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"Love and marriage are not a ticket to heaven, but sometimes it will lead our lives to a dead end."
This is what the Japanese psychologist Teizo Kato said One sentence.
Indeed, although emotional matters are beautiful, they are not blindly beautiful. Sometimes, it will make you miserable, and even life is worse than death.
For example, when you choose the wrong person.
There are many kinds of people who are wrong:
Some have disharmony in personality, different perspectives, and they are always not on the same channel when they associate, and they are very awkward to get along with each other. It is certainly a mistake to meet such a person, but once we break up, the pain is over. Such mistakes are limited and controllable.
There is another kind of wrong person that is not so simple, they are extremely dangerous, once infected, it is difficult to get rid of, and may even destroy you.
Today we will share a few types of people who must be careful in their relationships.
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1. Paranoid people
Paranoid people are jealous, insecure, and suspicious.
If they see you have a relationship with the opposite sex, even if it is a normal relationship, they will be very upset. Always stubbornly believe that there is an indescribable relationship between you.
At the beginning, you will also reflect on yourself, whether you really did not do well enough, causing the other party to misunderstand. But after two people have been together for a long time, you will find that no matter how well you do, how cautious you are with friends and colleagues of the opposite sex, you still cannot escape the fate of being suspected.
This is the characteristic of paranoid people.
They doubted their partner not because their partner did something sorry for themselves. They doubted their partner at the beginning, with all kinds of unrealistic assumptions in their minds, and then they kept looking for clues and evidence to verify My guess is correct.
It’s hard for you to use facts,Use reason to convince a paranoid person.
because they don't know how to listen.
In fact, all the facts that are not satisfied with their guess will be ignored by them, or considered to be false. They stubbornly live in the world of self-imagining, walking to the dark one by one.
Once you like a paranoid person, you will be jealous and questioned for a lifetime, and you will not enjoy the respect and trust that your lover deserves. In serious cases, you may suffer both mental and physical injuries due to sudden anger.
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2. Borderline people
The most typical manifestation of borderline people is emotional volatility.
If there is one thing you do to the other person's heart, the TA will treat you very well, treating you as the closest and most trusted person in the world, and willing to do anything for you.
But once there is a sentence, an expression, or something that makes him unhappy, he will immediately become angry, and even become hysterical, attacking you with all words and actions, as if you have become the world's most People who are intolerant of water and fire.
In addition to emotional instability, another typical characteristic of borderline people is extreme.
When they are extremely emotional, they overeating, drinking, and in extreme cases, they may self-harm or even commit suicide and other reckless things.
Whether in film or television dramas or in news reports, we often see people who quarrel with their families and lovers, jump off buildings on the spur of the moment, or run to the traffic-intensive roads to find short stories.
So, being with a fringe-type person is like driving a small boat drifting on the vast ocean. You don't know when the wind is sunny, when the storm is strong, and when the boat will capsize and be buried under the sea.
If you are a person who pursues stability in relationships, it is best to stay away from marginalized people, they are not suitable for you.
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3. Controlling people
Controlling people’s most typical characteristics are,I will be nice to you, but only if everything listens to me.
When you first associate with a controlling person, you will feel particularly comfortable.
They are usually mature and charming. No matter what your needs are, they can satisfy you, let you experience the satisfaction of being unconditionally cared for, and then produce a kind of being the happiest person in the world. This feeling.
But after a long time, you will find another problem:
You can’t have your own ideas.
Regardless of whether it is life, work, or interpersonal relationships, you must follow the TA's ideas and will, and follow the TA's "careful" arrangements. Once you are "disobedient" about something, come according to your own ideas, the TA will be furious.
We often say that the best love is to let people be themselves in this relationship. However, the controlling person does not allow you to have your own ideas. You can only do things and live according to the TA's ideas. TA will often belittle you intentionally or unintentionally, believing that your ideas are too naive and immature, so you have to follow TA's ideas.
When you feel that the other person treats yourself so well in some things, and now it is inappropriate to make the TA unhappy, the other person has achieved the purpose of controlling you. This is a more concealed control.
This kind of relationship for a long time, you are no longer the relationship of two equal and independent lovers, but the relationship of attachment and attachment, control and control. Staying in this relationship for a long time, you will feel more and more depressed, even suffocated. Because your ego is eliminated, you no longer live for yourself, but only for the other side.
If you are a person with a weaker self and a strong dependence, it may be okay to live with a controlling person.
But if you are a very independent person who wants to live your own life according to your own will, then it is best to stay away from controlling people, no matter how good they are, it is not your food.
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The above three relationships are extremely dangerous. You must be careful and then be careful, and be careful and then be careful.
Of course, even if the people around you have similar characteristics, don't be too nervous. The key is to look at the degree.
Some people are also prone to cranky thinking in their relationships, and occasionally check your mobile phone; some people are also emotionally unstable. When you are happy, you can’t help me, and when you’re upset, you will be blacked out; some people are also from time to time The performance is very strong, regardless of your ideas.
These "symptoms" are present in almost all people, but as long as they are not serious, and are not too extreme to the extent that they do not know how to reflect at all, they can be "saved".
Therefore, you can't kill with a stick. The important thing is your own feelings. If you think this person is generally OK, that's OK.
text | Wu Da
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