Elderly people all hope that their children will be filial, and they all hope that their children can go home and visit them in their old age, so that they can feel comfort in their hearts. If the children I raise ignore me when they are old, I will probably cry to death.
So, is it best to let your children take care of you when you are old? In fact, it is not true, because in old age, the elderly often have difficulty moving, and there are many poor people in China. Therefore, in most families, if parents let their children raise them, the children will probably dislike their parents for dragging them down.
Everyone needs to keep a distance from each other, and the same goes for relatives. They can't be too close or too far away. Just go home and visit occasionally. It's best to hire a nanny or go to a nursing home.
Aunt Liu said frankly: "I live with my son and daughter-in-law every day. Others praise my son for being filial and say that I am very happy, but in fact I am miserable."
66-year-old Aunt Liu said in her own words:
My name is Liu Ling and I am 66 years old. Years old, when I was young, I wanted to save a sum of money for retirement. My wife and I were employees in a company. Within two years of retirement, my wife suddenly passed away. Destiny is unpredictable, and there is no point in being sad. My wife and I also went to other provinces and traveled around China when we were young, and we have no regrets in this life.
I have a pension, which is more than 3,000 yuan a month. I live a comfortable life and have no worries about food and clothing. So far, I have not had any serious illness. I just feel a little lonely because I live alone in my hometown. I grew some vegetables in the front yard and raised some chickens in the backyard, so I was self-sufficient, and I knew I could live until I couldn't take care of myself.
My son works in the city and my daughter is married to another province. They both have families, so I don't have anything to worry about.
Suddenly one day, my son called me. He said: "Mom, you are too lonely living there alone. If something happens, the water from far away cannot quench your thirst. Why don't you come to my place?" Living in the city makes it easier for me to take care of you. "
After understanding my son's filial piety, I felt very good. I think what my son said made sense. I can live in a big city for a while. It would be good to live in a different way. Besides, I miss my son too. So I immediately packed my bags and took the bus to the city the next day.
Originally I really thought I was going to my son’s house to enjoy the blessings, but when I went there I realized that I was just a live-in nanny. My son’s house was a mess and my daughter-in-law was too lazy. She said she was exhausted at work. I don't want to do anything after work. So I took care of all the housework, including three meals a day, doing laundry and taking care of the children. I had to take my grandson to school every day.
To be honest, no mother in the world would hate her child, and I am the same. I am willing to do anything for my son. I just want my son to be nice to me, and to be able to help me when I can’t take care of myself. I need to take care of you, think of me when good things happen, don't neglect me, and just talk to me.
But no, every time my son and daughter-in-law come home, they talk a lot, put me aside, and take my cooking and laundry for granted. My daughter-in-law even says that I am stingy and refuse to provide for my retirement. Hand over the gold.
My son bought a car. There was no loan for the car, but he had to pay the mortgage for the house every month. His salary was spent on the mortgage every month, so later when my son asked me if I had any When I made the deposit, I immediately gave him 50,000, and my total deposit was less than 150,000.
Young people are under a lot of pressure, especially those who live in big cities. I know that it is normal for them not to have the energy to be nice to me. After all, when people reach middle age, there are seniors and juniors, and there will be a lot of pressure. Pile of worries.
I get up the earliest and go to bed the latest every day. I go to the vegetable market in the morning to buy fresh vegetables and lean meat, so that they can have breakfast after they wake up. Then at night, after they took a shower, they asked me to wash clothes and dry them, so I got up earlier than chickens and went to bed later than dogs.
After I finish breakfast, I have to send my grandson to primary school, and then come back to wash dishes. Sometimes I also have to wash clothes, because sometimes they come home very late at night, so I have to wash the clothes in the morning, and I wash them at noon. Just eat those breakfasts. If I buy good meat and eat it by myself, my daughter-in-law sometimes scolds me for being a poisonous eater.
In the afternoon, I clean the house. My grandson is a naive child, so the house is quite messy. I am all busy with it. When my grandson is out of school, I go to pick him up from school. When I pass by the vegetable market, I Gotta prepare dinner for dinner. This cycle goes on forever, I might as well live alone.
After working so hard day in and day out, my body is getting worse and my spirit is also very exhausted. Sometimes I want to tell my son that I want to go back to my hometown, but I stop because I am afraid that my son will be unhappy. He must want me to be a live-in nanny. of.
