The son-in-law came to the house and had nothing to eat. Is this still happening now?
On August 16, 2022, a man from Bijie, Guizhou, in the video, when he took the bowl to the table, the dishes on the table were all bottomed out.
He not only wiped away tears three or five times, but lamented that he had been in this family for seven years, what hope did he have in such a life?
Many netizens also commented: Have you done anything to disgrace your family?
Some netizens also spoke righteously: How can such a marriage be maintained? Get divorced as soon as possible.
However, in an interview with the media, he replied that he still loves his wife and does not plan to divorce.
Then why did he post this video? What is the truth of the matter?
01 Falling in love at first sight, becoming a door-to-door son-in-law
The story started 7 years ago.
Mr. Zeng is 26 years old and has reached the age of marriage, and friends around him kindly introduced him.
When two people met for the first time, he saw that the girl was pretty and had a nice voice. She seemed to be gentle and virtuous. When the girl saw him, she smiled shyly and said that they could continue to interact with her.
went out to eat and play together. He helped the girl carry her bags and take photos, and the girl handed him paper to wipe his sweat. They felt the sweetness brought by each other.
They both plan to get married, so they slowly get to know each other's family situations. Mr. Zeng is the second eldest child in the family. He also has an older sister, younger sister and younger brother. The girl has 6 sisters in her family and no boys.
The girl told him that her parents did not allow her to marry far away and wanted him to be their son-in-law.
At first, Mr. Zeng didn’t agree. After all, the son-in-law who came to visit would have to leave his home and live with the woman. Although he hesitated, the girl kept repeating that this was what her parents said, and if they didn't agree, they would have to separate.
He thought about it over and over again, looking at the girl he had been with day and night in front of him, and it was really impossible to break up immediately. In the end, he could only do his parents' job, and then became a door-to-door son-in-law for love.
The two entered the marriage hall. Just when he thought everything would be the same as when they were in love, the daily necessities of life awakened him.
After getting married, he opened a barber shop, but the local living standard was relatively limited, and there were several competing shops on one street, so he did not have an advantage.
My wife saw that the store was not busy, so she came every day from the beginning, and later she would not come once a month.
Sometimes, he and his wife said: "You have nothing to do at home, so go to the store to accompany me, and I will help you wash your hair when the customers come."
At this time, his wife was completely different from the gentle and considerate person she was at the beginning: "You go ahead and help me wash my hair." That shop doesn't make any money, so I might as well find a few people to play mahjong there."
The father-in-law and mother-in-law beside him didn't say anything, but their expressions were serious. He didn't say anything more, but he felt a little aggrieved.
At that time, he also felt that he was worthless and the store was not running well, so it was natural for his wife not to go there. But he never imagined that this was just the beginning.
02 "Mama's Baby" Wife, Only 30 Yuan
After a few years of marriage, my wife became pregnant.
As long as his wife wants to eat, even if he works late, he will cook immediately when he comes back. Mr. Zeng responds to his wife's every request. Because if his wife is slightly dissatisfied, his mother-in-law will immediately scold him for not being able to take care of others.
Sometimes he would have a look of helplessness on his face. He originally wanted to wait for his wife's comfort. But the wife said: "My mother said that you, the husband, should do these things. What can you feel wronged about?"
Since he was the son-in-law, the father-in-law and mother-in-law were not even allowed to take his child's surname. He felt uncomfortable and wanted his wife to discuss it with his father-in-law and mother-in-law, but his wife had no opinion at all and obeyed his parents' arrangements for everything.
He also felt more and more that his wife was a "mom's baby" who had no independent opinions on everything and obeyed her mother-in-law's words.
In order to give his child a better life after birth, he stays in the store until after 11 o'clock every night, waiting for customers who may come to have their hair cut.
When he got home, he originally wanted to have a hot meal, but when he took the bowl, the meal had already reached the bottom. He felt cold in his heart, but he also felt that he was hopeless and had no confidence in speaking.
As the children grow up, my wife has more and more demands.He worked all day during the day and was exhausted, but when he got home, he couldn't even eat a mouthful of hot food. He had to feed the child milk powder and coax the child in the middle of the night. He even had to hand over all the wages he earned.
At the beginning, he understood that it was not easy for his wife to give birth to a child, and he accepted everything as ordered. One day, the child burst into tears because the child next door was holding a toy car and wanted to play with it.
He wanted to go to the supermarket and buy one for his child, but when he arrived at the supermarket, he had only 30 yuan to spare, which was not enough to buy a toy car. This made him very embarrassed, so he asked the store clerk to keep the toys and go home to get the money.
originally wanted to see if there was a bank card in the drawer and bind his mobile phone to withdraw some money when he got home. However, his father-in-law and mother-in-law scolded him for this move, saying that men would do no good if they took money.
All the bank cards at home are kept by the father-in-law and mother-in-law, and the wife also kept silent: "My mother said that if a man has money, something will happen to him. If he eats at home every day, why do you want money?"
Mr. Zeng looked helpless, and he and his wife What he said was told by his wife to her father-in-law and mother-in-law without missing a word.
This made his subsequent life even more difficult. He had to take care of his children all by himself from some unknown time. His wife often went out to play (play mahjong) and only came back once every half month.
When his wife came back, he discussed with her whether he should go out to work and save some money for his children. But the wife said that making money is a man's business, and she didn't agree, so the matter was settled.
