A good marriage is a kind of happiness, and a bad marriage is a kind of pain. Some people are clearly suffering in marriage, but they are still reluctant to let go, unwilling to leave, and have been forcing themselves to be with the person who made them suffer. Together.
Maybe it's because of fear of the unknown future, maybe it's because of various interests, maybe it's because I want to give my child a complete home. In short, it's obviously very painful, but I'm still living my life, and I can't see the future. On the other hand, I don't have the courage to cut off all the pain and start a new life.
In fact, no matter how many concerns you have, if a marriage makes you not feel any happiness and sweetness, but endless pain and torture, then it is better to live apart and start a new life. This is good for yourself, your partner, and your children. , are the best choices.
01 A marriage without love, reluctantly together, will only torture each other I have been arrogant, noisy and noisy, and I have communicated many times, but I have not succeeded once, so I am already physically and mentally exhausted, and I am unwilling to spend energy and time on those problems that cannot be solved.
If two people have lived together for many years, but still cannot reach an agreement, there will still be various problems and contradictions, then the hearts of two people will be difficult to integrate, and they have already fallen apart, just because of various objective environmental conditions and various Despite these concerns, they still reluctantly live together. Although they are separated from each other, they have not left home.
A good marriage is a kind of happiness, and a bad marriage is a kind of pain. Some people are clearly suffering in marriage, but they are still reluctant to let go, unwilling to leave, and have been forcing themselves to be with the person who made them suffer. Together.
Maybe it's because of fear of the unknown future, maybe it's because of various interests, maybe it's because I want to give my child a complete home. In short, it's obviously very painful, but I'm still living my life, and I can't see the future. On the other hand, I don't have the courage to cut off all the pain and start a new life.
In fact, no matter how many concerns you have, if a marriage makes you not feel any happiness and sweetness, but endless pain and torture, then it is better to live apart and start a new life. This is good for yourself, your partner, and your children. , are the best choices.
01 A marriage without love, reluctantly together, will only torture each other I have been arrogant, noisy and noisy, and I have communicated many times, but I have not succeeded once, so I am already physically and mentally exhausted, and I am unwilling to spend energy and time on those problems that cannot be solved.
If two people have lived together for many years, but still cannot reach an agreement, there will still be various problems and contradictions, then the hearts of two people will be difficult to integrate, and they have already fallen apart, just because of various objective environmental conditions and various Despite these concerns, they still reluctantly live together. Although they are separated from each other, they have not left home.
In the movie "Wu Wen Xi Dong", the marriage of Xu Bochang and Liu Shufen was a tragedy. The reason why their marriage could last for a period of time was only because Liu Shufen sponsored Xu Bochang to go to college. He only had affection for her, not love. , even during the marriage,Xu Bochang did not let Liu Shufen feel love, but was extremely indifferent to her, and even the food and use must be clearly separated from her. Liu Shufen quarreled with him, and he did not want to pay attention to her. Liu Shufen, who has suffered from cold violence for a long time , suffered torment in this marriage, at the same time, Xu Bochang, who had no love for Liu Shufen, was also tormented. One had no love, and the other tried to seize love. This kind of marriage was a blessing to both of them. pain.
It is obviously very painful, obviously they are torturing each other, but they are still unwilling to let go. Liu Shufen made the mistake of insisting on tying up a person who does not love her. Xu Bo often made the mistake of deceiving himself and his wife because he had no love. He was already married. Being so indifferent to his wife, such a mutually tortured marriage will naturally not have a good ending.
Although it is a movie, it reflects the truth of many people's marriages. There are too many people, who obviously have no love, but are still forced to be together because of various factors, torturing each other, not only exhausting their feelings. In addition, he also developed hatred for the other party, and even made some impulsive behaviors.
There is a line in the Japanese drama "The Most Perfect Divorce": "The worst outcome of a marriage is not to divorce, but to become a masked couple. There is no love for each other, no expectations, but living together, this is the greatest misfortune. .”
If there is no love, no feelings, and being together is torturing each other, then it is better to separate and start a new life, why hurt each other? After all, marriage is not the whole of life. Don't make your life so bad because of a bad marriage.
