1
In the autumn of 2016, when I was going home to celebrate my mother's birthday, I accidentally met a junior high school classmate and talked about her previous student life. He told me that my classmates had built a classmate group, and many of the classmates in it asked me, but I've been married far away and can't get in touch. He asked me if I want to join the group. Is this still necessary? Of course, I was a little excited at the time. After twenty years, students who have lost contact for so many years can not only contact a group today, but also have a group, which makes me feel a little bit like finding an organization.
So I was very happy to join the group. I was excited to see the names I once knew in the group. It seemed like I was back to my youthful years in school. Everyone was having a lot of fun in the group! I still feel unsatisfied when I lay in bed at night.
At this time, I received a message from my deskmate Huiqing, who was my deskmate. When we were in school, we were both deskmates and had a good relationship. She was in trouble at that time and dropped out of school before she finished her junior high school for a year. I heard that she went to work in Xi'an. At that time, communication was underdeveloped and she never contacted her again after she was separated.
Slowly, I talked to her about their respective lives over the years, and she told me what made her feel depressed for a long time.
2
Things have to start after she dropped out of school. After she did not study, she was introduced by the villagers and asked her to marry to Xi'an.
Xi'an is the capital of our Shaanxi Province, and our hometown is just an inconspicuous small city in Shaanxi. In our eyes, Xi'an is a big place and a symbol of prosperity. Many girls are proud to be able to marry into Xi'an.
She was only fifteen or sixteen years old at that time, and she just came out of school. She was very simple. Although she married to Xi'an, she was not lucky. The boy introduced by the matchmaker was about ten years older than her. At that time, she was two. The young man in his fifteenth and sixteenth is considered an older young man.
Because she is not yet legally married, her family said she went to work in Xi'an. Originally, a newlywed should be a happy thing, but she encountered the most embarrassing thing on her wedding night. Although the groom looks like a normal man, she is inhumane. Although she is only fifteen or sixteen years old, she is just before she goes out (before getting married). ) Before, her mother spread the things between men and women for her.
In addition to being embarrassed, afraid, and disappointed, her mother once told her about men and women, and also said how children should come. Her husband's sexual incompetence is destined to have no children in the future, and she doesn't want to do this with People live their lives, and live their hopeless lives.
So she wanted to go home because she was young and had not yet obtained an marriage certificate , so she was going to sneak away. However, when she went in and out, her mother-in-law ordered her sister-in-law to follow her. The mother-in-law's meaning was very obvious, just to be on guard against her. After almost half a month, my sister-in-law relaxed her vigilance because she was young and playful, so she had the chance to escape.
had no money to buy tickets and went home. She went directly to the Public Security Bureau and lied that she ran away from home because of a quarrel with her family. Now she knew she was wrong and wanted to go home but had no money to buy tickets. She asked the police to call her home. Come and pick her up. The police called Murakami when she saw that she was really old, and the next day her mother rushed to Xi'an to pick her up.
The family of the in-laws also found this place quickly. After a quarrel, under the mediation of the police, the in-laws paid the fare to send them home. Her first marriage ended in failure, and the villagers didn't know about her. I had married someone, but I didn’t offer a bride price at that time, and I couldn’t get a marriage certificate even if I was young, and I didn’t have a drink, so this matter passed silently.
3But things were over on the surface, but in fact they didn't. First of all, when her mother found her in-laws, the standards were much lower than the previous requirements, which made her very wronged and helpless. Soon after, she was passed away by others. I introduced my current husband.
My current husband is twelve years older than her, and he was a little thirty when he married her. The wife he married before had a child and had a corpse and two lives. He had three brothers in his family, his father passed away, and there was an old mother in the family. , and the geographical conditions were poor, living in the mountains. Her mother would agree to this marriage because the man agreed to buy land and build a house in their village, which was like a son-in-law.
So she got married just one month after knowing each other. She was a real flash marriage. After marriage, she started to build a house. The house was built for several months. When it was almost finished, she became pregnant. She was seventeen years old at the time.
Because building a house emptied her husband's savings, and she needed money to have children, her new house was on the same road as her mother, so her husband asked her mother to help take care of her, so she went to Zhejiang to work and make money Go.
Ten months pregnant once gave birth, and she gave birth to her son when she was almost eighteen years old. From pregnancy to giving birth, her husband has been in Zhejiang for the past few years and only came back during the holidays, and she has been at home. From the time they met to getting married, and then to the time when their children were born, they didn't really spend much time together. Finally, they waited until their son quit breastfeeding and walked. She also became an adult. She applied for an ID card and asked her mother to help take care of the child, she and her husband. We went to Zhejiang to work together.
This is the real mutual understanding and understanding, because the age difference is one round, there is a generation gap between the two people, and the way of speaking is different. The two people often have conflicts. After getting along, they find that the two people have complete personalities. If she couldn't get along, she thought her husband was too dull and didn't know how to care about her. Her husband thought she was too naive, ignorant, and often spent money randomly.
4Finally, her husband didn't want the two to continue arguing, so he found another job, dozens of kilometers away from her, and it took about an hour to get there by car. After six months of working, they became a couple on weekends. Her husband came to her for one night after the weekend, and she felt it was boring after a long time.
