My husband is a person with relatively high emotional intelligence, but sometimes when faced with my accusations and criticisms, he will helplessly and seriously ask: Why are you always so harsh on me but so polite to others?
Thinking about it afterwards, yes, that seems to be the case.
I remembered a very reasonable saying I had read before:
We are always used to leaving good tempers to strangers and bad tempers to the people closest to us.
Because the other person is a stranger, so the moment our eyes meet, we will respond with a smile;
Because the other person is the closest person and we see each other every day, there is almost no expression on the face most of the time.
Because the other person is a stranger, so when I accidentally bump into someone, I will immediately say "I'm sorry";
Because the other person is the closest person, it shouldn't matter if it hurts, and he will definitely not blame me.
Because the other person is a stranger, we will express our gratitude for the help they provide;
Because the other person is the closest person, we feel that it is appropriate to help. Saying thank you would be too disrespectful.
Because the other party is a stranger, so if you make a mistake, you feel that you should be forgiven;
Because the other party is the closest person, you can't make a mistake and must be punished.
Have we done too many such things in our lives without knowing it?
I was raised by my grandmother, and she is my favorite person. But in my memory, I lost my temper with her once. That day, my grandma took me and my two brothers to the vegetable market to buy vegetables. Later, I didn’t know why I got angry.
My grandma and I would hold hands when we went out. That day, I deliberately walked at the back alone and refused to eat the bread she bought. I ignored her talk to me. In short, I just kept sulking.
Actually, although I was angry when I was walking on the road, I was also worried that my grandmother was old, there were many cars on the road and it was unsafe, and she had to take care of two younger brothers.
My father is a very good-tempered person, but once he almost cried because of me.
It was a winter vacation when I was still in junior high school, and there were many guests at home during the Chinese New Year. I felt it was very noisy that day, so I hid in the room upstairs alone. Later, my father came up and said that if there were guests at home, it would be better not to stay alone upstairs, as this would have a bad influence.
I don’t know why, but after hearing what my father said, I became furious and talked back to my father a few times.
It may also be because my father drank alcohol that day and his voice became louder unconsciously. But I am also famous for my stubborn temper, and in the end I almost made my father cry.
My mother's temper is not very good, and it is easier for two people with both bad tempers to have conflicts.
Once we had an unpleasant quarrel for no apparent reason, and I didn’t talk to her for three days.
In the end, it was my mother who bowed her head first and said, "Mom just said a few words to you, but you didn't talk to me for several days. There is no big conflict. Don't do this again."
I have to add something here, when it comes to the Cold War, Taurus has never been afraid of anyone!
There is also my younger brother. Because we didn’t grow up together when we were young, we have never been very close to each other.
But after all, we still lived under the same roof. My mother wouldn’t be surprised if the two of us didn’t fight every day.
They just look down on each other anyway. He always says how nice other people's sisters are and never hits his own brother. Look at me again, I never know how to give in to my younger brother.
I don’t want to show any weakness, other people’s sisters are good because their brothers are good. If you can be like other people's younger brothers, then I definitely won't beat you.
Actually, I am a person who almost never causes trouble outside, and I am known as a "good girl" in the village.
Since I entered high school, I rarely stay at home for long periods of time.
Therefore, I don’t spend much time with my family every year. In addition, as I grow older, people gradually become more mature, and my parents are also slowly getting older.
Therefore, I have always had a harmonious relationship with my family. She can be regarded as a caring little cotton-padded jacket to my parents and a "good sister" in the eyes of my younger brothers.
Later, my husband appeared and became the closest person in my life.
Every day when I look up and see you, my faulty habit reappears.
euphemistically said, "Just because you are the person closest to me, I have higher requirements for you, and I hope you will get better and better."
If you make the table dirty while eating, you will be blamed.
If you wash the dishes for too long and waste water, you will be blamed.
If you fail to sweep the floor, you will be blamed.
If you go to the toilet and make the toilet dirty, you will be blamed.
I am in a bad mood. When the time comes, you must vent your anger on him;
...
Those who are favored are always confident.
We always lose our temper at the people closest to us at will, just because they understand us and they love us.
Even if we make trouble unreasonably, they will not leave.
Strangers don’t know us well and want to leave a good impression on them, so they are polite to us.
Because of this, many families have conflicts.
If it could be reversed, I believe this society would become more harmonious and better.
Therefore, parents should stop mentioning “other people’s children” all the time.
Pay more attention to your children, be more patient, and love them more, and you will find that your children will be fine.
