I have insomnia! A little aggrieved.
Mom called me in the evening, and I called me "Mom". She said it alone on the phone. I just happened to eat the noodles I made, and I was not in the mood to eat them.
As soon as she opened her mouth, she said if you still have me as a mother in your eyes, and she didn't call me for ten days and half a month. Other people's daughter calls every day, and even if she stops water, she has to call her mother. He said that the daughter she gave birth to was not worried about her, as if she had no mother.
listen, but you can't be anxious with her. Just answer! I know, pay attention next time and don’t make her angry.
It’s not that I don’t want to call her, nor do I don’t want to be with her. Because I am with her, 9 and a half of the 10 sentences are inseparable from my sister. Because I don't want her to always think of her, after all, she is no longer here. No matter how I find other topics, she just surrounds this topic. She always cried and felt sorry for her. No matter how I comfort her, I couldn't do it. I cried every time, so I was afraid to be with my mother face to face or make a phone call. After all, one is my mother and the other is my sister, and both of them feel distressed. It is enough for those who leave, and cherish those who are alive.
Plus I owe so much money, and I have a lot of harassment calls and often harass my family. My mother said that there were several strange calls looking for me today. She was always worried about me and whether she would arrest me and lock me up, and they were powerless.
Then I was worried about my emotional matters and said that I had been divorced for several years. What exactly is my mind? She wants to know me, whether I have met a suitable one, and whether there is one that can be together. I told her three words "break up", and then she kept asking me, not wanting to say it.
I don’t want to tell her my worries, which will make her even more annoyed. I can only choose to take on everything alone, and I want to accompany her if I feel better. I can't let her see that I'm unhappy. It was not easy for mothers to lose a daughter. I can't make her feel even worse because of me.
Finally she was very angry and said why I didn't tell her anything. Why can’t even mother say that she is treated as an outsider? She said that you will piss me to death sooner or later, anyway, she will have half her life left. Why! It's really hard for me. I love her and I love her. So I don't want to tell her what I'm not happy about. I just want to take on everything alone, and I will heal myself silently. I have my own business and will tell her one day.
Maybe my personality is really bad! Always love and protect someone in the way you think you are right. But maybe others don’t need me in this way and want to communicate with me. I always think that others will accept me this way.
Maybe it’s because I lack a sense of security! If you think too much and think for a long time, you will feel like you are worried about nothing. I long for others to treat me like this in my way and arrange everything for me, as if no one understands me. Including my mother, she only knew that I didn't tell her anything. But I forgot that I actually have my own difficulties. In fact, I don’t tell them, I am protecting them and loving them.
is now 3:27 in the middle of the night. My eyes hurt and I don't want to sleep. I felt like my mother was crying again today, and I disappointed her again. I also want to go back to the once me, the sunny and happy me. My mother used to say that I am a pig, and I know how to eat and sleep and eat after sleeping. I said I didn’t worry at all, but now I thought about it so happy before!
I didn't go to her house during this period, just because I couldn't let her know that I was sick. I am a person who has tears in my eyes. When my family cares about me, or makes me feel moved by the scene, I will cry. So this period is my sensitive period , so I can't meet and make phone calls with her. Every time I say that I have lost weight, eat more. Look at other people's girls, they are fat and fat. Then
see if I am as thin as a chopstick. In her eyes, I am ugly, and others are fat and beautiful. In the end, there was no choice but to get me money and pack the delicious food at home for me to take home.
I have to eat chicken legs every time I make soup, and I also have to eat meat hard. My sister said that the treatment of the second daughter is different when she comes.My mother said, don’t eat so , succulent , you are so fat, so let me eat more. Every time my sister said that she felt that she was not born by her mother, and she gave her delicious food to my sister.
In fact, my mother just needs a phone call and sometimes accompany her. I know all of this, because my mentality has not been adjusted. It was my fault that implicated everyone who loved me.