She said that her husband came here every weekend for the main purpose of the couple. She did not ask whether she worked hard or not at work or how her children were doing in her hometown. She saw that her husband was neither salty nor indifferent. She was too lazy to care about it, and she just spent a few years indifferently.
When she was twenty-seven years old, her husband fell ill. At first, it was kidney stones . Later, after a general examination, he found that he had three highs, fatty liver, and stones. The doctor told me to rest more and not to be able to rest. Too tired, you have to control the matter between husband and wife.
Now my husband hasn't even come to the weekend. He can't see him once a month, and the two of them don't contact each other. In her words, if she doesn't want to transfer her son every month, she will have to pay for her to pay her salary. I almost forgot that I have a husband.
Time will not be suspended because of a person's misfortune. Her life will be slow. From elementary school to junior high school to high school, she sends living expenses to the children at home on time every month, because they are married and wife The two spent less time with their children outside all year round, and the children were not particularly close to them. The family of three lived in three places and could only be reunited for a few days during the Spring Festival.
Her husband gives her five thousand yuan a month, and doesn't care about anything else. She doesn't know how much her husband's salary is, nor how much she has left after the 5 thousand yuan she gives her. She once asked, her husband's answer was Tell her not to worry about it. Anyway, she just needs to give her money every month. Later, she accidentally heard a fellow villager say that her husband earns about 10,000 yuan a month, so she asked casually that he still has so much money every month. Her husband ignored her if she had any deposits in her hand.
She asked me, is it the same for other couples when they are old? I don’t know how to answer her, so I can only comfort her and say, “Every couple gets along differently. The most important thing for two people to be together is to care for each other, take care of each other and understand each other."
In fact, it is indeed a bit abnormal like the couple. I suggested that she find a job near her husband. She is old and has matured her mind. The two of them should not quarrel frequently when they are together.
5But she said Now her relationship with her husband is even worse. Every time she sees him, she wants to quarrel with him. Maybe it is because her husband's indifference to her, which makes her feel that she is very failed. So in order to find a sense of existence, she always meets her every time she meets her. It was a fight with him, and what she said became increasingly ugly. It was hard to hear her husband say that she was vulgar, unquality, and uneducated. The two even fought (although she beat her husband unilaterally), her husband's Silently endure is equivalent to cold violence. She became more and more irritable.
Another one, she said she worked well here and didn't want to change jobs. Although she was not very educated, she became a supervisor with many years of work experience and was treated in all aspects. It's pretty good. Social security is only two or three years away from the time of fifteen years. If you change your job now, it's like everything starting from scratch. She doesn't want to give up her job.
It seems that she has become accustomed to being alone in the past few years. She doesn't have to be with her husband. When we said this, we said good night to each other. We haven't chatted for several months since then, but suddenly One day she called me and said she wanted to get a divorce and wanted to buy a house in her hometown, which surprised me.
It turned out that her son was admitted to university, which is said to be a good thing. It’s just that no one lives in the house in my hometown. Her husband wanted his mother and his brother to move to her house, but she disagreed. Her husband said that the house was built by him and she couldn’t control it. She said that the land belonged to her house. At that time, I only gave a few thousand yuan symbolically. Besides, the homestead use rights was in her name. For this matter, the two people made a divorce, saying that they could buy the house and earn money, two people, one and one and one and half of the money.
My intuition is not that simple, and later she said hesitantly that the couple had not had a husband and wife for ten years. She has been 28 to now 38 years old, and she doesn't want to live such a life anymore , she is a normal woman, and she has It is normal, and she has read a lot of books on this aspect, saying that women are prone to illness in their uterus in the long run.
Her husband has been lukewarm with her for so many years. She is sick and painful and no one is around to take care of her. Now The child is in college, and she doesn't want to continue like this.
Finally, she said that there was a classmate in the class group who could chat with her very much. That classmate has never been married because she once had a girlfriend and had been talking for eight years. When his girlfriend was about to get married, she fell in love with her. He was older and his financial ability was average, so he couldn't find a suitable one and could only stay alone.
I see what she meant. Both of them should be interested in each other, so I reminded her that even if I want to find it again, I have to deal with the matter. Of course, I believe that the two of them have no actual cheating, because one is in Ningbo, Zhejiang. When I go to work, I work in my hometown in Shaanxi, and I can’t even see you.
6
As for the house, I asked her to talk to her son to see what his son thinks. After all, if the house is gone, there will be no place to settle down when the child comes back in the future, and the matter will be put on hold.
Later, she told me intermittently that his husband did not agree to the divorce, and his son did not agree to sell the house. Her husband did not give in to the matter of his mother-in-law and uncle who moved to their house.
She said that life covers her like a net, making her feel deserted and lonely, painful and depressing. As for the follow-up between her and that old classmate, I have never asked about it again.
But from time to time she will ask me what she will do in the future? Will she just spend the rest of her life like this? I want to divorce and change, but I don’t have the courage. Should I continue such a marriage? I could only listen like this, nothing could help her, so I could only sigh. (End)
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