The love crystallization is still there, but what about love?
My father's name is Chen Xiangdong, born in 1960, my mother's name is Hu Li, born in 1962, my name is Chen Shu, born in 1989, it is the crystallization of their love. If I try to live to 111 years old, their love will be in crystalline form, spanning three centuries.
Unfortunately, in my years, their love ended in my third year of high school.
In the summer of 2007, three days before the college entrance examination, I was studying at home by myself. The heat reached 34 degrees Celsius. I was anxious, lying in my parents’ bedroom facing north, twisting and twisting like a snake. go.
suddenly "clams", as if it knocked something upside down, I got up to check, the alarm clock, parents' wedding photos, " Harvard girl Liu Yiting" are all standing on the bedside table, between the bedside and the wall. There was a bunch of broken hair in the gap between them. I took the mop stick to the hook, and along with the broken hair and dust, a hard-shell notebook came out.
I patted the dust, opened the notebook, and it was all my mother's account: a loan of 50,000 for the new house, 8,000 for the renovation; the old bicycle was lost, and the new car was 467...turned to The last few pages are my mother's diary.
The first article was written in 1996: Three years ago, Xiangdong derailed, and I didn't tell anyone, I carried it down.
The second article was written in 2000: Xiaoshu, a child with strong self-control, knows to work hard, and my hope lies in her.
The third article was written in 2003: for the fifth mock exam, Xiao Shu took the first grade in the exam, and was the third last time.
I shoved my diary back into the cracks like a hot hand, rushed back to my south-facing hut, and carried history-my mother's hope is all in me, and I can't let her down.
Until the college entrance examination is over, I am still in shock. I remembered that when I first went to kindergarten, my parents did always quarrel, but when I grew up, I forgot the quarrels that happened when I was three or four years old. Because when I was 13 years old, I found out more than 400 letters from under the bed. They were written to each other by my parents who were separated from the two places between 1983 and 1988.
From the very beginning, I called "comrades" and greeted each other "hello", until my dad called my mom "Xiaoli", my mom added "dear" before my dad's name, and then I Dad doesn't write a letter on business, and the whole story is "missing you" and "want to see you". At the age of 13, I just finished watching "Deep Love and Rain". I think my parents are contemporary He Shuhuan and Lu Yiping .
A letter written in March 1987, I saw my blush and heartbeat, and the letter was very short. They were married for a whole year at the time, and my mother told my dad: "My menstruation came on the 22nd. , Half a month later than in the past, sorry, I am not pregnant."
My dad’s reply was very gentle: "Xiao Li,After you are transferred to Nanjing, we will have children again. When you are by my side, I can take better care of you. "
According to the two-person plan, at the end of 1987, my mother will be transferred to where my dad is. Worked as a cashier. However, in the winter of 1987, my grandfather died in an accident in a car accident. As the eldest of the family, looking at my aunt, the youngest child in the family, who was only 9 years old, she felt that my grandma was a rural woman and she couldn’t pull it anyway. Six younger siblings. So my mother wrote to my dad and said: "I don't want to go to Nanjing anymore.
In the second year after receiving the letter, my dad transferred from the army and returned to my mother’s workplace from Nanjing, a small county in the northeast. Several scientific research achievements and biopharmaceutical expertise came to my mother.
This story is so exciting, and I, as the daughter of the hero and heroine, is undoubtedly the crystallization of love.
13-year-old I am very proud. My parents are different from others. The parents of my classmates know each other on blind dates. They get married after half a year of love, and get pregnant after half a year of marriage. It is the inertia of worldly norms to have children. . And my parents love freely. Two people have overcome all kinds of obstacles to get together. There are thousands or tens of thousands of possibilities. I shouldn't be born. I am more than the crystallization of love, it is a miracle of love.
So, when I was 18 years old, when I found out that my dad had cheated as early as 1993, the whole person was deceived-how could it be possible? My parents managed to end 6 years of alienation. , After only 5 years of reunion, my dad went to sleep with another woman?
1988,When my dad moved back to the county, there were only two tall buildings in the county, no buses, no pharmaceutical factory, and no military area. As the only college student in the county, my dad stayed in the county government organization department and wrote speeches for the leaders. .
In the next five years, my eldest uncle, second aunt and second uncle took the college entrance examination for the first time. Third uncle stayed in the town to attend high school, and younger uncle came to the county to attend junior high school and lived in my home, watching my birth. After graduating from elementary school, my aunt went to junior high school in the county. My grandmother sold the old house in the country, rented the land to her fellow villagers, moved to the county, and lived in my house.
Normally, there are 6 permanent residents in my family. They are my parents, me, grandma, uncle and aunt. In winter and summer vacations, uncles, second aunts, and second uncles who are studying at university, technical school and technical school After the third uncle came back, there were 10 people crowded into the 53-square-meter house shared by my dad.