02 If love has disappeared, don't try to chase it, forcibly keep it A moment of resentment and pain,So love will disappear. Whether you love someone else or someone else loves you, it may change because of one or many things. The author of
, Wan Yang, once said: The cruelest thing about marriage is that there are no storms, but love just disappears out of thin air.
Perhaps the person you once thought could walk for a lifetime suddenly parted ways with you at a certain fork in the road. Even if you did not separate and were barely on the same path, your hearts and directions are no longer on the same line.
If love has disappeared, if your paths are different, don’t try to chase after them. If the other party doesn’t love you anymore, don’t force it to keep it. Forcibly keeping someone who doesn’t love you will only make you more miserable. .
writer Wu Danru once said: "It's a beautiful thing to love only one person in your life, but you don't have to force it, you don't have to be stubborn. When you fall in love, you can be obsessed, but you can't be too obsessed."
has disappeared Love, don't have any hope anymore, and of course don't tie yourself to someone who doesn't love because of various other external things. Maybe you still have some reluctance, maybe you still have some fear, but if If you want to get rid of pain and suffering, you must have the courage to leave and be decisive.
Love needs dignity. If a relationship makes you live very humble and dignified, and makes you need to sacrifice yourself in order to grasp it, then even if you grasp it, such a relationship will consume you endlessly. You live more miserably.
Therefore, people must know how to stop losses in time. When you are always tormented, you must be sober and give up decisively to constantly consume your emotions.
is like the saying: when you care about me, I will care about you more. When you snub me, I slowly let you go. When you cherish me, I will doubly treat you. when you abandoned me,I let everything go to zero.
Those who are not sloppy about their relationship, have the courage to get rid of torture and start a new life are those who know how to cherish themselves.
03 Couples who have no love and are reluctant to be together are also torture for their children.
Many couples have no love or feelings, but they are still together. Most of the reasons are because of their children. They want to give their children a complete home. It affects the mental health of children, but the reality is that children growing up in a family environment without love will even affect their mental health.
Husbands and wives have no feelings and often quarrel. Children can feel it. Even if they pretend to be very affectionate in front of children, they will appear very embarrassed. Children can actually feel the delicate atmosphere. Children are all sentient and intelligent. They are not as fragile as we adults think, and they are not ignorant of everything.
In the program "Happiness Trio", Wu Jing's wife Xie Nan once said: The best education for children is that parents love each other, love is emotional flow, children can feel it, and he will get a sense of security in this love .
Parents who love each other and a loving family can make their children feel loved and give them a sense of security. On the contrary, it is difficult for children to feel loved by parents who have no feelings, and they even have to be careful to obtain their parents' love.
Many people think that they can easily get divorced when their children grow up. Every year after the college entrance examination, there will always be a wave of divorces, because the children have grown up and their studies have come to an end. At this time, divorce, right Minimal impact on children and academics.
But many children are very clear in their hearts, whether their parents have feelings, whether they are affectionate or not, they are all clear at a glance. And the child is growing,Their minds will become more and more mature, and they will understand many things and truths.
I read a story before. The protagonist of the story persuaded his parents to divorce after graduating from high school. His parents always quarreled, his father rarely managed the house, he always went out early and came home late. The mother always complains to the protagonist, always saying that if it weren't for her divorce from her father long ago, in fact, the protagonist always lives in pain. Finally, she couldn't bear it anymore, so she took the initiative to persuade her parents to divorce.
"Intimacy" said: When there are many conflicts in the family and the parents do not divorce, the child's happiness will be worse than the divorce.
Maybe adults think that it is good for children not to get divorced for the sake of their children. In fact, it is not. Children who grow up in families without love will resent their original family, but lack love even more. I hope my parents can let go of each other and shake hands and make peace.
In fact, parents who can let go boldly and do not torture each other for the sake of their children, not only let go of themselves, but also let go of their children. The time and energy of the other party's quarrel are freed up to give more love to the child.
Of course, the most important thing is for parents to understand that even if they are divorced, they should not reduce their love for their children. No matter what happens in the future, they must do their best to love their children, and let their children understand that parents just cannot live in Together, but the love for yourself will not be less, will not change.
