Author: Shuimuran
This article is selected from Shuimuran's new book "Awakening in the World"
Why are there too few true love in the world?
True love only occurs between two mature individuals, while 99% of people in society are immature giant babies, and the proportion of truly mature individuals is only 1%.
And the chance of two 1% meeting is one in ten thousand, which is why true love is so scarce.
Most of the love in society is just a series of accidents and tragedies caused by the mutual generation and restraint of two giant babies before, and then the series of accidents and tragedies.
There is a basic attribute in the giant baby crowd. Everyone is proving that they are right and everything is the most reasonable. In order to achieve this goal, we will even do our best to destroy each other, and then we can find a sense of existence and value.
This relationship is not only in marriage, but also in all human relationships, such as love, friendship, parent-child, workplace, etc. This is people's greatest obsession, and people can remain unswerving to death for this obsession.
Almost every intimate relationship between human beings, in the first cycle, it was actually a power struggle. What is fighting for is who is right and who is the most reasonable. Both sides emphasize my correctness, rationality, and importance, and then intentionally or unintentionally deny and suppress each other. The first stage of marriage is usually to complete this task, which often takes seven years, which is what we call " Seven Years Itch ".
After passing this level, the relationship begins to sublimate to a new level. If you cannot pass this level, the game will end.
Most of the people are ordinary people. They seem to be kind to each other, and they all love each other when they open their mouths and shut up. In fact, there are very few people who can truly become mature, because true love is only born between two mature individuals.
Marx said: People are the sum of all social relations. As long as you are still proving that you are right and as long as you are still reasoning with the other person, it means that you have not yet grasped the essence and essence of the relationship. Even if you make a move to win and prove that you are right, you will lose everyone.
Many people have been a giant baby all their lives, and their relationship must be immature. Therefore, many people have lived in power struggles for the rest of their lives and fought each other. Many couples have spent their entire lives to give bad reviews to each other. This kind of immature love for each other is tantamount to killing each other.
And this is the fate of ordinary people, and most relationships are a tragedy.
The proportion of mature individuals in society is only 1%, and the probability of two 1% meeting is one in ten thousand, which is why true love is so scarce.
2
Let’s think about another question:
Why do many people feel good when they are in love, but once they get married, there will be problems?
Because the essence of love is a " emotional " exchange, while the essence of marriage is a " value " exchange.
"Value" is something one dimension higher than "feeling". When is in love, you only need to rely on your feelings. Just make each other happy. However, once you get married, it depends on whether the marriage can last for a long time.
Therefore, when in love, appearance, figure, charm, fun, and even piano, chess, calligraphy and painting are the keys to attracting each other, but in marriage, all these will fail and become boring, because there is only value exchange in marriage.
Indeed, in family affection and love, loving someone will sacrifice for her and be loyal to him unconditionally. However, everyone should remember one sentence: any relationship, because as long as there is sacrifice, it means injustice.As long as there is something unfair in this world, it will be compensated in another place or in another form.
Many girls just see a man who can do whatever he wants to do for himself and choose the person who is best for him. However, the final result of this kind of love is often tragedy.
Because boys who made sacrifices will continue to pay for girls at the beginning, but when they reach a certain stage, they will ask the other party to compensate them in disguise, and invisibly have many demands on girls. Girls are often held hostage by boys' so-called sacrifices, and some extreme boys will even force each other to death.
The more developed the society's economy, the more independent people will become. This is no longer the era when who can die for themselves, or who needs to die for themselves.
Those lovers who just start saying they love you and say they are good for you. When they reach a certain stage, they often ask you to do this and that, or they cannot do anything. This is a disguised compensation.
In this world, no one has the obligation to be loyal to another person. All the loyalty of a person is evolving loyalty to value.
In the future, don’t expect someone to be loyal and dedicated to you unconditionally, unless you always have the value he wants to obtain. Once the value in you disappears, not only will the times abandon you, but the people around you will also abandon you, and the same is true for cooperation/love/marriage.
The most solid marriage relationship is as follows: is as clear as a comrade-in-arms; it is as even as a gang.
This sounds cruel, but it is the truth of the world. I often say: 99% of people live in illusions. They would rather deceive themselves than hide their ears than face the truth of the world, because the truth is too cruel. A person does not have enough courage and wisdom to accept it.
The world is becoming more and more mechanized. In this cold and noisy sound of machines, what you can really rely on is always yourself. Your happiness has nothing to do with anyone, including your so-called partner.
Last ShuimuranSummary of three sentences:
: Before you have no value, keeping yourself alone is a virtue.
2: True love is not about supporting each other, but about fulfilling each other;
3: Letting ourselves be full of value forever is our lifelong event.
The most rare thing in life is "sober in the world"
The master is profound and relaxed, and the mediocre are superficial and painful!
Please buy Shuimurran's new book "Awakening in the World"
