In fact, men cheating is very common. Tencent Questionnaire once conducted a survey of 68,119 people and found that 60.2% of men have cheated. The final conclusion is that 1 in every 3 husbands will cheat.

The most interesting and practical psychology of working every day

Many women will ask in the consulting room: "What do those cheating men think? Aren't you living a good life? You must create a harmonious family. Is it just because the shit outside smells good?"

In fact, it is very common for men to cheat. Tencent Questionnaire once conducted a survey on 68,119 people and found that 60.2% of men had cheated. The final conclusion was that 1 out of every 3 husbands would cheat. .

Let’s take a look at what three men of different ages said in the consultation room:

Mr. Zhang, 42 years old, has been married for 17 years

I am now 42 years old. I met my wife when I was 25 and have been married for 17 years. Over the years, my wife has been with me during my career growth. We have always had a good relationship, and we are also a model couple in the eyes of others.

Last year, I was promoted to the vice president of the company. My income has increased a lot. At the same time, I have started to work more and have more social activities, and I have less time to go home. I understand everything, and the more important things I do, the more important things I do, and my partners want to exchange for them from me. High-quality resources, constantly setting up traps to trick me.

It’s really unbearable. I had a dinner party some time ago. After drinking for a while, I went to my private room. As soon as I took off my clothes and got ready to go to bed, I heard someone knocking on the door. Unexpectedly, several girls in their 20s followed me. Come in, what man can refuse a beautiful woman, and being drunk too late to say no, thinking: "Just this once, I will never do it again in the future"! But at the same time, I felt sorry for my wife and children, and I felt very complicated afterwards.

Mr. Wang, 32 years old, married for 5 years

When I was a student, I was the type of boy who was not very popular with girls, so I turned my attention to study and work. I am very motivated and have always been since I got married. Put work first.

I have made some achievements in my early 30s this year. I am very proud of myself. My wife is also happy for me. I thought I could lead a happy family to get better and better.

As a result, my old classmates held a class reunion two months ago. The goddess I had a crush on at that time also came. I was so excited and happy that I secretly shed tears. The fatigue from these years of work suddenly disappeared.

I was very happy in my heart: "It turns out that in the eyes of the goddess, I am quite attractive, but I underestimated myself too much." In short, subconsciously I still can't resist fresh and beautiful women, even though I know this It’s wrong, but which man in the world doesn’t do this?

Mr. Li is 27 years old and has been married for 1 year.

The year before, my wife and I met on a blind date. To be honest, I was emotionally traumatized at that time and felt that I no longer believed in love, so we got married all at once. At the same time, it was also to cope with the family. Human urging.

One year after we got married, my wife got pregnant. During that time, I couldn’t sleep with her because of the child. It was still very uncomfortable during this period. In addition, my relationship with my wife was not solid, which was a bit difficult. It happened that my ex suddenly came to look for me again. I….

I really like my ex, and I have a relationship for several years. I basically have no relationship with my wife. At that time, I was thinking: "If I were not so emotional, I would get married later."

If a man cheats, it is either Mental cheating , or physical cheating, or even both. In fact, men will experience some psychological changes when they cheat. Here I will teach you a psychological and behavioral judgment technique.

Reverse compensation psychology

Suddenly one day you find that your husband is not on your birthday, nor is he giving you a gift on a special day.

Or if he who seldom does housework suddenly offers to help you with housework, you should be cautious, because if you are an old couple for such a long time, there must be a reason why a man does this.

Especially when life is very ordinary, while he is nice to you, he comes home later and later. When the wife sees her husband doing well, she does not pursue it too much. This is the self-righteous cleverness of men.

's good reverse compensation to his wife may not be love, but just a feeling of guilt. If he loves his wife, he will not choose to cheat on her, and feeling guilty towards his wife shows that his conscience is still there, but he just doesn't want to give up the marriage easily. People like

will also have other behaviors, such as deliberately acting in front of outsiders, taking more careful care of their children, and acting like a good husband and father.

From a psychological point of view, many men have actually thought about cheating, but reason has defeated desire. Fame, money, family affection, etc. are far more important than physical needs.

"Will my wife get divorced if she finds out? If she gets divorced, how much property will be lost? Will she lose her children? Will she be despised by others for being a scumbag?" At the same time, another voice was fighting, "There are so many cheating men in the world. It’s not like that.”

Once a man thinks about cheating, it means that the emotional value brought by the third party is greater than the emotional value of the original wife. However, many times men do not have to choose one or the other, they will hesitate in the middle.

Many times, what makes men decisively divorce is not only the wife's incomprehension, but also the mistress's deliberate actions. Many third parties know that the man is married and want to get in the upper hand. Men who cheat often fail to recognize this. The mistress He also tried hard to cover up this point, "I like the other person so much. If I miss him, I will regret it for the rest of my life. Compared with my family, can I live for myself?

"Even if I lose him in the end, it at least proves that I loved and lived vigorously." , a man’s self-righteous true love is actually deceived by his mistress.

However, although most men have thought about cheating, less than 1/4 actually divorce because of a third party. If a woman thinks about how to prevent her mistress every day, You can't prevent it no matter what.

Because there are always young, beautiful and fresh women, what you have to think about is how to keep a man in your heart, and managing your marriage well is the most important thing.

- The End -

Author | Tommy

Editor | It Doesn’t Rain

The first psychological writing team | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars

Reference: Vogel, D. L., & Wester, S. R. (2003). To seek help or not to seek help: The risks of self -disclosure. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(3), 351.