04 A marriage that is unsustainable even if you try your best is better to separate
. It is not a last resort. No one wants to divorce, but many things are unpredictable and uncontrollable.If you've tried your best to keep your marriage together, but it's still untenable, the best option is to separate.
No matter what the reason is for you to continue to maintain it, if you spend a lot of energy and time on your business, but you are still living in pain and torture, you might as well choose to let it go.
Ma Yili has been living a good life since her divorce. We all know from her marriage experience that even if she is betrayed, she chooses to forgive. Maybe she once hoped to make her marriage better through her own efforts and wants to continue to maintain it. My own marriage has come this far.
Maybe many people are like her. No matter how many problems they have encountered, they want to work hard to manage their marriages, but in the end it backfires. If they try their best and it is unsustainable, they can only separate.
Some people are obviously being tortured, but they are still reluctant to let go, perhaps because they are afraid of the unknown future, especially women, for them, it takes courage to end a marriage, not only to face all kinds of criticism, but also to Starting a new life by themselves, and even raising their own children, without certain economic conditions and confidence, many women would rather torture themselves in a painful marriage.
But no one can guarantee that the marriage will not change, especially when the person you are looking forward to so much keeps disappointing and despairing, and even has no feelings for you and wants to abandon you. And know.
If your marriage has reached the point where it cannot continue, don't be persistent, it may make you afraid in the future, but after all, you have to take that step, otherwise you will always live in pain, and your life will have no hope.
Someone said: "In the face of marriage changes, there are two kinds of women, one is self-pity,One is to strengthen yourself. "
In fact, when you really have the courage to get rid of a painful marriage and start a new life, when you have survived the most difficult period with strength, you will find that life is not as bad as you imagined, and your life will be smoother and smoother. , you will live easier, you will have more opportunities to harvest happiness, and you will also thank yourself who had the courage to turn around and leave.
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text/Jane Eyre's window map/ Pix
About the author: A native girl from the south, writes heartfelt articles with simple words, and talks about emotions and growth with you.
02 If love has disappeared, don't try to chase it, forcibly keep it After a moment of resentment and pain, love will disappear. Whether you love someone else or someone else loves you, it may change because of one or many things. The author of
, Wan Yang, once said: The cruelest thing about marriage is that there are no storms, but love just disappears out of thin air.
Perhaps the person you once thought could walk for a lifetime suddenly parted ways with you at a certain fork in the road. Even if you did not separate and were barely on the same path, your hearts and directions are no longer on the same line.
If love has disappeared, if your paths are different, don’t try to chase after them. If the other party doesn’t love you anymore, don’t force it to keep it. Forcibly keeping someone who doesn’t love you will only make you more miserable. .
writer Wu Danru once said: "It's a beautiful thing to love only one person in your life, but you don't have to force it, you don't have to be stubborn. When you fall in love, you can be obsessed, but you can't be too obsessed."
has disappeared Love, don't have any hope anymore, and of course don't tie yourself to someone who doesn't love because of various other external things. Maybe you still have some reluctance, maybe you still have some fear, but if If you want to get rid of pain and suffering, you must have the courage to leave and be decisive.
Love needs dignity. If a relationship makes you live very humble and dignified, and makes you need to sacrifice yourself in order to grasp it, then even if you grasp it, such a relationship will consume you endlessly. You live more miserably.
Therefore, people must know how to stop losses in time. When you are always tormented, you must be sober and give up decisively to constantly consume your emotions.
is like the saying: when you care about me, I will care about you more. When you snub me, I slowly let you go. When you cherish me, I will doubly treat you. When you abandoned me, I made everything go to zero.
Those who are not sloppy about their relationship, have the courage to get rid of torture and start a new life are those who know how to cherish themselves.
03 Couples who have no love and are reluctant to be together are also torture for their children.
Many couples have no love or feelings, but they are still together. Most of the reasons are because of their children. They want to give their children a complete home. It affects the mental health of children, but the reality is that children growing up in a family environment without love will even affect their mental health.
