The reader wrote to me and said:
My husband and I were high school classmates. At that time, he was my crush, because his appearance and height made me more obsessed. Because at that time I was a "good" student in the eyes of teachers and classmates, and my love for my husband could only be buried in my heart. Occasionally, I would go to the school playground to watch him play basketball.
After graduating from high school, we went to different cities to go to college. After graduating from college, I passed the civil servant in the city of growth, and my husband returned to our alma mater and became a physical education teacher. We met again at the dinner organized by our classmates, and then we added contact information. After that, we had a single line contact. In this relationship, I am more proactive. We started a romantic relationship after a few months of pulling and pulling.
During our relationship, some girls showed kindness to him, and he finally chose to marry me. I personally think that the main reason is that I have a stable job.
In a blink of an eye, my husband and I have been married for 3 years. During this period, my husband cheated twice. For the sake of my child, I chose to forgive him against my will. My husband's first cheating happened when I was 7 months pregnant; my husband's second cheating happened a few days ago.
The first time my husband cheated on was a netizen. I discovered their affairs by me peeking at my husband’s phone. At that time, my husband was afraid that I would get angry, so he no longer had any contact with netizens. In the next three or four months, my husband gave me more careful care. My husband cheated on him for the second time. A female colleague in his unit. Their affairs were reported to me by another classmate while they were caught by me. Faced with my strong condemnation, my husband promised me not to have any form of contact with the other party, but they are colleagues after all, and I was worried that their relationship would not be broken.
To be honest, my husband is still very handsome, but his appearance is not as attractive to me as when I was in school. It’s just for the sake of my children. I don’t have the courage to divorce now.
Muzili Emotional analysis:
What kind of path will a person take in this life have a more subtle relationship with his appearance, family background, knowledge, personality, and cultivation. When you went to school, you had good academic performance and your husband had good physical education, which made you successfully pass the civil service exam after entering society, and your husband also returned to your alma mater when he was in middle school and became a physical education teacher. This means that you all have relatively stable jobs. However, as a public official, you not only need to play your strengths in the professional field, but also need to pay attention to your image at the private life level. Once you do something that violates your professional ethics, you may lose your job. This is a more serious matter, not a joke, but many people only regret it after they really commit the crime.
When I was in high school, my physical education teacher was a handsome, humorous and smart man. But he did not follow the right path in the world, which led to him often performing teacher-student love with female classmates. Later, he also did some activities related to pyramid schemes. So when I graduated from college, the news from my classmates was that he was not only expelled from public office, but also sentenced to one and a half years of prison for some things. Later, I never heard of my physical education teacher again. To be honest, I, a physical education teacher, is definitely the best in the professional field, but his private life is really indecent, which has led to his original good future being ruined by himself. It is necessary to admit that this era, especially physical education teachers, once they look good, will not only be liked by their colleagues, but will even become the secret lover of young girls who are just beginning to fall in love.
The part about human nature can be seen relatively realistically in the online world: some people like to dry their private lives online, and some of them have their faces and figures. In the comment section where they post their private lives, you will see a lot of idiots, including not only girls, but also boys. It can be seen from this that when a person has a stable job, a reasonable family background and a good-looking face, in this era where too many people are brave enough to express their own opinions, it often becomes a hot commodity in the field of marriage and love. Even so, you need to remind yourself at all times: when you have a legal lover, you need to ensure your loyalty to your marriage.In this case, being ambiguous with the opposite sex or the same sex outside of marriage is an inappropriate behavior.
Although there will be a phenomenon of being willing to beat and being beaten in the emotional field, after the relationship between a married person and an unmarried person is exposed, the married person will often become the object of being criticized and condemned. Especially those who have stable jobs are likely to lose their jobs because of their inconsistent private life. In fact, it is very important for a person to live a lifelong platform. Once you leave the platform you are more good at and familiar with, you may not be so glamorous. For this reason, people should not be too at will in their private life. After all, in the adult world, everyone needs to pay the price for their actions. After all, no one can guarantee that the lover you meet outside of marriage will not retaliate against you when you make love and hate.
Measure cheating from another perspective: because love has uniqueness and exclusiveness, when your lover is a more traditional existence and runs your marriage life with a mentality of growing old together, if your cheating behavior is exposed by your lover, it will inevitably cause certain harm to the relationship between the couple. During this period, the reason why your lover chose to forgive may be that he still loves, or that he does not want his children to grow up in a divorced family, but the harm that your cheating itself will bring to your lover is there. In your future life, if you continue to be indecent in your private life, it is not ruled out that your lover will drive you out of the siege after being disappointed, and may even be reported by your legal lover with real name. At that time, can you blame your legal lover for being ruthless? You can only blame yourself for your own fault.
You should not be too selfish in life, especially after getting married and having children, you must take into account your lover and your child's feelings. After all, face and reputation are as important as reputation throughout one’s life. If one day, because of your indecisive private life, you will eventually become the object of despised by too many people around you. At this time, do you still feel that you are extremely charming when you are provoked by many flowers and plants? In this era of judging heroes by money, if you have average money-making ability or don’t have a career that is respected, you will eventually end up being looked down upon by many people. You should know that time is a killer. Your glamorous appearance cannot make you show off for the rest of your life, especially when you reach middle age, you still need to rely on your strength to win more respect for yourself.
Postscript:
This life is divided into three stages: from birth to going to society, people will basically live under the protection of their parents; from work to retirement, they need to strive for the so-called circle for themselves through hard work at the career level, or gain more respect, or be looked down upon by more people; after they are over 60, they may care more about whether they are healthy. To this end, do what you should do at different stages of your life.
I once saw a joke like this: A woman and her ex met on the street by chance. The woman asked the man, how many girlfriends have you dated after we broke up? The man told the woman that he had dated one. The woman said in a more contemptuous tone, "You are really useless. After I broke up with you, I have dated three or four boyfriends." The man said calmly, I'm getting married. At this time, it was a girl who felt sour. Have you noticed: Don’t compete with the number of dating partners, compare the sincerity.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
