text/The rain without emotional intelligence
pic/Internet
it is indeed not easy for a man and a woman to be married. It is even more difficult for her to go through dozens of spring and autumn together.
Have you ever known that marriage has many instability, that is, if you can get married, you may get divorced.
Marriage is not easy, and it is difficult to manage well.
Choosing to divorce must be a heartbroken or disappointed, and no longer has any attachment to the other party. Only divorce is a kind of relief.
Some people also wait until they really divorced before they understand the real reason for the failure of their marriage. The 50-year-old man finally realized after his divorce: it turned out that it was all caused by himself.
No matter who it is, as long as you form your own small family, you will be happy. You will run around for your daily life for your own food, and you will enjoy it no matter how tired you are.
This is how Lao Zhao, who is already 50 years old, came here. He has been married to his wife Yunzhen for 26 years and has a very outstanding son, but just after his son got married, they divorced.
At that time, their divorce was a hot topic in the local area. Some people said that Yunzhen had an affair and didn’t know how to cherish it. She was not satisfied after finding such a diligent man, and she was not satisfied with her. She was lucky and would not enjoy it. Some people also said that Lao Zhao was not good, saying that he was long-winded, suspicious, and did not understand romance. She only knew how to do housework at work and could not make much money, and she could not give Yunzhen a rich life. What
is telling the truth. They have indeed lived an ordinary life for more than 20 years since their marriage. Their salary combined is only a few thousand yuan, and they can't save much money at all.
In fact, it is very common for the working class like them. As long as the couple is united and moral, they can live a brilliant life.
However, Lao Zhao had other plans in his mind, which made the couple quarrel and have a quarrel over this for a long time. For his son, Yunzhen kept holding back and waiting for the opportunity to separate from Lao Zhao completely.
So, as soon as their son got married, Yunzhen filed for divorce. Regardless of whether Lao Zhao agreed or not, the marriage would have to be divorced.
Lao Zhao was unwilling to divorce, but seeing Yunzhen's attitude was firm and said that he would go to court if he did not agree to the agreement to divorce. After more than two months of stalemate, the two ended their marriage for more than 20 years.
After the divorce, Lao Zhao moved to live with his parents. Whenever the night is late, I think back to the days I lived with Yun Zhen, and finally realized it. The real reasons for the divorce are these:
1. Too much value family affection
I am the eldest in the family, with a sister and two younger brothers below. My father works in another place, and my mother has no fixed job and makes money by doing odd jobs.
Since I became sensible, I have understood my mother's hard work and my younger siblings' unhappiness. At that time, I secretly told myself that when I grow up and make money, I must love them well.
After I started working, I handed the monthly salary to my mother as much as I wanted to spend money.
After getting married, I knew it was not suitable to hand over my salary to my mother, but I didn’t want to hand it over to Yunzhen and insisted on taking charge of it myself. Yunzhen has had many unhappy things with me about salary, but I still insist on taking charge of it.
The purpose of my doing this is not to not love my own home, but to give my parents more conveniently.
Over the years of marriage, I have given my parents more money than Yunzhen, and I have also helped my younger brother and sister. At this point, Yunzhen had a lot of opinions about me. When the quarrel, she shouted that I would live with my parents and younger siblings.
Now that I think about it, I shouldn’t do that. Family affection is important, but I should put my own home first.
Yunzhen was dissatisfied with me for a long time, and her heart was filled with resentment, which became the invisible fuse for our divorce.
2. Too satisfied with the status quo
I worked in the company. In those years, the company was in a downturn and often stopped production. I didn’t expect to go out to make money. I only do housework every day, and I felt that life was leisurely and satisfied.
Yunzhen asked me to go out and find something to do, but I thought she was nagging and said some sour words, and we often quarrel.
Later, I went to work again and the salary was not paid in time. The cost of buying things and son at home depends on Yunzhen.
Yunzhen called me a shameless person and didn’t look like a man. I angrily argued with him that the relationship between husband and wife has no longer had much heat.
I regret it now. If I had the spirit of other men, I wouldn’t say that I was developing, at least I would have lived a much stronger life. Yunzhen would not look down on me, let alone divorce.
3. Overestimate the relationship
Yunzhen and I got married only after we fell in love freely, and the relationship between them is still very deep. After getting married, no matter how noisy I made a fuss, I never thought about the word divorce, nor did I hear Yunzhen mention it. I always thought that people born in our era had traditional concepts and would not easily divorce anything.
Every time after a fight, I don’t take the initiative to communicate with Yunzhen, and Yunzhen doesn’t communicate with me. Sometimes, she even took the initiative to talk to me because of her son's affairs.
I always think this way, I am a man, no matter how much I can’t make money, I am also the head of the family, and Yunzhen will not make any trouble in front of me.
I even often suspect that Yunzhen has a good relationship outside. Whenever I see her contact with the opposite sex, I will sulk and make noise with her. I also disrespect her parents in revenge, and often make her unhappy.
Over time, Yunzhen felt resentful.
On the day of divorce, I saw Yun Zhen’s firm attitude and realized that I had long lost my place in her heart.
Marriage needs to be managed, and husband and wife's relationship also needs to be cultivated. If there is a next life, I will definitely keep the marriage with my heart.
was written at the end
Lao Zhao woke up like a dream after his divorce, it was too late.
Although both parties have responsibilities for a marriage, the responsibilities are different in size. If a man is incompetent and does what he wants only, his marriage life will not be very happy.
Entering marriage, the responsibility is heavy. You must not only make money to support your family, but also manage your marriage with care. Life is short, and it is not easy to live happily, so live with your heart and try not to leave any regrets for yourself.
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I am Rain without emotional intelligence, I love to write emotional texts, welcome to follow and leave comments.