Husbands and wives have no feelings and often quarrel. Children can feel it. Even if they pretend to be very affectionate in front of children, they will appear very embarrassed. Children can actually feel the delicate atmosphere. Children are all sentient and intelligent. They are not as fragile as we adults think, and they are not ignorant of everything.
In the program "Happiness Trio", Wu Jing's wife Xie Nan once said: The best education for children is that parents love each other, love is emotional flow, children can feel it, and he will get a sense of security in this love .
Parents who love each other and a loving family can make their children feel loved and give them a sense of security. On the contrary, it is difficult for children to feel loved by parents who have no feelings, and they even have to be careful to obtain their parents' love.
Many people think that they can easily get divorced when their children grow up. Every year after the college entrance examination, there will always be a wave of divorces, because the children have grown up and their studies have come to an end. At this time, divorce, right Minimal impact on children and academics.
But many children are very clear in their hearts, whether their parents have feelings, whether they are affectionate or not, they are all clear at a glance. Moreover, children are also growing up, and their minds will become more and more mature, and they will understand many things and truths.
I read a story before. The protagonist of the story persuaded his parents to divorce after graduating from high school. His parents always quarreled, his father rarely managed the house, he always went out early and came home late. The mother always complains to the protagonist, always saying that if it weren't for her divorce from her father long ago, in fact, the protagonist always lives in pain. Finally, she couldn't bear it anymore, so she took the initiative to persuade her parents to divorce.
"Intimacy" said: When there are many conflicts in the family and the parents do not divorce, the child's happiness will be worse than the divorce.
Maybe adults think that it is good for children not to get divorced for the sake of their children. In fact, it is not. Children who grow up in families without love will resent their original family, but lack love even more. I hope my parents can let go of each other and shake hands and make peace.
In fact, parents who can let go boldly and do not torture each other for the sake of their children, not only let go of themselves, but also let go of their children. The time and energy of the other party's quarrel are freed up to give more love to the child.
Of course, the most important thing is for parents to understand that even if they are divorced, they should not reduce their love for their children. No matter what happens in the future, they must do their best to love their children, and let their children understand that parents just cannot live in Together, but the love for yourself will not be less, will not change.
04 For a marriage that is unsustainable even if you try your best, it is better to separate
. No one wants to divorce, but many things are unpredictable and uncontrollable. If you have tried your best to maintain your marriage, but always Still unsustainable, then the best option is to separate.
No matter what the reason is for you to continue to maintain it, if you spend a lot of energy and time on your business, but you are still living in pain and torture, you might as well choose to let it go.
Ma Yili has been living a good life since her divorce. We all know from her marriage experience that even if she is betrayed, she chooses to forgive. Maybe she once hoped to make her marriage better through her own efforts and wants to continue to maintain it. My own marriage has come this far.
Maybe many people are like her. No matter how many problems they have encountered, they want to work hard to manage their marriages, but in the end it backfires. If they try their best and it is unsustainable, they can only separate.
Some people are obviously being tortured, but they are still reluctant to let go, perhaps because they are afraid of the unknown future, especially women, for them, it takes courage to end a marriage, not only to face all kinds of criticism, but also to Starting a new life by themselves, and even raising their own children, without certain economic conditions and confidence, many women would rather torture themselves in a painful marriage.
But no one can guarantee that the marriage will not change, especially when the person you are looking forward to so much keeps disappointing and despairing, and even has no feelings for you and wants to abandon you. And know.
If your marriage has reached the point where it cannot continue, don't be persistent, it may make you afraid in the future, but after all, you have to take that step, otherwise you will always live in pain, and your life will have no hope.
Some people say: "In the face of marriage changes, there are two kinds of women, one is self-pity, the other is self-improvement."
In fact, when you really have the courage to get rid of the painful marriage and start a new life, when you are strong enough to endure After the hardest period, you will find that life is not as bad as you thought, your life will be smoother and smoother, you will live easier, and you will have more opportunities to harvest happiness. The one who had the courage to turn around and leave.
----END----
Text/Jane Eyre's Window Picture/Pixabay
About the author: Born and raised in the south, she writes heartfelt articles with simple words, and talks about emotions and growth with you.