Now that the child is 3 and a half years old, excluding the rent, water and electricity bills, the barber shop is not even enough to cover the family’s living expenses.
The child has become even more dependent on him. Sometimes his wife takes the child with him, and the child keeps crying and cannot be coaxed well. He looked distressed, so he took it himself.
On this point, his wife would often praise Mr. Zeng for taking care of the children well, which was reassuring.
This also gave Mr. Zeng a warm feeling in his heart, and he felt that everything he had paid was worth it. After all, in his eyes, his wife and children are the most important, and it doesn't matter if he is miserable or tired.
03 was guarded and could only cry in the video
The good times did not last long. He thought that he would be recognized for working so hard.
In addition to taking care of the children every day, sometimes I also have to do laundry and cooking when I get home.
Due to the lack of water in the local area, we have to fetch several days' worth of water every morning. One time he used too much for cooking, and his parents-in-law scolded him for being wasteful.
He felt that he just used more water, but he didn't do a lot of work every day, so he didn't blame himself all the time. He went to his wife to reason and complain.
As a result, his wife said that he was ignorant. He immediately got angry and ran away from home.
After his wife left, his father-in-law and father-in-law didn’t even care about him when he was eating. They monitored him everywhere and were on guard.
The more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable he became, feeling that he had not even received the most basic respect.
The only thing he wants to do is to move out as soon as he makes money.
His wife has been away for a month, so he no longer dares to quarrel with her rashly. After all, the child needs a mother.
He also felt deep down that he still loved his wife.
So I can only post videos and find an outlet to vent, otherwise I feel like I am about to collapse.
In the video, you can see the beginning scene, and a 33-year-old man wiping his tears with tissues several times.
Many netizens commented: It hurts to see that it is not easy to be a son-in-law. I advise him to make money as soon as possible so that he can stop being angry.
04 Only love one person in your life, solve problems when you have problems
There are more and more people commenting, and this video has become a hot search.
Jiupai News A reporter even interviewed him. Faced with the reporter’s sharp interview, we became more aware of the true nature of the matter.
The reporter asked them why their relationship broke down and whether they still felt happy?
He also expressed his psychological feelings very frankly: "It's probably because I didn't make any money, and my days were filled with daily necessities. But I still love my wife very much. I cook, wash, and take care of the children at home, and I don't complain much. But does she? Feeling happy, I don’t know this, and I haven’t asked about it."
reporter did not stop asking: "Have you ever thought about divorce?
He said: "I have no plans to divorce. My concept is relatively conservative. Now that I am married, I will identify with this person for the rest of my life." If there are difficulties, overcome them. Maybe marriage is like this, and every family has its own hard-to-recite sutras. "
The reporter asked the most critical question: " Why do you still post these videos if you don't want a divorce? "
He said: "I don't have many friends around me, and I don't dare to tell my family about this kind of thing. I feel so uncomfortable. If I don't think of a solution, I will become depressed. I only posted the video to express my emotions and hope that people who have gone through the same experience can comfort each other. There is no other intention. "
" If you send it out, won't your wife see it? Don't we still have to quarrel? "The reporter said.
"No, she always said I was naive and embarrassing before I posted the video. Later, when I posted the video again, I blocked her. "He said with certainty.
Now, Mr. Zeng is not divorced.
Because he has his own ideas and beliefs: he will only love one person in his life, and he will solve any difficulties.
It is not uncommon for a son-in-law to come to his door. He has no problem facing conflicts between husband and wife. I want to give him a thumbs up for settling it with divorce
after all. In divorce, children are the first victims.
But for unfair treatment, like many netizens, I hope that he can become stronger and communicate with his wife and family on an equal footing, without caring about the children's surnames or doing housework. , I don’t care about my wife’s “Mama’s baby”, but the husband and wife are in the same boat, and we still have to fight for the most basic respect.
Otherwise, this is the case. If this kind of emotion persists for a long time, it will sooner or later become a time bomb for yourself and the people around you. At that time, I am afraid it will be even more painful.
05 Conclusion
Whether it is in movies or TV series or in real life, "mama's boy" is mentioned. Sometimes, most people are afraid to stay away from them. Another group that is often ignored is "mama's girls", who are essentially the same as mama's boys. Same.
They will all have a very controlling mother and a soft-spoken father. In the "captivity" of their native families, girls will have no opinions and take their parents' words as their will in everything.
My mother said. , my dad said, it has become a mantra in a subtle way.
read a sentence online: "A good marriage is when each person separates from his or her family of origin." "
If you meet a mom's baby, there will be no boundaries in marriage. As a partner, you will feel that you are dating a whole family, which will become more and more tiring.
This is the case for Mr. Zeng. If Mr. Zeng and Mr. Zeng were wronged at the first moment, Wife and father-in-law Will the outcome be different if the mother shows up instead of repeatedly giving in?
In addition, if you can't stand the extreme control brought by the woman or the man's family, you should pay more attention to avoid falling in love for a long time. end.
and Stopping losses at the right time is also a kind of wisdom for adults.
Reference:
Jiupai News: "A man from Guizhou has been a door-to-door son-in-law for 7 years. He cried out in grievance: he was guarded against everywhere, and his body was never affected." Not more than 30 yuan”
Jiupai News: “Conversation with the son-in-law who has been visiting Guizhou for 17 years: I can’t take my child with him, and I can’t serve food to the table”
Author: Qiu Shui
Editor: Tutu
