text /Meiya
In the "Happy Trio" in 2018, when I see Ai Fukuhara and Hongjie Jiang, I will fast forward or pass by.
My intuitive feeling at the time was: Ai Fukuhara and Hongjie Jiang were performing better. Fukuhara Ai is performed for Jiang Hongjie, and Jiang Hongjie is performed for the audience.
Wang Xiaofei and Das are also performing, but they are performing badly. The two parties fought for the initiative in marriage in front of the camera, and they worked together to create more controversial shots.
Chen Jianbin and Jiang Qinqin are the most natural. The marriage has passed the state of indifferent. Isn't variety shows just a trip at public expense? The camera is there, wishing to be a witness of a quarrel, it can be used to manage the other party.
So the pair of Wang Xiaofei and Das is a good-looking drama. You can see the undercurrents between them, fighting wits and courage; Chen Jianbin and Jiang Qingqing are good-looking in life, probably everyone in the world is tired of seeing each other and familiar with each other. Of couples will have a sense of substitution.
Fukuhara Ai and Jiang Hongjie have no observability at all. Every day they hug each other, crying, laughing and laughing, just like getting the script of an idol drama, or a kind of water drama without plot and conflict.
The news of Ai Fukuhara's marriage change made me have to carefully pick up this variety show two years ago, only to find that the sweetness of the two of them is full of thunder.
First of all, the two people were married for two years when they went to the show. The show has always emphasized that they are in long-distance relationships and get together little and more. This is the first time they are so tired of being together alone, so it seems excusable to be so tired?
But let us not forget one thing, they have already given birth.
People who have been married in person know that having a child is a door for the couple. Once they step in, the couple will worship brothers. The authenticity of the flesh animal, the trivialities of feeding, and the antagonism brought about by heavy housework will make people quickly return to the self and see the other person’s self.
In front of Jiang Hongjie, Ai Fukuhara still has to appear in full makeup, and she dare not say a single word. This shows that the children are one year old and they still have not become partners in life.In other words, Jiang Hongjie did not participate in too much parenting work. Otherwise, he would have seen the sloppy and bloated mothers of the novice mother thousands of times.
This kind of life state must be contrary to the natural development law of marriage.
The second problem is that Ai Fukuhara is inferior to Jiang Hongjie.
sounds funny. The strong women and the weak men are known all over Asia, but they can’t hold back Fukuhara’s inner inferiority complex. Most of this low self-esteem is in appearance. Jiang Hongjie is a killer, and we can still reach a consensus. He is so good-looking that he was molested by the little S who came to visit.
Jiang Hongjie sat at the door waiting for Ai Fukuhara to put on makeup. She drew and mumbled: Do you think you have been cheated? The effect is that you see how old and ugly my face is.
Jiang Hongjie can only say along: What I like is your personality.
When they went out to eat together, Ai Fukuhara said that they saw a very beautiful girl just now. Jiang Hongjie said that I don't think you are beautiful. Ai Fukuhara defined this sentence as "greasy".
She doesn't believe that Jiang Hongjie really thinks she is beautiful, and her "good personality" can give her peace of mind, but at the same time it brings unequal trembling. Jiang Hongjie's tall and handsome has given her enough emotional value and has become a burden for her inferiority complex.
This brings about the third problem, Fukuhara Ai's bottomless.
Of course, there are also cultural differences and childhood experiences. "Mothers" are highly respected in Japanese culture, and being a good wife and mother has become a woman's job.
And Fukuhara Ai has played table tennis since she was a child. In a documentary when she was a child, she turned her head and ran to her mother crying when she made a mistake in a documentary when she was a child. When her mother told her to give up, she cried again and wanted to continue practicing. Her original attachment model should be anxious-avoidant, relying heavily on intimacy.
So, when the idol Wang Nan asked Ai Fukuhara as a girl, what was your dream? Ai Fukuhara's dream is not to win the championship, but to get married and have children, cook for her husband, and ask her every day when her husband goes home, do you want to eat first or take a bath?
Jiang Hongjie seems to have fulfilled her dream,She is with her, has a common topic, looks handsome, and has a good personality in the early days of love.
So you can see in the show how much Ai Fukuhara maintains Jiang Hongjie, turning up and down every day to cook for Jiang Hongjie. Wang Nan played with Jiang Hongjie and helped him pull the ball, while Fukuhara Ai ran to be a caddy. Jiang Hongjie went to the competition, and she accompanied him throughout the whole process and gave him all-round help.
It's not that she doesn't know the gap between Jiang Hongjie and her, and she maintains her husband's self-esteem everywhere. Jiang Hongjie cooks for her. No matter what she does, Ai Fukuhara always holds her face in her hands and says with stars in her eyes, you like it.
Jiang Hongjie flew the kite, but the kite couldn't fly. Ai Fukuhara ran behind and kept shouting: Husband, you are the best! Come on, husband!
I don't know but thought that Jiang Hongjie was going to win the Olympics.
