Readers wrote in this way: My husband and I fell in love freely and got married. When we got married, my parents-in-law did not agree with us being together because both my parents were farmers. My parents-in-law thought that my husband could find a woman with better conditions t

Readers wrote in this way:

My husband and I fell in love freely and got married. When we got married, my parents-in-law did not agree with us being together because both my parents were farmers. My parents-in-law thought that my husband could find a woman with better conditions to marry, but my husband had the attitude of not marrying me unless I wanted to marry her. My parents-in-law had no choice but to help us organize the wedding. Our wedding can be held smoothly, but there are actually conditions: my husband will not get the certificate with me for the time being. On this matter, the husband compromised.

The year after we got married, our child was born. At this time, I forced my husband to get the certificate, but he didn’t agree, so I started to break up with my husband. In this way, we had our first divorce experience. At that time, I left my children with my husband. Because neither my parents-in-law nor my husband could take good care of the child (the child cried for his mother every day), my husband could only compromise by getting a marriage certificate and let me return to him.

When the child was three years old, a comrade-in-arms of my father-in-law came to the house as a guest (the kind that crosses the province). During this period, when the comrade-in-law mentioned his daughter, he burst into tears (unfortunate marriage). Later, my parents-in-law actually encouraged my husband to divorce me and adopt the daughter of my father-in-law’s comrade. Although the husband disagreed with this matter, he politely went to the city where the woman was. Because of this incident, my husband and I divorced for the second time. After that, my husband would wait for me at the door of my workplace every day after get off work and beg me for forgiveness. My husband and I are living together again.

Now, my husband and I have been married for 9 years. Some time ago, we were divorced and remarried. What happened was roughly like this: my parents-in-law insisted on coming to live with us, but I decisively refused. My parents-in-law fanned the flames in front of my husband, saying that I was unloving. Of course I won't let it go in this matter. Because I will never forget the prejudice my parents-in-law had against me during the marriage process between me and my husband. After I actually divorced my husband, my husband realized that he actually couldn't live without me, and neither could our children. We came together again.

Actually, I am kind-hearted, but my parents-in-law’s daily behavior really makes me feel sick to my stomach. What I am talking about here are only some things that seem to me to be particularly egregious. There are many trivial things that I won’t list here one by one. If my parents-in-law had been kind to me over the years, I wouldn't be unwilling to support them now. I also made it clear to my husband: I would rather bear the reputation of being unfilial than live with my parents-in-law. If one day they really lose their ability to take care of themselves, I would rather let them live in a nursing home.

Muzi Li Emotional Analysis:

What we often say: Compare yourself to others; treat others in their own way; treat me as you want me to treat you. What we call respecting the old and loving the young does not include relying on the old and selling the old. As for your current tough attitude, I support it. Why can't a human being retaliate with a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye? In fact, there is nothing wrong with the relationship between you and your husband. The reason why you and your husband divorced three times and finally remarried over the years is because of your parents-in-law. During this period, your husband's position was also somewhat unstable. But your husband did not let go of the trouble at a critical moment: when you got married, your husband showed the attitude that he would not marry you unless you were married.

There is a saying that it takes thirty years to see a mother-in-law, and thirty years to see a daughter-in-law. Everyone should understand this truth, but some people are simply unwilling to let themselves live as far-sighted people, so that the phenomena we often see are: 1) Parents beat up the mandarin ducks when their children choose the marriage partner; 2 ) Parents act as troublemakers in their children's marriages during their first few years of marriage. The result: some couples part ways, and those couples who are not separated will be in a situation where they are not treated well by their daughter-in-law or son-in-law when their parents are old. Can you say that your daughter-in-law or son-in-law is unfilial at this time? It can only be said that the elders failed to accumulate virtue for themselves and suffered the consequences in return.

Next, there are some daughter-in-laws or son-in-laws whose parents obviously gave their heart and soul to their parents when they were getting married and raising their children, but they failed to treat their parents well when they were old, resulting in The result: In order to live a healthy and happy life, the parents sold the house and moved into a nursing home; or on their deathbed, they donated all their property to charity or to a nanny. You must know that these family properties were originally intended to be left to the children, but because the children have turned into white-eyed wolves, these family properties cannot become theirs. At this time, those unfilial children can blame their parents for turning their elbows outward, but I am afraid they are speechless.

A person's life is a process of accumulating virtue for himself. Don't let yourself live like a difficult person at any time, and at the same time, don't let yourself live like a white-eyed wolf. Of course, everyone should not place their happy life on the charity of others. At least they should ensure the minimum self-reliance and good health. Usually, only when your existence can make people around you profitable, you will gain more respect for yourself. Therefore, throughout one's life, one must continue to ensure that one is of useful value, rather than letting oneself become a drag on others. That kind of living state where you don't have to look at other people's faces at any time is a benign living state.

During the period when you and your husband live together, it is your ability to live in such a way that your husband cannot live without you. During this period, you should maintain absolute independence in terms of income. In addition, your children are also the most important thing in your marriage. You have the capital of toughness, and you are not evil-minded in the process of running your marriage, so you and your husband will have the result that although they bump into each other, they can't live without each other. In this case, your parents-in-law cannot use you as a weakling. They are actually very unconvinced. But time is not forgiving, they are no longer able to fight with you now. In this case, not supporting them or deliberately being mean to them is your last act of mercy.

At this time, the person who feels the most uncomfortable is actually your husband: although he has witnessed the whole process of your parents-in-law being mean to you, and has a tough attitude towards your unwillingness to be filial to your parents-in-law, which makes your husband speechless, but your parents-in-law After all, you have no second thoughts about your husband and your parents-in-law are his biological parents, so how can he ignore you when it comes to filial piety. In the future, your husband will only be able to live between your home and your parents-in-law’s home. Maybe at some moments, your parents-in-law also regretted being mean to you before, but let them reap the retribution for their own sins. Bad people are still bad people when they get old. At least in your mind, there is no way to clear your parents-in-law's innocence until they leave.

Editor's postscript:

It is a very easy to understand principle to sow melons and reap beans, so it is applicable to every aspect of life. This life of a person is not only a process of living out oneself, but also a process of living out oneself. The process of inheritance. What’s on my mind: The process of raising children is indeed a process that involves worry and wastes money. Everyone understands the reason, but why do so many people still want to have children? This is because these people will feel that inheritance is a responsibility and obligation, and their children will become their more important spiritual sustenance at a certain age.

Several important roles in our life: children, husband (wife), daughter (son-in-law), son (daughter-in-law), parents-in-law (parents-in-law). During this period, due to marriage, we will become unrelated to our lover and the lover of our children. Relationships with loved ones. Since we are family members, we should show kindness to each other. We must always understand the truth: only by giving will you be rewarded. When you can't be kind to your relatives who are not related by blood, why should they lick their faces and treat you well?

(pictures from the Internet, pictures and texts have nothing to do with it)