Returning to my family’s home, my mother asked her daughter to empty the shopping cart of a family of 6. Daughter: I will save on travelling expenses in the future.

Affected by the epidemic, the time for issuing train tickets has been shortened from one month in advance to half a month. Although there is still a month and a half before the Mid-Autumn Festival and the National Day, my parents have also begun to urge me to grab tickets, and I have to go home by all means.

"If you can't get married, you will forget your parents, otherwise, we will support you for nothing."

Uncle Yiben once said: "No matter how far you marry, girls please stay for yourself. A return ticket."

For only-children and women loved by their parents, no matter how far they marry, their natal family is their backing. If something happens, it is often better to seek help from your mother’s family than to single yourself. Fighting alone is much stronger.

However, for some women, the natal family is not a backing, not a safe haven, but a hindrance. It will only bring crisis to their marriage, because in the eyes of the maiden who does not love them Here, they are not daughters, not sisters, but ATMs.

psychologist Adler said: "Fortunate people are healed by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are healing their childhood all their lives."

ran into patriarchal parents, Suya’s childhood needs It takes a lifetime to heal.

01. During the Dragon Boat Festival, at the urging of my mother, I had to go back to my mother's house;

Like me, Su Ya also received her mother urged her to grab the ticket to go home a few days ago. Phone. Unlike me, Su Ya directly asked: "Let’s talk,How much do you want this time? Don't talk about anything else, I don't believe it.

As soon as Su Ya's mother heard her voice on the phone, she unceremoniously hung up the phone, muted her mobile phone upside down on the table, and told us about her experience of Dragon Boat Festival.

"What do you miss me? She thinks about me or money, she knows it, and I know it better.

On the eve of the Dragon Boat Festival, Su Ya had agreed with her husband. She stayed here and took her daughter to the amusement park during the holiday as a reward for her daughter’s first exam. However, Su Ya’s mother three I made ten phone calls in the same day, crying and making noises, so Su Ya felt soft, and tried her best to grab a train ticket home.

"Actually, my relationship with my parents is not good. Because they are patriarchal. In their eyes, no matter how filial and caring I am, sleeping in the hospital to take care of my sick mother is inferior to my brother. Yes, they would rather pay a fine than have a second child. Isn't it because they hated their daughter?

However, as a daughter, Su Ya still hopes to be cared for by her parents and longs for family affection.

02. She urged me to go back p0, except for money or money; During the festival, Su Ya did not hesitate to pay the price of disappointing her daughter, and she returned to her family’s home. In the end, she was disappointed to the extreme. One night, it was revealed. "

back to my mother's house,Su Ya’s mother asked her daughter to empty the shopping cart of a family of six: “As a daughter, you should honor us. As a sister and aunt, you should also show it. Not much, just five things.”

Five things, it sounds like not many, but Su Ya looked at the shopping cart that her mother asked her to empty, and she was so angry that she couldn't speak for a long time.

"No wonder she always complained to me that the refrigerator at home was not cooling. It turned out to be here waiting for me! First, it was a refrigerator around 2000, and then, my mom watched it. I got a massager, about 300. Regarding the last three items, my dad wants to buy a mobile phone of about 4,000, and my sister-in-law chose a laptop computer of about 6,000 based on work needs. Nephew’s tablet. Good guy, these five things are not many. Add up to at least 15 thousand! It's equivalent to my two-month salary."

Su Ya did not reply immediately, but I told her husband about this, and after reading her husband’s reply, Su Ya told her family of 6: "Except for Mom’s massager, I won’t pay for anything else. If you still do this next time, don’t call it I'm back to my family's house, which happens to save my travel expenses in the future."

Su Ya's decision naturally caused dissatisfaction with her family. Mom and dad accused Su Ya of disrespect, and the younger brother and sister-in-law also complained about Su Ya. Su Ya couldn't stay in her natal house, so she chose to leave that day.

03. My husband’s dissatisfaction and mother-in-law’s warning made me firm in my belief not to be the demon of helping my brother;

"Do you know what my husband has responded to?"

Su Ya's husband asked her to choose one of the two. Either he refused the request of her father-in-law and bought a massage machine for her mother-in-law at most, which was considered a dedication, or simply stayed at her natal home and waited for him to send the divorce agreement.

Treating Su Ya’s family’s endless requests for money, Su Ya’s mother-in-law warned her a long time ago: "My son married you. He is only obligated to be good to you and not obligated to support your whole family. If you are smart, Don’t be a helper and live with my son. If I find out that you don’t get my son’s consent to subsidize your family, don’t blame me for being a wicked mother-in-law.”

After Suya got married, mother-in-law It's pretty good to her, taking care of her in confinement, helping her to take care of her daughter during summer vacation, husband and wife quarreling, mother-in-law often neglects her son and helps her daughter-in-law. As for Su Ya's husband, he is also a more reliable man and a qualified father.

In the end, Su Ya made up her mind not to become a demon to help her brother, let alone ruin her daughter's happy family.

04. Don't treat you as your family's natal family, but keep a certain distance!

It is a misfortune for a woman to have a native family that only uses her daughter as a cash machine. Although we have been calling for equality between men and women, the patriarchal ideology is still repeated. Although many women have proved that it is feasible to adopt a daughter to protect against the elderly, in the eyes of many parents, their daughters are still the water to be thrown out.

For these people, the patriarchal thought has penetrated into their bones long ago. They are regarded as the truth, and they will not feel wrong to their children, let alone repent.

Keigo Higashino In " When Born ", there is a passage saying: "Anyone wants to be born in a good house,But you can't choose your parents, what kind of cards are dealt to you, you can only play it as well as possible. "

The native family determines your starting point, but it cannot determine your life. It is to become the cash machine of the native family and sacrifice everything to pave the way for them, or dominate your own destiny and take control of yourself Your happiness depends entirely on your choice. If you are willing to grow up, you can survive in the desperate place. If you choose to fall, the gods are also hard to save.

psychologist Wu Zhihong "Talk to Your Heart" mentioned that escape is very important, "Make good use of this freedom. If your family makes you feel suffocated, you can go back less or not. This will force some old people in the family to bow their heads to their children.

Don’t treat you as your family’s natal family, but keep a certain distance! The filial piety that should be done, the others, do what you can. If you don’t pay for their honesty, Why waste money and energy in vain?

END.

Today’s topic: Do you think your daughter has paid a lot and you can share it with your parents in the comments section? Viewpoint.

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