01
Since ancient times, Chinese people have attached great importance to courtesy and reciprocity. Betrothal gifts, as a unique etiquette culture for weddings, have existed in China for a long time. By looking at the bride price, the woman's family can also test the man's sincerity and family background. However, in recent years, due to the imbalance of the male-to-female ratio in the country, the bride price has increased with the tide, and has lost its original meaning and has become a means for some people to make a fortune.
For families that have given birth to a boy, marrying a wife is the biggest hurdle for the family, which almost consumes the parents' life savings.
Falling in love is beautiful, but at the moment when you face marriage, this beauty will be shattered by reality.
02
Xiao Li and his girlfriend met at a blind date. At that time, the conditions listed by the woman were very clear, requiring the man to have a car and a house. After the two had been together for more than a year, Xiao Li's parents purchased a second-hand commercial house and a car for them in full, and the two families sat together to discuss marriage.
Unexpectedly, his girlfriend's parents suddenly opened their mouth and demanded 300,000 yuan in gift money from Xiao Li's family. I thought that according to local customs, the bride price was usually only 70,000 to 80,000 yuan, but suddenly the woman's parents asked for so much money, which really surprised Xiao Li's parents. Buying a house and a car has already used up almost all of the family's savings. It's really hard to come up with such a sum of money again.
03
So Xiao Li’s parents tried to persuade the girl’s parents to lower the bride price. The car and house have been paid in full. After the couple gets married, there is almost no pressure. They can ask for more as a bride price, but 300,000 is too much.
But the other party’s parents insisted on 300,000 yuan and would not let go. This made Xiao Li's parents very embarrassed. The couple were both working-class people. They originally thought that they would have no problem finding a wife for their son after saving money all their lives. However, after calculating this, they greatly exceeded their budget.
But the girl’s parents did not forget to show off their daughter to increase her social status:
“In terms of looks and figure, my daughter will be a face to your parents when she marries you.”
“Yes, it is very difficult for my family to raise her. A girl who has been married for more than 20 years has to see if your family is sincere, right?"
Xiao Li looked at his girlfriend. She was only dealing with the newly made nails on her hands shyly, and seemed not to pay attention to the content of the conversation. At Xiao Li's signal, she slowly raised her head, cleared her throat, and said weakly:
"I listen to my mother..."
Xiao Li's face darkened obviously. He looked at his parents, and his parents looked at him, and the atmosphere suddenly became awkward.
The mother's patience had long been exhausted. When she saw her son, she became really angry. She forced herself to get angry and said to the woman's family:
"We still have sincerity. We can also give out a gift of 300,000 yuan, but every penny is worth a penny." We have to test whether this daughter-in-law is still a virgin? Is she worth 300,000? "
These words were like a bombshell, and the girl's father was so angry that he raised his eyebrows. The mother and daughter left, and the conversation ended unhappily.
Seeing that his son's marriage has become so dirty. Xiao Li's mother was so angry that she accidentally said the wrong thing, and she blamed herself very much:
"They can ask for a gift of 300,000 yuan, so my request is not unreasonable, right? I couldn't help but feel so angry that I became bald... "
Xiao Li kept comforting his mother. He only felt heartbroken when he saw his mother, who had worked hard for him day and night and had gray hair on her temples. The bride price was beyond the family's affordability, so how could they blame the mother?
04
The neighbor Lao Liu has two sons. The eldest son has been married for five years, and the younger son just got a wife last year. These two sons can be regarded as the death of the old couple. They married two daughters-in-law in seven years! I bought two houses one after another, and received car gifts and home appliances. I spent all my savings and owed more than 200,000 yuan in foreign debt. The old couple thought to themselves, should they finally breathe a sigh of relief? But who would have imagined that the youngest son and daughter-in-law, who had just been married for more than a year, were getting divorced again.
At that time, when my daughter-in-law got married, she asked for a gift of 180,000 yuan and refused to return it.This incident caused Lao Liu to sigh every day:
"It costs money, but it's okay to get ahead, but all the busyness is in vain!"
05
Coincidentally, Aunt Wang's experience is even more difficult to describe. My wife left early, and I finally found a wife for my son. Half a year after the marriage, my son was diagnosed with uremia . Chemotherapy and dialysis soon turned a good young man into a skinny man. My daughter-in-law was still waiting beside me at first, but she gradually lost her patience. She was already three months pregnant. She aborted the child and returned to her parents' home, never to return. Think about it, all the money I have saved my whole life has been used to get my son married! Perhaps out of consideration for the love between husband and wife, the daughter-in-law returned all the money she had asked for as a gift, and the two divorced by agreement. The mother and son depend on each other, and Aunt Wang takes care of her son every day. This kind of life cannot be expected...
06
Inheriting the traditional culture of the Chinese nation, wedding culture is one of them, and what should be inherited and carried forward is the word "ritual"! Reciprocity expresses a kind of respect and sincerity, and it is done according to one's own ability. It must not be used as a tool to compare with each other, let alone a means of making money!
In some areas, the amount of betrothal gifts has been rising and rising again and again. Betrothal gifts ranging from hundreds of thousands to one million are also emerging one after another. It has become a heavy burden on the man’s family! Some parents even take out loan sharks in order to find a wife for their sons! From then on, the whole family lived a life of paying off debts! If this is the case, then the ancient wedding culture has changed, turned into dross, and turned into a bad habit, which we should resolutely resist!
has become a heavy burden for young people and has also become a widely criticized social bad habit.
In other words, if the man’s sincerity can be measured by money, what about the woman’s sincerity? This should be a two-way requirement. After getting married, you can't just throw everything away and run away without any worries!