I feel that after I came to my son’s house, I was even more tired than when I was at work before. Not only was my body tired, but my mind was tired as well.
Later, my daughter-in-law gave birth to another child, and I became even busier. Basically, I never stopped busy during the day. Because my daughter-in-law was pregnant, she was even lazier than before. This was the first time I experienced the full-time nanny. It’s hard because I work as a nanny with dark circles under my eyes every day. I don’t know why my son is so coldhearted and wants to do this to me.
Once, when I was passing by a rice store, I weighed myself and found that I was ten kilograms lighter. Only then did I realize that coming to my son's place not only did not improve me, but made my life even worse. When I looked in the mirror, I realized that I was much older and even had wrinkles. However, I would not spend money on skin care products because at my age, beauty or not is not important.
I am indeed more tired than the nanny. The nanny pays because of her salary, but I pay unconditionally. Of course, I feel different in my heart. Every time I work extremely hard, my son and daughter-in-law don’t even have a word of concern, and they usually don’t give me any gifts.
By the time the second grandson was in elementary school, the first grandson was already in junior high school. I thought it was time for me to leave. When I asked my son to leave, my daughter-in-law said to me: "Are you old and confused?" , haven’t you been enjoying your life with your son and daughter-in-law by your side? Why are you going back to your hometown to be alone? Many old people want to be with their children, but their children don’t allow them, saying that we don’t dislike you, so why don’t you. Do you dare to dislike us? You'd better think clearly. If you go back to your hometown and I don't have time to go back during the New Year and the holidays, you can take care of yourself."
These words completely chilled me. Really. They say that a married daughter-in-law is a daughter. Does she look like my daughter? A complete outsider.
The daughter-in-law is really too much, how could she say such a thing. Although I was angry, I thought about it and realized that no matter whether my son supported my daughter-in-law's views or not, I was unwilling to leave because I was afraid that my son and daughter-in-law would have conflicts, so I had to give up and continue to be a live-in nanny.
has been doing it for last year. I have been retired for eleven years, and I have lived with my son for seven years. I have not been happy at all during these seven years, but it is a bit like being in jail. My daughter-in-law does not care about me at all, and my son also follows her. , it seems that my daughter-in-law is closer than me.
I envy people who do square dancing, but I don’t have time to do square dancing.
I remember one time, I had a cold and fever, so I stopped working. So the house was in a mess. My son and daughter-in-law came back together that night. When they came back, they yelled at me, saying that I was lazy and slept in bed.
Actually I didn't sleep well, I just had a cold. When my son found out, he sent me to the hospital and then left in a hurry, asking the nurse to take good care of me.
He didn't even order a meal for me. It was the nurse who asked me if I had eaten, so I said I didn't.
This time I was extremely disappointed with them. I decided to go back to my hometown and never be a live-in nanny again. I left decisively. This is the good son I raised.Both my son and daughter-in-law are so ruthless. They are usually not harmonious, and I always try to reconcile them. If it weren't for having two children, I would have divorced them long ago.
My son has really become an old man in the eyes of others. He not only took away 50,000 yuan from me, but also took away my time and energy and let me work as a nanny for free for so many years.
It turns out that when they said they would provide me with old-age care, they wanted to make me a free nanny and use my pension because I still had value.
I really returned to my hometown. I returned home at the beginning of last year. Now my life is very happy. I planted some flowers and raised a cat. It is still the same as before. I grow vegetables in the front yard and raise some chickens in the backyard. I am self-sufficient. It's a lot of fun, I feel happy physically and mentally, and at least I'm not so busy anymore. I usually like to watch TV series. I feel really happy watching other people's stories. I also like to read books, and reading is also very leisurely and enjoyable.
After more than a year of conditioning, my body has gotten better and I have gained five pounds. This is all because I am not a nanny. I often wonder if I had not gone to my son’s house. There is something wonderful about being alone. Life is short and it is important to enjoy yourself in the moment.
Finally, I would like to advise you old people to keep a distance from your children. You really can’t get too close, because reality is often cruel. Everyone should think about themselves first, and then think about others. When you first start living with your children, you may feel that the relationship is really good, but as time goes by, you will understand everything.
