Confucius once said something like this: "If you don't talk to someone when you can talk to them, you will miss someone; if you talk to someone who can't talk to you, you will lose your words." The meaning of this sentence is: when you can talk, if you don't say it, Then you have

Confucius once said this:

"If you can talk to someone but don't talk to them, you will miss someone; if you talk to them if you can't talk to them, you will lose your words."

The meaning of this sentence is: When you can talk, you If you don't say it, you will lose someone who understands you; if you say it when it doesn't make sense, you will waste your breath.

If you understand the true meaning of this sentence, you will avoid many detours in social interaction.

I often hear people say: "Why am I not understood by others?"

"Why don't they understand me no matter what I tell them?"

In fact, it is normal to not understand you. People have thousands of faces, but In essence, everyone is alone.

-01

Why don’t others understand you?

First: the height and environment are different

"will be the top of the mountain, can see all the mountains at a glance ".

When you climb high and look into the distance, those who are still at the foot of the mountain don't understand your pleasure or your mood.

And your pride and pride in being at a high place eventually turned into loneliness.

is like a frog at the bottom of a well. It lives at the bottom of the well all its life. The world in its eyes is so big.

You have told it everything about how beautiful the outside world is, but it has not seen it with its own eyes and does not care about anything you say.

It thinks you are lying and you are bragging; and you think it is too superficial and short-sighted.

Actually, this does not conflict.

You have your world, you stand at your height; it has its own ideas and its own life.

When the circles are different, the differences will come out.

Second: The other person has not experienced what you have experienced and cannot empathize with it.

There is a word in psychology called "empathy".

can also be called "empathy ability". How to understand

?

Your emotions, what you are thinking, and the concepts you express can be understood by the other party.

When you are unhappy, the other person knows why you are unhappy and can give you appropriate comfort. This is called empathy.

When you are happy, the other person thinks you are boring and exaggerated; but at this moment, you are very happy.

What does this mean?

means that the other person has poor empathy ability and cannot feel your thoughts and emotions.

In fact, the reason why people are lonely is because there are few people in this world who can truly empathize with you.

As Mr. Lu Xun said: "Human beings' joys and sorrows are not the same."

Third: The deviation of hobbies makes the other party unable to understand you

This reminds me of a case of reader consultation.

The reader is 30 years old, a single man, working in a factory.

Every night when he returns to the dormitory from work, his roommates are all playing games or watching dramas, but he is the only one reading a book.

Apart from reading, he has no other hobbies; because he has had a dream of reading since he was a child, but his family background is average and he has no opportunity to study.

The most monthly expenses are spent on buying and reading books.

But his roommates did not understand him and always sneered at him: "Why are you pretending to be an educated person? If you were educated, you would come to work with us."

At the beginning, this harsh sound made him unbearable. , was once depressed.

But later, as he read more, he became calmer.

When others don’t understand you, it is also a deviation of interests and hobbies.

You have what you love, and the other person also has what he likes.

Behind the deviation is opposition and contradiction.

Therefore, you should stick to yourself and don't let others sway your hobbies easily.

-02

What should you do when others don’t understand you?

First: stick to yourself and don’t be influenced by others

The greatest charm of a person is to be yourself.

Don't care too much about the judgment and evaluation of the outside world. If you care too much, you will only live under the shadow and words of others.

Stick to your own hobbies and live your life well. This is the path you should take.

Some people like you, and some people don't like you. You can't hate the person who gave you the rose just because the rose has thorns.

What others say is their business, you just need to be yourself.

Think about it from another angle:

Isn’t it just because others are pointing fingers at you behind your back because you are doing better than them?

Second: No need to contact people who don’t understand you.

Streamline social networking is what you should do.

A person's energy is limited, and his feelings are also limited.

When you waste most of your energy on meaningless social interactions, it will definitely affect your work, relationship and life.

So, you only need to use your limited energy on people who deserve it.

Those who don’t understand you, even if you communicate with them, they won’t understand.

"Summer insects cannot talk about ice".

You can’t talk about the beauty and romance of winter with bugs living in summer, right?

In the book " Flat Country ", this truth is explained:

People in the linear country cannot explore the existence of the flat country, and the flat country cannot understand the existence of the three-dimensional country.

There is also an insurmountable gap between three dimensions and four dimensions.

So, people who don’t understand you don’t need to explain.

Everyone is tired if we have to argue about right and wrong.

Accept the differences of everyone with a peaceful mind. This is what you should do.

Today’s topic:

What do you do when others don’t understand you?

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