There is a post on Zhihu , which is unprecedentedly popular, with more than 2,000 related answers, which makes netizens quarrel. What kind of post is
that can trigger such a great amount of discussion?
Let us talk about it slowly.
The poster's wife had just finished giving birth, but the mother-in-law said that she would not be able to take care of the mother, and she asked her daughter-in-law and son to solve the problem by herself.
At this time, the mother-in-law felt sorry for her daughter and no one took care of her, so she proposed to give her 50,000 yuan to her daughter, asking her to go to the confinement center or hire an confinement nanny .
If you can’t contribute, you will pay. This is because your mother feels sorry for her daughter.
However, unexpected things have come.
After the mother-in-law learned about this, she volunteered to come and take care of her confinement.
And the mother-in-law asked her to give her 50,000 yuan.
Yes, you read that right, mother-in-law’s care is not free.
Her logic is this: no matter how rich people are, it is better to make money by asking someone.
However, there are more than just these things to be dramatic. The protagonist of the matter of
, the husband of the mother, actually felt that his biological mother's approach was very good and killed two birds with one stone.
My wife has received caring care, and he is more at ease to take care of his family; 50,000 yuan can make money from his own mother, but she will not be taken away by outsiders. This is a happy thing for everyone.
However, what he didn't understand was why the mother-in-law got angry after knowing this, saying that his mother was greedy, and the two eventually had a big fight.
So he posted his situation on Zhihu and asked everyone to comment.
But what he didn't expect was that after he posted his situation, he cursed in the comment area, and it was all the mother-in-law who stood in the side scolded her mother-in-law.
Some people say that my mother-in-law is really thick-skinned.
Someone sarcastic: the man’s family has noble blood and can earn money from his mother-in-law to give her face.
Some people also say that the mother is pitiful of her daughter and she is suffering, but she just forgets that she doesn’t take the money and doesn’t take care of her, but she still wants to calculate the money of her mother-in-law. This husband is too confused.
Mother-in-law is not scary in doing things. What’s scary is that her husband actually thinks it’s good and doesn’t realize what her problem is.
This is the most angering thing. How to evaluate this matter
?
Let’s talk about this mother-in-law first.
First of all, her daughter-in-law gave birth to a child and she was upgraded to grandma. This was a great joy.
Ordinary mother-in-law has money and can contribute to their strength.
The mother-in-law's attitude of "no matter to yourself" at the beginning can also be explained as: No matter which parent is from, helping is love, not helping is the duty ; taking care of the confinement period of a new mother is the husband's responsibility.
However, later when I heard that my mother-in-law wanted to pay, my mother-in-law's attitude was reversed and it was difficult to understand.
If the mother-in-law gave 50,000 yuan to the confinement center because her mother-in-law gave her 50,000 yuan, she said with great distress: "Don't go to the confinement center, I'll take care of her!"
This is a different consumption concept and does not involve character.
But she said she would give her 50,000 yuan and she would take care of her confinement period. Anyone who listened to it would feel uncomfortable.
This is one of them.
Secondly, the mother-in-law is willing to pay for her daughter to go to the confinement center or find a confinement nanny, just to give her daughter better care.
Nutritional meals, physical rehabilitation training, massage and care, psychological communication, entertainment projects... Although these services charge high, they can save money on worry.
And is my mother-in-law capable of doing better than this?
Source: Panoramic Vision
Moreover, the mother-in-law takes care of the confinement period. In addition to the differences in living habits and parenting philosophy, it is probably not easy for the daughter-in-law to send her mother-in-law too much. By then, the mother and the newborn will not be taken good care of, but the money will be taken away by the mother-in-law.
Some netizens said: Like mother, like son. The mother-in-law is so good at calculating, and her son is not a clear person.
If he is smarter, he should cherish his mother-in-law's efforts. After all, everything his mother-in-law does is to reduce the burden on the couple.
instead of doing what his mother wants money, the son not only does not stop him, but even feels that "killing two birds with one stone".
What you think is "killing two birds with one stone" should be that the wife gave birth to a fat boy for you, and the mother-in-law subsidized your family by 50,000 yuan. All the benefits are obtained by your family. This is the real "killing two birds with one stone".
In my opinion, not only should this mother-in-law be scolded by netizens, but this son is even more confused!
The wife gave birth to a child, but took the money from her mother-in-law to take care of her mother-in-law, not to mention that you should have paid the money.
Do you think it is natural for your mother to take care of her grandson for a paid time, so should the mother-in-law spend money to subsidize your family?
Step back ten thousand steps, if your mother insists on taking care of her daughter-in-law with the 50,000 yuan, can she pay attention to the spirit of contract with her according to the standards of a confinement nanny?
The nutritional combination of three meals is different, always staying away from the child, and not acting like a mother-in-law...
Until then, don't yell at your wife: "This is my mother, not your nanny, how can you treat her like this!"
Source: Panoramic Vision
In fact, after looking at the whole thing, I only regret the woman who just gave birth.
Becoming a mother was originally a happy thing, but she was so upset by her husband's family.
