When chatting with a friend some time ago, she said with emotion: Before getting married, I always thought that it was enough for two people to truly love each other. It was not until they got married that I realized that there are too many problems in the lives of couples.
This friend was recently married. I heard that she had a quarrel with her husband's parents before the marriage, and the problem was over the bride price. This friend said that the prospective mother-in-law promised well at first and said she would give her a gift of 180,000 yuan in accordance with local customs. But before the wedding, she suddenly regretted it and said that she did not have that much money on hand and could only afford 50,000 yuan.
Even her fiancé couldn’t stand it anymore and exposed her directly, saying: Mom, don’t you have a bank card with more than 500,000 in it? You don’t want to give it because you feel sorry for the money, right?
This friend sighed and said, my mother-in-law is usually very nice to me, but who knew she would treat me like an outsider and not even want to give her a bride price. If my husband hadn't been on my side, I wouldn't have wanted to get married at that time.
Some people may say, what does the bride price represent? Isn’t it enough for two people to live their lives, love each other, and know each other’s roots? Those women who only want betrothal gifts are simply worshiping money.
But the fact is that the betrothal gift itself is a reflection of sincerity, especially for many parents from the natal family. After asking for the betrothal gift, it is just for a formality. After the marriage, the gift will be transferred back to the couple's hands, and they will even give it themselves. Use your pocket to subsidize some money so that they can live smoothly.
If it is some men's families, they are very stingy about the betrothal gift before marriage, resisting all requests, or even not wanting to give a penny. It is enough to prove that he has no sincerity in this marriage and does not have that much respect for the woman.
In a marriage between two people, respect is the most basic bottom line. If this person doesn’t take you seriously before marriage and thinks that your love is not even worth the money he spends, then we must make careful decisions about such a marriage. Don't trust others, and you will regret it in the end.
1. "Three months before marriage, I found out I was pregnant."
Jasmine and her boyfriend got engaged a year ago. They also met their parents. Neither family had any objections to the marriage. Jasmine's mother has only one request, that is, the bride price must be given in accordance with their local customs. Of course, her side will also provide a dowry.
Jasmine’s boyfriend turned around and told his parents about the matter. The two old men had no objections and readily agreed. They said: " Marrying your daughter is a big sacrifice in the first place. We will pay for it." It’s appropriate to spend some money. Besides, the money won’t be given to anyone else. In the end, it will go to the hands of the two children, and their lives will be easier.”
So a few months ago, they began to discuss the wedding date and choose a suitable one. On the day of the wedding, I informed my relatives and friends and started preparing for the wedding step by step.
During this period, Jasmine always felt low energy, and she still had symptoms of nausea and retching when she got up in the morning. That day she was cautious and went to the pharmacy to buy a piece of test paper .
As soon as the results came out, I was actually pregnant. In fact, this is not a bad thing, after all, they had decided to get married. After the fiancé found out, he excitedly said that this was a double blessing and that both families should be informed immediately.
At the same time, Jasmine also went to the hospital for a detailed examination. The examination results proved that Jasmine was just pregnant, just over 4 weeks old.
As soon as she walked out of the hospital gate, Jasmine's cell phone rang. She picked up the answer, and her fiancé said hesitantly: "I have something to tell you. My mother said that pregnancy is a good thing, but after the child is born, there will be great financial pressure. She asked me to ask you if I can give you a bride price." No more."
2. "It's okay not to give the bride price, but to abort the child and cancel the wedding."
Jasmine understood as soon as she heard this. She said: Wait until I get home and hung up the phone.
When she got home, Jasmine yelled at her boyfriend: "What do you mean, mother? As soon as you heard that I was pregnant, you didn't want to give me a gift, right?"
Her boyfriend quickly explained to her: " That's not what she meant. , she said, we have never experienced it, and we don’t know that having a child and raising a child is a troublesome thing, and it will cost a lot of money. Milk powder, diapers, clothes and toys, none of which are free of charge, she said? Just don't give it to her. She will save it for us and transfer it to us after she gives birth to the child."
Jasmine waved her hands and said with a sneer: "Your mother is really good at talking. If she has this money, why should she save it until she is born? Wouldn’t it be more convenient to give it to us after we have the baby? In other words, I don’t believe that she will give me the money after I give birth to the baby. If she wanted to give it to her, she would have given it to her.”
Then he said, "I know what your mother means, but it's just that I'm pregnant and my marriage is certain, so I don't want to give a bride price."
"But that's not possible here. Even if I am pregnant, if I find out Your family is unreliable and you are not suitable for marriage. I will abort the child and break up without hesitation. "
When he heard that the child was aborted, his boyfriend was a little anxious. He said: "My mother definitely didn't mean what you said. Don't worry, don't say anything about spanking the child. It's so unlucky.
Jasmine nodded and said, "Okay, tell your mother that the bride price cannot be less. Besides, my parents also said that on the wedding day, they will also give out a dowry, plus the bride price, all of it will be given to both of us." personal.
"If your parents still don't want to give you this gift, then I have nothing to say. The wedding will be cancelled, and the children will no longer be wanted. Otherwise, if you have such parents-in-law, who are so stingy before the marriage, you can still benefit from me after the marriage. "Do you want to eat?"
The next day, her boyfriend told Jasmine that her parents had listened to her advice and gave her the gift. At the same time, she also told Jasmine to rest assured and raise the baby and stop thinking about it all day long.
Jasmine felt relieved after hearing this. She said to her husband, I am not looking for the gift money. Our two families have similar conditions and I also have savings. I just want the attitude of your family, your parents, not to think that I will never leave just because I am pregnant.
In any case, the two of us are not married yet, so we must have the sincerity we deserve, and we cannot treat each other casually just because we have children. I was so casual before I got married, but when I got married and became a mother, didn't you even care less about me?
Her boyfriend also understood Jasmine's statement and apologized to her, saying that he was too indecisive and ignored her mood. After marriage, I will definitely stand by Jasmine's side and not let her suffer any grievances.
3. No matter when, you must respect and cherish your other half.
Nowadays, some people forget their original intention as they go, and forget how they promised their other half at the beginning that they would bring them a lifetime of happiness. of.
Like Jasmine, although her husband has loved her from the beginning to the end, because of Jasmine's pregnancy, her husband's family subconsciously believed that since she was pregnant, marriage was a certainty and nothing would change. Naturally, they felt that There is no need to give a bride price.
But for Jasmine, the value of the bride price represents loyalty more. That's why she had such a big reaction, saying that it was impossible for her to accept a zero-betrothal marriage, which also proved her attitude.
Some people may think that Jasmine's behavior is a bit extreme, but the editor wants to say, No matter what, we must learn to cherish and respect the people around us. Don't forget to put her first in your heart just because you have too many things.
When we go further and further, we will abandon too many things. But as long as there is one day left and that person is still by your side, we should not forget our promise to her, take care of her, respect and cherish each other, because this is the true meaning of love.
