Having a pair of upright, kind, affectionate and righteous parents is the greatest blessing of a child.
They grew up under the influence of such precepts and deeds, and they will never go astray when they are lost and weak: because there is always someone around who firmly guides them forward.
"The upper beam is not right and the lower beam is crooked." Parents have incorrect three views and have many bad habits and problems. Naturally, they will make their children think that these things are very common and the most common things in life.
In this way, when the conditions are right, you can't help but follow suit. In this regard, the following lady expressed her personal experience.
01
My surname is Su, and I am in my early 30s this year.
What I want to say is that before I got married, I always thought that marriage was a matter of two people or two families, but only after experience did I discover that whether marriage can succeed and whether a woman can be happy depends on oneself. What kind of man did you find and how did your husband behave after marriage?
When we first fell in love, he was very attentive, very considerate, and knew how to care and take care of others.
At that time, not only me, but my friends and my parents thought he was a good man worth marrying. It should be a very happy thing to live with him.
But after getting married, I discovered that people will change. In other words, I don't really understand the nature and essence of this man, because I didn't have a correct concept of what kind of person his parents were, their personality, education and family style before marriage.
came to understand the fact that one of the elders had a very casual and unrigorous attitude towards marriage and emotions after becoming a family and ordinary getting along with each other.
This behavior of the other party directly caused the emotional disharmony between their husbands and wives, and the marriage existed in name only, and it existed in a weird situation.
And the relationship between my parents has caused my husband to be deeply affected. He has an attitude that is not too respectful and cherish for feelings and marriage.This is the crux of the problem.
02
I only learned that my mother-in-law had cheated three years ago. At that time, when the two of us took our children back to the mother-in-law's house and walked to the door, we heard the sound of wrestling and bowling.
Knowing that this was a quarrel between in-laws and in-laws. At that time, I took my husband and signaled him not to knock on the door. I wanted to wait for the old couple to calm down and see the situation.
As a result, the more the two people quarreled, the louder the noise. From their quarrel, I learned that it was the mother-in-law who cheated and was smashed by the father-in-law again...
At that time, I really felt that this kind of thing was too embarrassing and it was not good to be a junior Appeared under this situation. So he signaled her husband not to enter the door, so a family of three returned to their home along the same path.
After I went back, I actually didn't take the initiative to mention this, because I also knew that my identity was not suitable for talking about the relationship between in-laws.
is my husband who took the initiative to talk to me about this topic. I remember what he said at the time: "Only they know what happened to my parents.
What kind of hidden secrets are there, and is there any misunderstanding? What, I don’t know for a while.
The ugliness of the family cannot be publicized, so you don’t care about it, and don’t tell a third person besides us. Anyway, I believe my mother, she raised me up with hard work, I absolutely don't allow others to arrange and talk about her indiscriminately!"
These words were so loud, I also shut up and silently ignored the matter.
03
At that time, I thought that even if the mother-in-law had misbehavior and had a loss of personal virtue, it was her own business. What destroyed the relationship between their husband and wife was not related to me.
But now I understand that the parents’ moral character may also be “inherited” to their children, because there will be a more natural perception in the children’s mind: that everything the parents do falls within the scope of society’s permission. It is human nature.
No one has taught them what is wrong with this kind of thing,He also didn't have a correct concept of right and wrong in his mind. This is the most terrifying place. In the first two years of our marriage, the relationship and relationship are okay.
Later, as the days passed, he began to change. Gradually, there are very obvious changes in relationship and marriage: I won't feel sorry for you anymore, and I won't do anything when I go home.
thinks that all the family affairs are women's affairs. If you can earn some money back, you are the boss.
Later, I found that he also imitated his mother and found a young mistress during his marriage cheating.
Even if I am the original partner, no matter how capable, hard, child-bearing, working, filial, etc., this kind of man, he only needs a change of heart to obliterate all of you...
Then, I have no idea Be patient for half a life like my father-in-law, and he mistakenly thought I would be like that, right? When I directly mentioned divorce and took the child to part ways with him, I realized that I was afraid and begged me not to abandon him.
But I was heartbroken, unwilling to accept a changed emotion and an impure man, and insisted on leaving as the end.
Concluding remarks:
Parents who are not righteous and cannot set examples for their children are incompetent parents. The laziness you stole and the worst demonstration you have done will directly affect your children in the future, allowing you to appreciate what it's like to double repay.
As elders, they may not have the right to imprison children's thoughts, but they are their role models, mentors and life leaders.
You have irrigated wrong ideas into your children's hearts. Under the premise that they do not have the ability to think independently, they will naturally think that these things are harmless and are a kind of human emotion within the allowable range of ethics, morals, and sophistication. And absorb it or accept it in full.
When the conditions are ripe, they will unconsciously follow in the footsteps of their parents, make mistakes in some principled things, and think that they are just not worth mentioning.
Suhomlinski once said: "For a family, parents are the roots and children are flowers.If the roots are broken, the flowers will definitely wither. "
Children will unconsciously carry the mark of the original family and the shadow of their parents.
This is why men and women must look at the character, family style and personality of each other’s parents when looking for objects and discussing marriage. .Although it is easy to ignore, it is really important!
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