01
My friend Alu asked me to complain: Why is my boyfriend treating me worse and worse?
Alu can't help crying when she is sad. While crying, she counts the daily life with her boyfriend and repeatedly scrutinizes every detail to prove what she is doing badly!
Alu is 29 years old, and her boyfriend is 31 years old, and the two seem to match well.
Alu has a gentle personality and a soft voice. She is the kind of girl who can easily capture the hearts of men. After being with her boyfriend, she was obedient to her boyfriend, who told her to go east, she would never dare to go west.
Last time, the leader of Alu's unit asked her to work overtime, and she happily agreed, but her boyfriend was very upset when she knew about it. In order to make her boyfriend happy, Alu immediately called the leader to dismiss the overtime.
As a result, the leader was very angry. From then on, she always gave her small shoes. Alu's work was not going well and she had no choice but to resign.
Alu used to like to wear skirts, and almost always fluttering in skirts throughout the year. But after being with her boyfriend, her boyfriend took care of her very strictly, even in the dog days, she was covered up tightly. The boyfriend said that Alu belonged to him, and the skirt could only be worn by him alone.
Since then, Alu, who loves skirts like her life, rarely wears skirts, even in summer, she also covers her legs with jeans.
Aluyue said that the more she was wronged, she didn't understand why she relied on her boyfriend in everything, but her boyfriend still didn't know how to cherish her?
This reminds me of another friend, Xiaoqing. She was 28 years old and spent a year with her boyfriend, and ended up killing her boyfriend to death.
I heard her talk about some details about getting along with her boyfriend before. Maybe these details hide the secret of her love management!
Xiaoqing’s boyfriend is from a good family,Although Xiaoqing's family background is not as good as her boyfriend, she herself is very motivated. When she first met her boyfriend, Xiaoqing enrolled in a design agency outside of work, taught herself design, and kept improving herself.
In this way, there is less time to date with her boyfriend. The boyfriend joked several times: "Why do girls work like this? In the future, you will be responsible for being beautiful and beautiful, and I will be responsible for paying you!" But Xiaoqing didn't move at all, she still followed her plan step by step.
Xiaoqing has a good relationship, and she has a large group of sisters, and she likes to go shopping and date with them in her free time. For this reason, her boyfriend is also very "jealous", always complaining, so that Xiaoqing cut contact with the sisters, but Xiaoqing refused to listen and still went her own way.
The more Xiaoqing is "disobedient" to her boyfriend, and the more her boyfriend regards her as his life, she will lose her soul if she is not seen for a day.
Once I had a meal with Xiaoqing and a few friends. Before the meal was finished, Xiaoqing's boyfriend kept urging her. When we were separated, we saw that his boyfriend had been waiting outside the door for a long time.
Xiaoqing couldn't help but blame her boyfriend: "You're so annoying! You're so clingy!" It seems that she is complaining, but she is already happy in her heart.
02
In fact, many girls have been confused like Alu in love. The more they follow her boyfriend, the more her boyfriend takes her seriously.
There are also many girls like Xiaoqing. The more they don’t listen to her boyfriend, the more they love her.
For this reason, many people are puzzled. Why? Why?
In psychology, there is an interesting psychological phenomenon: scarcity effect. That is, things are rare and expensive.
,He Shen, the top rich man in the Qing Dynasty, once spent a huge sum of money to get two excellent Ru kiln brush washes. When he knew that these were the only two remaining in the world, he even shattered one of them. Regretful and puzzled.
and Shen explained that things are more expensive! From ancient times to the present, the rarer things are more precious, this one is broken, and now there is only one Ru Kiln brush in the whole world, and the value immediately doubled!
He Shen washes the precious deliberately to break one, not to dislike that one, but to deliberately create "scarcity", and the ultimate goal is to "get expensive".
Feelings are the same, the rarer the more precious.
In a relationship, if you always love too much, too much, too deeply, you always give without complaint, obey the other side, so over time, your feelings will no longer Rare, and no longer precious!
Therefore, the other party gradually does not cherish you, even perfuse you and despise you.
On the contrary, those who are always "unsatisfied in love", disobeying each other, and not always giving generously, can always be rare and cherished by the other party.
Because it pays less, it is rare, so precious, so that the other party can cherish it more.
Alu and Xiaoqing are two obvious examples.
Alu is always obedient to her boyfriend. She will do whatever her boyfriend asks her to do, and she will change whatever she wants to change. Over time, she has become an obedient "doll" in her boyfriend's eyes. , Not only lost its freshness,And let her become no longer herself!
And Xiaoqing has a more sensible attitude towards love. He never loses herself because of love. On the contrary, she loves each other and insists on being herself! More importantly, she never gives easily, because she understands that her love is precious, not something that can be given casually, love is precious, so her boyfriend cherishes her even more.
"Entertainment Discipline Inspection Commission" Wang Sicong is always exposed to changing girlfriends, so many vanity-loving girls are rushing up, cheating on him, and flattering him, but these girls are often not treated by Wang Sicong in the end. cherish.
Sun Yining, who is not easy to provoke, is called "the woman Wang Sicong can't get." Although according to the gossip exposed by the media, Wang Sicong has spoken sweetly to Sun Yining, but Sun Yining is still unwilling. He didn't take the initiative to pay anything. As the incident was exposed, Sun Yining became the biggest winner of the incident and became a hit. Now the live broadcast business is doing well.
03
Some people say that manages relationships and uses only affection. In the end, it will only hurt the whole body. Learn to use your brain and wisdom to become a winner.
Although women are emotional animals, they are prone to "love the brain". Once they fall into a relationship, they are easy to dig their heart and lungs. It is good for men. Put all your energy and thoughts on men. But you know, this kind of good is much better, and men will not cherish it.
The ancients said that will lose if the month is profitable, and overflow if the water is full. Things that are too full cannot be retained after all .
If the love is full,Women only need to love seven points, and the remaining three points are used to love and improve themselves.
Because you love others too much, too much, you are bound to ignore yourself, and gradually lose yourself in love. If you lose your own characteristics, then, what does that man still love you for!
SHE once sang in "Semi-sugarism": I want to adhere to the half-sugarism for love, and will always make you feel unfinished. If there is sweetness like nothing, you will not feel tired; I want to love love Adhere to semi-sugarism, sincerely do not stick together every day, love is not easy, you need to leave a little gap between each other to breathe...
woman, if your love is a piece of candy, if you love him, then just Just give him half, don't give him the whole piece!
In short, a woman in love should do the following three things:
First, not to change yourself in order to cater to the other party; secondly, not to feel obsessed with the other party; finally, set aside half of the time to come. be yourself!
Only in this way can you make yourself more and more "expensive" in a relationship!
Wen/Fenghua
Do you think that when you are in love, should you love too much?
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