleague who used to work in the factory and told me that my husband had a good relationship with another woman in the factory and must have an affair. I don't care, but I feel very uncomfortable. One day when he came to me, I asked him directly if this happened? His eyes betrayed him, but he refused to admit it. There is no evidence and no way to explain this kind of thing clearly. The two of us parted in a bad mood. We only stayed together once a week for a year, so I rented a house (the factory does not provide accommodation). I didn't expect that I got pregnant once a week. I had no choice but to quit my job and go home after almost eight months. My second child was born in 1994.
When my second child came out again after he was one year old, he had already changed his factory and went to another garment factory to work as a department manager. He was very motivated and learned all processes such as cutting beds, turning, and tail parts using the opportunity of mechanics. When I found him, I had completely changed my personality from the beginning, and I spoke in an official voice. I didn't let me go into his factory, saying that my immediate family members could not be together, otherwise it would be difficult to deal with. I had no choice but to look for it, but he asked to look around his factory, saying that he would use his spare time to train me to manage it. I was very angry, so I found a garment factory 30 kilometers away from him. The factory had a large scale of thousands of people and the dormitory management was very strict. I had to enter the dormitory before 11:30 pm. I don't have to go out in this way. He has been here a few times and can only talk and has no way to live a married life.
Once he forced me to leave, otherwise he would never come again. I just wanted to torture him and make him plead with me. Unexpectedly, he never came to me since that time. A year and a half later, I went to his factory and he had already blatantly lived with another woman. We divorced in 1998, and he married another woman. I continued to work outside to raise two children and study. Unexpectedly, he opened his own factory after getting married. The woman lost the money to opening the factory and gave birth to a child for him. He rarely went home, and only that woman went back to her hometown. That woman had never taken care of the child.
My daughter was introduced to marry after graduating from the third year of junior high school, and my son only went to junior high school and went to work with others. This was my first marriage.
When I was working in 1999, a fellow villager introduced me to a boy who had never been married and was one year older than me. When we met, I told him about the specific situation and said he didn't dislike me for having a marriage history. I think his situation is pretty good, he is an IT company. The salary is not high but not low. It’s okay to spend a while together, but I just don’t like to talk. We had a wedding wine in August 2000 and did not get an marriage certificate . His home is not far from my hometown, and it is from the next town. After drinking, I didn't go out to work because I was pregnant. Unexpectedly, after I got pregnant, I had to do any work at home, and he didn't go out and stayed at home, but he didn't do anything at home and outside, and he kept a computer all day long. Once I cooked a little slower, and he was in a hurry to eat, so I said I would cook it myself if I wanted to. Unexpectedly, I shook my hand and slapped me. This is the first time I was beaten by D, and I was beaten by D when I was right. I was not convinced and scolded him for not doing anything. Is there any reason to eat ready-made people? As soon as I finished speaking, I was greeted by fist D and foot T.
My heart was cold at that time, and my first husband never Date me no matter what. I was so tired after only a few months here and felt very uncomfortable. I went to the hospital for treatment and asked the doctor if I could get the child down? The result is that the child has been five months old and cannot have a miscarriage. I felt like I was about to suffocate, and from then on, the two of them had almost nothing to say.
A month later, my grandmother was hospitalized after being sick. I was raised by my grandmother. In addition, my father married a stepmother, which was very bad for my grandmother, so I only went to the hospital to take care of my grandmother. I went to the hospital for three days to take care of him. On the fourth day, he came and asked me to go back home and have something to do. I said that I would have to wait until my grandma was discharged from the hospital before I could go back. He asked how many days would it take? I said it would take another week. Unexpectedly, I gave me a B-palm next to my grandma's hospital bed. Fortunately, my grandma was sleeping, and I was afraid that it would affect my grandma, so I walked out of the ward without saying a word. Don’t argue with him, and my grandma will go back when she is discharged from the hospital.
He didn't bother to go back alone, and I went back after my grandmother was discharged from the hospital. After suffering for several months, I finally gave birth to a daughter. His family was unhappy when he saw that it was a daughter. People are always serving their mother-in-law during confinement. I have hardly eaten any good things like chicken, fish, eggs, etc. during confinement. After the full moon, I went back to my parents' home and ate better chicken and fish at my grandma's place.
In May 2002, my grandma passed away. I had to go home to celebrate my filial piety, and he didn't want to go there, only I took my daughter, who was still one month or one year old. My grandmother's funeral took place for three days, and on the third day he came to pick me up with the child. I didn't expect that I was halfway through the journey to hold the child, and I was still the same kind of death. The child can't walk completely, hold the child with one hand and let him do it. Finally, I was so weak that he stopped and left alone with the child.
I am an acquaintance and saw that I was covered in bruises and helped me up, and then sent me back to my parents' home. My father cried when he saw me like that; even my stepmother cried when she saw me like that; the neighbors around him were even more upset when he saw it. My brother saw me and asked about the passing directly, and then took three or four boys to his house and beat him up. It was only later that I found out that my father sent me to the hospital for treatment.
I have never been back since then, and after my injury healed, I went directly to Guangdong. I went to the factory to work, and later went out to do business. I have given up on marriage, and no matter who mentions it, I will grit my teeth and refuse.Unexpectedly, in 2005, I couldn't help myself.
In 2004, I opened a garment processing factory with more than 30 people and specializes in processing clothes. Although there is only one customer, the orders are sufficient, and it only takes half a year to get the money to check out. In the first month of 2005, the customer sent a person to inspect and inspect goods to my factory, who was responsible for inspecting goods in my factory. This boy is closer to our hometown, only five kilometers away from the same village; he is from 1971, one year younger than me, and has never been married. He was very diligent and helped me when he saw that a woman, a woman, was too busy to do anything, and gradually became a good impression of me. One day, I suggested that I like me, but I didn't agree and scolded him and told him that I would not remarry.
Unexpectedly, my customer suddenly went bankrupt and the boss ran away. I didn’t get the payment for the goods for nine months. I went back to the time before the liberation and owed hundreds of thousands of debts. In the end, I had no choice but to sell all the equipment. Unexpectedly, he finally helped me recover nearly half of the payment for the goods through legal means. I am very grateful to him. My pursuit is not that strong, but I still don’t want to talk to each other in my heart and feel that my life is very hard. But he was like a mystery, he would not marry me, and he would be pestering me, no matter how the family members objected.
In 2006, we fell in love. This is my third marriage. We got married at the end of 2006, and my first boy with him was born in November 2007. We opened a supermarket. Although we didn’t make much money, we still didn’t lack money to spend. He is very diligent and has a good temper. He never scolds others, let alone D people. He and I had a second son in 2013. I was 43 years old that year. But I was still happy and thought I had found happiness.
But fate tricked people. Since 2015, he has been in a state of energy and powerless all day long. Later, I had uremia . This blow made me feel that the sky was about to collapse. There was no way to spend money on treatment. After six or seven years of treatment, the house was sold and the supermarket was transferred, but in March this year he died in the hospital. Now I am in debt and owed more than 300,000 yuan in debt.
I don't know what to do now? Only by returning to the garment job, earning four or five hundred yuan a day, I work odd jobs. Because the two children are underage, it takes a lot of money to study. Recalling the hardships of your life carefully.
The first marriage was due to my persistent divorce, which caused the two children not to be well trained, and they had no future in school early;
The second marriage was insulted and beaten, and even when the children grew up, they did not recognize me as a mother, saying they did not have a mother;
The third marriage left two children to be raised, and they still had a lot of debts.
I hope other sisters should learn from it and not pay attention to my mistakes!