Before I was 10 years old, I had no experience of being alone with my parents. There will always be a bunch of people in the family, and it will always be noisy. My dad never thinks that the house is too noisy, so I go to hide with other women. Quiet?
Of course, there is a more terrifying possibility-my dad regrets it. He cheated in order to avenge my mother. For this woman, he gave up his career as a scientist.
My dad was the first batch of college students after the resumption of the college entrance examination. His first choice for the college entrance examination in 1977 was . Jilin University Department of Chemistry (the first department in the country at the time), the results were mixed Wrong, I was admitted to , a certain military medical university of the People’s Liberation Army in advance. After the physical examination, I didn’t even let me go back to my house. When the safety letter arrived at my grandma, my dad had been raising monkeys in the laboratory for a month.The biopharmaceutical major he studied at is far away from chemistry.
This is the first time, destiny made a joke with my dad.
He probably didn't expect that the second joke, giving up scientific research and becoming a pen-joker, was caused by destiny.
At 18 years old, I can’t figure out who my dad’s cheating was when I was 4 years old. Because after 3 years old, I went to kindergarten, and my dad took over the delivery. The kindergarten ends at 3 pm, and my dad takes me to the unit every day, and then takes me home after work. It is hard for me to imagine how long he used to cheat.
I also don’t know how long my dad’s extramarital affairs lasted. I don’t know if my mother insisted on transferring me to another school when I was 10 years old, and insisted that our family of three moved to a house shared by her unit, whether it had anything to do with this extramarital affair.
I always thought that moving into a two-bedroom and one-living new home is the peak of our family life. I have my own bedroom. My parents and I finally have a private space dedicated to us. .
In my impression, parents have always had a good relationship, and quarrels have always been because of money: how much money did the second aunt go to college, how much did the third uncle spend to find a job, should the second uncle How much does it cost to marry the girl who has not been working at home for 3 years to help this future sister-in-law find a job? When my uncles and aunts got married, the content of the quarrel gradually became. Whom should grandma go to care for. The most common beginning of a quarrel is when my dad said: "The chicken and fish for the festival, why do you want to get your brother's house?"
When I was in junior high school,My mother bought a house for my grandma, and divided something, so she didn't let my dad see it at all, and sent it directly to grandma's house. That year, my mother was promoted to the president of the county branch, while my dad was just a deputy section chief of a marginal section of the county government, a small unit-level cadre.
After nearly 10 years, my mother has been the breadwinner of the family. But my dad became more and more gloomy, from spending little money to picking things up, to everything that was not pleasing to the eye. If I didn't do well in an exam and turned on the lights the next night to study, I would be scolded by him for power consumption.
So, in addition to money, there was another item in their quarrel, my education. At the end of a quarrel, my mother often yelled at him: "Remember how far the boat is, and my daughter doesn’t need you to control!" "Come refer to me.
My dad probably couldn't figure out how he, the first batch of glorious college students after resuming the college entrance examination, turned out to be inferior to my mother. The college entrance examination took three times before he was admitted to a junior college.
Before the age of 18, the only revelation I got from their love is: Never let a man pay for you.
After accidentally discovering that my dad was cheating, this revelation was further sublimated: no matter what self-sacrifice you have done, you must control your own stinky mouth, bad temper and damn desire.
My only regret is that I will never know if my dad hadn’t sacrificed himself in those years, and if he stayed in Nanjing to engage in scientific research, would he become a hearty man?A respectable scholar, a optimistic and generous teacher.
Two months after the college entrance examination, I went to the South to attend university, not Nanjing. After graduation, my dad never asked me to go to Nanjing to find a job.
After I graduated from graduate school, my parents moved again, and the old bed was no longer needed. I didn't know if the diary was left in the same place or was hidden by my mother in a new place. I haven't asked my mother to verify, and I don't know how to speak. Seeing her like that, I've long forgotten, maybe there was anger in the middle, but she really never thought about divorce. I don't know if it was for me, or for her younger siblings, or just for my dad's decision back then.
Back then, my mother stayed to take care of 6 younger siblings. My dad also helped her complete this mission. The younger siblings grew up one by one, studied and became families.
When I got married, my mother secretly complained: "You don't want to go to Nanjing to buy a house." Seeing I didn't say anything, she said again: "If I divorce your dad now, How pitiful your dad is, there is no classmates, no relatives, no hometown, and he can't go back to Nanjing."
It sounds like she is not afraid of divorcing my dad, and she seems to be dealing with living with him. , Just to pity my dad.
What I saw with my eyes is that the two people both retired. Every morning, even if I buy two cucumbers, my dad will follow my mom to the food market. Every night, the two of them lie on the sofa and watch TV series.
maybe,When my mom completed the mission of being the eldest sister, and when my dad retired from the social evaluation system, the two of them could finally return to their teenage years, and love again as they never did before.
.
