Text | But after getting married, I realized that no matter how passionate the relationship is, it has to bow to daily necessities and family trivialities.
Many feelings, not lost to love, but lost to the scraps of chickens and dogs everywhere.
After careful analysis, it is not that we are not good enough, nor that we do not love enough, but that there are several hurdles after marriage. Some people directly cross them and usher in a lifetime of happiness; some people suffer from these hurdles but never You can get what you want.
has this sentence: "Marriage is not the tomb of love, but a lifelong commitment to love each other. Compared with love, marriage requires more rational thinking. Only by adhering to the commitment to each other can the flower of marriage bloom as new. ”
Marriage is not a matter of muddle along, but requires careful management in order to be happy. But no matter how happy a marriage is, there are transitions from unfamiliarity to familiarity, and from loneliness to happiness.
There are three special periods in marriage. If you can't survive it, you won't be able to live a lifetime.
01
No. 1: Two years after marriage
Many people think that marriage lasts a lifetime and they will always be happy, but this is not the case.
Two years after marriage is an emotional transition period. If it is handled well, things will go smoothly in the future. If it is not handled well, divorce will be an inevitable choice.
Bo Yang said: "More than half of the things between husband and wife are not open to outsiders. They have their own secrets and their own solutions to problems. Outsiders don't know the inside story, so it's best not to interfere."
In the past two years, many couples have been unable to keep their tempers, and have become tired of covering up bad habits. What they show to each other in life is the bad side.
The same is true for the other party, but people are naturally disgusted with bad habits and cannot accept them. Both sides dislike each other, and of course life will be unhappy.
In fact, the main reason why there will be quarrels and anger in the two years after marriage is that both parties keep arguing with each other about their shortcomings. In fact, it is completely unnecessary.
Since you have chosen the other person, you must accept his strengths and weaknesses. Don't spend money in marriage, and have more love. If two people work together to manage their lives well, life will definitely come true for you.
Piano Prince Lang Lang and Gina are in a cross-border relationship. Gina is 12 years younger than Lang Lang. Their relationship was not favored by Lang Lang's parents at first. They were worried that Gina would use marriage as a test subject and turn away if she was unlucky.
However, Gina and Lang Lang have been in love for a while and know each other well. Lang Lang had a good grasp on Gina, saying that Gina was excellent and sensible, not what her parents thought.
Later, after many contacts, Lang Lang's parents recognized that Gina was a good girl and asked the two to get married as soon as possible.
After two people got married, they also fell into a running-in period.
Sometimes, after Lang Lang comes back from a performance, he lies in bed and wants to have a good sleep. However, Gina was pulling her ears and hair, which made Lang Lang feel very annoyed.
Sometimes, after Gina finished her performance, many of Lang Lang's friends praised Gina for speaking Chinese very well, but Lang Lang said she was just average, which made Gina very angry.
There are so many trivial matters in life that the relationship between the two people once fell into an embarrassing situation. Later, Gina was so sad that she told Lang Lang's mother about her inner grievances.
Lang Lang's parents severely criticized Lang Lang to show their approval of their daughter-in-law Gina. Later, through the joint efforts of their parents and Langlangina, their relationship returned to its previous state and they lived happily.
Marriage is a love relationship on the surface, but in fact it will be a companionship, comrade-in-arms and friend relationship after marriage. Therefore, we need to understand each other and seek common ground so that we can talk and live together.
In marriage, love is the starting point, and good cooperation is the journey to the distance. There is no division of labor between men and women in life, only who can help the other more, so that they can work together and live a good life.
Otherwise, one lives like a single person and the other lives like a single parent, covering up all the beauty of marriage. How can one find happiness in life?
The most important thing about marriage is that two people are close to each other and have patience and sacrifice. Therefore, be tolerant and compassionate in our days, and let happiness nourish our hearts.
02
Second: before and after pregnancy
The most painful time in a woman’s life is when she is pregnant and giving birth.
In fact, this is the way a woman loves a man. Only when a woman loves a man to a certain extent will she choose to have children for him. If it weren't for love, no woman would be willing to go through the "ghost gate".
Aunt Wang, a colleague of mine, had a rough and sad life, but her husband did not feel sorry for him.
When she gave birth to a child, her mother-in-law ignored her and did not give her delicious food, nothing delicious at all. Her husband didn't understand him either. When the child was just one month old, he asked her to go to work in the fields.
When it came to the sad part, Aunt Wang couldn't help crying, which made everyone feel sad.
She said: "The child is coming to meet his parents, how can he be willing to give up the child? If I had divorced him early, for the sake of the two children, I would have to live with him.
However, now he regrets it very much The way he did it before. I am very happy that he can think like this, and I still have some strength in life. "
Pregnancy is a turning point in a woman's life. If many women don't suffer at this time, they will be very happy and will basically be better for the rest of their lives. Mature, competent and kind.
And if a man doesn't care about a woman at this time and pours cold water on her, then she will only have to pin her hopes on her children throughout her life.
In fact, if you try to care more about your wife during the pregnancy and childbirth period, the woman will be more gentle and the family will be happier.
03
Third: After the children go to school
Huang Lei said: "I am very opposed to couples becoming relatives. For example, my father, my mother, and my daughter are my relatives, but my wife is my lover and my lover. She is different. ”
Lovers are different from relatives. Relatives are familiar, but lovers must have a sense of mystery. This sense of mystery must always exist between husband and wife, so that the relationship will be as sweet as honey.
In a family, children predict the future, and many people place their unfinished dreams in their youth on their children.
Because both parents care about their children, but most of their ideas are different, many conflicts will arise after the children go to school.
Some conflicts can be resolved, but some conflicts will make parents regret for life, and even divorce is possible because of the children.
My cousin's parents care about him very much, but they have different ideas about his cousin's future career. My mother wanted my cousin to go to normal school and go to a technical secondary school; but my father strongly opposed it and supported him to go to university.
Later, my cousin chose to listen to his father, but after the test results came out, he was only one point away from Experimental High School .
After being sad, my cousin gave up his studies and went out to work, but there was no improvement. Later he got married, but the marriage failed because he and his wife had no common language.
spent 20 spring and autumn years in a daze, but my cousin's life was still unsatisfactory. The mother blamed all the incident on the father, saying that it was the father who ruined his cousin.
In fact, parents all feel sorry for their children. Many couples argue endlessly and refuse to give in because of their children's learning problems. If the final result is not satisfactory, they will blame each other.
Some couples have gone to the point of divorce because of their children's education problems. Even if they are not divorced, some people will continue to complain for a long time, constantly hurting the marriage and the relationship between husband and wife.
Therefore, when it comes to children's problems, couples should try to keep the same opinion, discuss and discuss issues, and strive to achieve a good result based on the best intentions of the child.
As mentioned above, there are three hurdles in marriage. Everyone who is about to enter the marriage hall should understand it and be prepared to make the marriage happy. Don't give up when you encounter it, but try to overcome it, and you will gain something.
For the rest of your life, may all your thoughts be beautiful, achievable, and happy.