The husband who should be blamed the most in the whole incident.
At the critical moment, he did not stand on his wife's side at all, and never thought about it for his wife. Instead, he was muddled when his wife was most vulnerable and tried to pull out the wool of his mother-in-law in different ways.
It's really terrible to have a husband who can't figure out. They can't make decisions in the face of small things and big things. The future marriage may be full of contradictions and quarrels. Before
, a video of a doctor who confronted people received 300,000 likes.
A female patient fell in love, and her husband's family asked to get pregnant before getting married. He even asked that the boy must be born, otherwise he would not be able to enter his house.
Doctor was also very angry when he heard these requests:
"What kind of person is this? Where is such a mother-in-law in the world? Her son is quite outstanding and has a wealthy family, right?
"How do you find such a man? "
As soon as the video was posted, many netizens in the comment area criticized this mother-in-law.
But what I want to say is, is that the "invisible" husband not responsible?
From beginning to end, he made an informed and default request to his mother. He supports his mother's approach: not being pregnant, not getting married.
There is a saying that goes: The attitude of mother-in-law towards you is tacitly agreed by the husband.
Just imagine, if a husband does not allow his mother to disrespect his wife and does not allow his family to make excessive demands on her, then will the mother-in-law still dare to say things that are not pregnant or getting married?
The same is true for the above situation. The mother-in-law proposed to take 50,000 yuan from her mother-in-law to take care of her daughter-in-law. The husband immediately stood up and strongly opposed it. Will the mother-in-law insist on and have a big fight with her in front of her mother-in-law?
won't.
My husband protects you and puts your feelings first everywhere. The in-laws will naturally respect you and love you.
If your husband can’t do anything, he will only make you compromise. The in-laws will naturally look at the dishes, speak coldly to you, and even bully you and your mother’s family.
Therefore, the good and bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law ultimately refers to the relationship between husband and wife.
I hope all girls in the world can understand that if your mother-in-law treats you badly, the first thing you have to resent is not your mother-in-law, but to re-examine the relationship between husband and wife.
You should know that if it weren't for your husband, you wouldn't have anything to do with this mother-in-law in this life. He has the obligation and responsibility to let his family love and respect you.
So if you dig deeper, the essence of the problem is not the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but the relationship between you and your husband.
Maybe, some girls will explain that my husband just had such a mother, and he didn't agree with his mother, but there was nothing he could do.
No, he has a way.
Even if he can't completely change his mother's approach, when there is a conflict, he should stand on your side. There is absolutely no way to make family conflicts rise into a battle between two women as he said.
Source: Panoramic Vision
Some men are not absolutely bad. They may be filial to their parents, be kind to their brothers, but they just cannot take the feelings of their partner in their hearts, so that their wives can consume them in endless pain. A state like
is a chronic poison in marriage.
I am very disgusted with a statement, that is, when my wife counts the grievances she has suffered, the man said lightly, "It's all over, you should look forward."
For women, the harm cannot be easily forgotten.
She married you because she wanted to live a good life with you, not letting your family bully her or torture her. It is also a husband's responsibility to not let his wife suffer from these.
On October 6, Qingdao, Shandong.
A mother-in-law blamed her daughter-in-law for staying in bed and smashing pots and pans all over the floor.
After the son returned home, he saw this scene and asked his mother: "What does this mean?"
The mother-in-law began to accuse her daughter-in-law of being ignorant, not getting up early, and cooking for her parents-in-law.
The husband's words attracted netizens' praise.
He said:
"What does it have to do with you if she can't get up?"
"You two eat by yourself, eat as long as you want, and don't eat it!
"That's mine from my wife, it has nothing to do with you. We are naked, you didn't spend money!"
's words made my mother-in-law speechless, but it made people feel extremely comfortable.
I am not saying that if you marry a wife, you will have to turn against your mother.
But in the video, this mother-in-law was furious because her daughter-in-law was in bed and didn't cook for her. She obviously felt that her daughter-in-law was here to serve her.
There is a saying that goes: The so-called Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is a by-product of marriage.
It is true that the sharp mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is not universal in every family.
The key to the problem is that the husband is the most important point in connecting the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. If this man is confused, how can the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be normal?
So, many problems must return to the most core man.
A clear man can stabilize the hearts of two women.
A man with a positive outlook can maintain the order and morality that a family should have.
A marriage is actually a team.
If the people in the team lose their chains everywhere, they will eventually be a mess and the marriage will fall apart.
In fact, if you want to maintain your marriage well, there are not many tricks, just to put the relationship right.
Marriage relationship is first, followed by parent-child relationship and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
Source: Panoramic Vision
Whether parents or children, they can only accompany you for a ride.
couples are the people who have lived together for a lifetime.
You must cherish the person who stands by your side and fights side by side with you and works together for the rest of your life.
Reference source:
Zhihu
Douyin @Dr.LiuYi
Video number@Yimeng Evening News
Author: Mr. Table, Source: Table's View of Life (ID: zzdshg).
