Recently, a student came to tell me a question: "Teacher, when my husband and I were watching the news, they were moved by a news about a sick couple. Then I asked him, if I was sick, would I take care of me all my life?
As a result, he hesitated. If he was sick, I would definitely take care of him without hesitation. Why did he hesitate so much? Is he unreliable?"
We often say that There is an essential difference between male thinking and female thinking. Men are rational animals, while women are emotional mothers.
In love, women are often more emotional and self-centered, and will subconsciously feel that unreasonable trouble is a woman's right. If a man loves himself, he should unconditionally accept his shortcomings and willfulness.
This is the misunderstanding of women's understanding of men . They like to judge men based on their own female thinking. This will not only not make men treat you well, but will make men feel that you are making unreasonable things, which will make each other's relationship go further and further.
Then how should we understand men? Today, the talented man will talk to you about How do men view love?
: Men’s rational thinking in love
The difference between men and women’s view and dealing with things in intimate relationships is the main cause of contradictions. Women pay attention to emotions and experience, while men pay attention to results and pros and cons .
Give a very typical example: a woman complains to a man, "I am so annoyed today. A new colleague from the company came to me and I was so in trouble with him."
At this time, what the woman wants is a man to complain with her, complain, and vent her negative emotions.
But most men's reply was "Do you have some problems with the way of communication with him? Otherwise, you apply for a change of personal connection with your leader? If you are unhappy, change a job, and make money, I will still be fine!"
Women will be very depressed when they hear these words. They just want to complain, not to seek solutions, nor do they want to quit. Gradually, the woman didn't want to talk to the man if she had anything to do, and the gap between the two people emerged.
In a man's mind, he protects your behavior when solving problems. Only by finding out the problem and solving it can you not worry about this matter and no longer be wronged. Of course, its starting point is good .
In the face of this situation, what we should do is to express our understanding of his behavior, affirm his importance to you, and then tell him that you just want to complain, and it is not impossible to solve this problem.
If you say "You don't have to worry about my business" at this time, his mood will definitely be very bad because you are denying his efforts to you.
: Men need to be appreciated
Before, a fan consulted me and said, "Boyfriends are sometimes very childish and are as unreasonable as a child, and I have to coax him."
Everyone says that men are teenagers until death, and men in love have directly regressed to childhood. In fact, just like many women hope that their partner can spoil themselves as their daughter, men also need it. No matter how old a man is, he will have a childish side in front of the person he likes.
Men also have weak side . When they are faced with pressure and helplessness, they also need to be warm embrace from their lover . Even though he was greatly wronged outside, his lover's hug made him know that someone had been with him all the time.
Men are really like children. They will act spoiled when they encounter difficulties and hope to get your encouragement; when they complete their work well, they also hope to hear your praise and praise; when they achieve success, they also hope that you can be proud of him.
We determine our value to our loved ones because of the recognition of our beloved, so we praise our lover more and recognize the value of our loved ones .
Men mainly hope that their value and efforts can be recognized by women, so that men can feel that they are valuable and can gain a sense of accomplishment.
But in real life, women are often used to accuse men of not doing anything well and are unwilling to give. This will give men a sense that if they are disliked and do not do well, they will start to avoid, stay away from them, and finally lie flat and let you nag, and I will remain unmoved.
For example, when he completes your project, you can invite him out for a meal to celebrate. When he cleans the house very well, praise his hard work and dedication to the home; when he gives you a gift, you praise him for his intention to you.
Recognition of men will make men feel satisfied , making them feel that their value is seen and their efforts are recognized. They will be more willing to be nice to you, love you more, and cannot live without you.
3: Men like independent partners
Before, a psychology writer said: "What is a good marriage? If you are two people, just pretend that they have never gotten married" .
The wife doesn’t have to quit her job and stay in the kitchen all day. She can have her own interests and hobbies and knows how to dress up and play with her sisters. The husband doesn’t have to treat himself as a money-making machine. He can watch football games in the middle of the night and invites friends to drink and play basketball.
What is a happy marriage? is that two people have their own lives. Although it is inevitable to invest time and energy to run this small family after marriage, the family is not a burden. It should not make us tired. We still have independent space to enjoy life.
There was a student's consultation story before, which was like this. : After the child was born, she quit her job and focused on taking care of the child. She needed to organize housework and educate the child every day. The husband often went out for social activities because of work. Once she complained to her husband, "I know how to go out for social activities and drink every day. Do you care about the child for a day?"
Her original intention was to hope that her husband would understand her and go to social activities less, but her husband blamed her: "You think I want to go, but I don't go out to make money, and the whole family is waiting to drink the northwest wind."
This is to take the concept of "home" too seriously . Marriage is not a set of tasks that must be completed according to standards. We must allow everyone's marriage to be different. A wife does not have to know how to cook and take care of children, and a husband does not have to do work that he doesn't like for the sake of his family.
The important thing in marriage is the "self", and the romance of marriage is based on self-love. Men like independent women, and men who love you also hope that you are free and happy, rather than giving up your original self for him.
Know yourself and your enemy, and you will win every battle. When we understand what love a man needs, there will be no big problems when we get along with each other.
