Your kindness should be a bit sharp

Why don't others take you seriously?
Because genetically speaking, animals will only harm to those things that can to them, which means that obeys .

There are two types of contradictions, structural contradictions and friction contradictions.
Two people who dislike each other have to fight each other. This kind of thing that can avoid is called frictional contradiction; two people compete for the same position and chase the same girl, either you win or he loses. The thing cannot avoid is the structural contradiction.
There are always structural contradictions in this world that cannot be reconciled. Many times, everyone is not malicious, but there will always be people who are not satisfied. This is no way.

Is it a blessing to suffer?
We say that suffering is a blessing, we are talking about avoiding frictional contradictions as much as possible, rather than letting you be a good person in the face of structural contradictions. The gangster on the side of the road scolds you a few words, you ignore him, it looks like you are at a loss, but you avoid unnecessary risks, so you call it 福; The bottom line compromise, this is called silly.

You compete for the same key position with a colleague who has a good relationship. The result of this event is either you are unhappy or she is unhappy. Someone will definitely be unhappy. Your victory is fair, and he is convinced that he loses, and it does not prevent him from being unhappy. Because he is high and is not happy, it does not depend on your ability, whether you are upright, but whether you have harmed his interests and taken away his opportunities .Would it be useful for you to invite him to dinner, drink with him, and put your heart to heart to restore the relationship afterwards? It's useless. That's mediocrity. This is not to say that you don't care about other people's feelings at all, and you have to do things on the scene. The humble etiquette of is necessary, but you should never try to do something to restore the relationship.

If one day I become heartless, please remember that I have been kind

There are always things that must offend people in life , in the face of structural contradictions, we must have as my kind. and the courage of others, if you want to fight, you must fight boldly, if you refuse, you must . You can do the gentleman's way, but you must understand in your heart that it is one thing to behave properly and sit upright. It is another thing whether others like you or not .

Why do you not only dig your heart out to some people, but also have a clear conscience, but they are always dissatisfied with you, and will spoil you whenever they have a chance?
The answer may just be that you are better than him. You can get things that he can't get at your fingertips, and you can't get the things he can't get. This gap makes him feel that he is a loser at all times. He continues to feel frustrated and constantly reduces his self-identity. This is the irreconcilable structural contradiction between you. You are not wrong, and he is not wrong, but this is the way it is, and you can't change it no matter how honest you are.
Few people will truly recognize someone who is stronger than themselves , if it is not driven by interests, most people would prefer to get along with someone who is weaker than themselves. Compared to becoming stronger, they are more willing to gain recognition from the weak.
So we say that objects are grouped together, and people are grouped into groups .

Don’t give kindness to the wrong person

The first step in maturity is to stop accommodating to please others ,Because any form of flattery is meaningless. Luxury cars pay the same parking fees as ordinary cars and provide the same value to the parking lot. Why do the conductors have a better attitude towards luxury cars? Because a person's attitude towards you depends not only on the value you may provide, but also on the possible consequences of offending you.

Why is the good old man always being bullied? does the most and takes the least, because bullying you has no consequences. You do not have your own principle and bottom line , you are tempting others to trample on your personality and test your bottom line. You must tell everyone "what can and cannot be with me". If someone touches your bottom line, he must pay the price. This is not a must report, but to send a signal to everyone that will inevitably pay a price for touching my bottom line .

There is a very concise interpersonal communication strategy in game theory called , which is the optimal solution obtained by dozens of scientists using 63 social strategy programs in repeated prisoners’ dilemmas. This strategy is only 7 words, is kind, tolerant, and irritating.
Kindness is the first to express goodwill to the other party, choose to cooperate, and never betray first;
can irritate means that once the other party chooses to betray, he must immediately take revenge action to make the other party pay the price;
tolerance is_ strong2strong will not retaliate endlessly because of the betrayal of the other party, as long as the other party cooperates again, it will forget the past and cooperate again.