The most maddening is that Ai Fukuhara, ranked 9th in the world table tennis, and Hongjie Jiang, ranked 79, played table tennis on the program. Ai Fukuhara lost! The water of love is as deep as the sea.
The last interview details are very interesting. Ai Fukuhara said that I would use what I learned here to run our Jiang family. Listen, "Jiang Family," Ai Fukuhara puts her posture very low, placing it in the positioning of accessories.
It can be said that Ai Fukuhara is the TOP template of the good wife and mother in East Asia. She gave up her career and left home for her husband; a person who didn't know how to buy train tickets in the past would have to do housework and parenting personally; be kind and enthusiastic outside, giving her husband dignity.
Friends, this is the problem.
The most common trend in the marriage of strong women and weak men is that when a man cannot withstand the gap in ability and external pressure, he will turn this sense of shame into suppression and discipline of his wife to complete a husband Self-esteem.
In the shell world of a small family, everyone said that Jiang Hongjie married Ai Fukuhara and was fortunate for Sansheng. Big S said, you married the queen of Japan, can the Japanese team hate you! Wang Nan said, you are not treating her well and kicked out.
Jiang Hongjie can only nod, laugh, and promise.
When the three families gather for dinner,Jiang Hongjie and those two husbands obviously have a problem. He has never been a controller, not even a participant, accepting their assignments if they are not so painful or itchy.
is related to age, more about the grading of strength, status, and class. The world of men is more Darwinian. Think about it, if Fukuhara Ai is not present, Jiang Hongjie can also occupy the top of a topic with his professionalism, but if Fukuhara Ai is present, this attention cannot be his.
On the day Jiang Hongjie went to play, Ai Fukuhara was not only a life assistant, but also his personal coach. But after Fukuhara Ai said a few words, Jiang Hongjie became obviously impatient, and he could only round the scene by lying on the bed.
In real life, Jiang Hongjie may have experienced this kind of scene thousands of times. But when Fukuhara's wife has been impeccable, so low that it can no longer suppress and discipline, the normal bottom line is broken, and insults and violence appear.
The main reason for their divorce was Jiang Hongjie's cold violence against him. The last straw that crushed the camel was that Fukuhara loved to go to the dentistry, but was insulted by Jiang Hongjie, his mouth opened so seductively, you bitch.
When a husband can insult his wife in this way, the purgatory of this road can be imagined without news reports.
I believe they had true feelings, but everything went out of control when one side stepped back and the other side pressed on.
There are a lot of discussions on the Internet, and there are a lot of thoughts about the marriage of strong women and weak men, but in fact, not all strong women and weak men end up like this.
In the eyes of a weak man, he is wearing the emperor's new clothes, and this shame is brought by his wife, and his ability cannot be relieved. He can only maintain his inner balance by provoking troubles.
But men with strong hearts are different.
I was watching Patty Hou's variety show recently, and I think she is very happy. She and her husband Huang Bojun were once regarded as models of strong women and weak men. How can an ordinary financial man compare with the Asian king?
It seems that Patty Hou also walked down the altar from an immaculate goddess through this variety show, and turned into a noisy, control-driven ordinary housewife.
But I found a lot of happy details,For example, Patty Hou would secretly talk ill of her husband with his mother, and coquettishly call him dull and incomprehensible.
Observe that when a woman is extremely confident in her marriage, she will rant about her husband in front of her parents and friends.
actually wants the other party to give her a confirmation that "your husband is very good", and those women who have no heart will continue to exaggerate their husband's goodness in order to conceal their guilty conscience.
Although Huang Bojun looks expressionless and can't make a fart with three sticks, he is not really stupid. After quarreling with Patty Hou, he will call his mother-in-law for help. The opening remarks are: My mother passed away very early. I treat you as my mother and want to talk to you.
This detail is both moving and full of wisdom. He knows the closeness between Patty Hou and his mother, and he has chosen an efficient way of communication, and can give his mother-in-law an excellent feeling of "importance" and "trust." Patty Hou will also give him extra points afterwards, because his mother is the person she cares about the most. Huang Bojun regards his mother as his mother, is there any more reassuring loyalty than this?
The most important thing is that this move proves that Huang Bojun knows how to show weakness. He did not feel that he needs to have a male posture in front of two extremely powerful women. Only those with a strong heart will show weakness.
The secular definition of strong women and weak men has not changed his perception of himself.
When Patty Hou made all the unreasonable requests, such as asking him to do exercises together and cook for the mother and daughter, Huang Bojun looked embarrassed, but he went obediently. These "tricks" did not affect his mood in the show, because he happily bought back the food that the mother and daughter loved.
I don't think he thinks this is arrogant, he will define it as the fun between husband and wife. If you are an inferior son-in-law, you will probably feel that you are too late in front of the camera.
And why does Patty Hou dare to be so "people are crazy"? Because she is convinced of the emotional stability brought about by Huang Bojun's inner strength.
Hou Patty said that one of the things Huang Bojun touched her most was that after giving birth, she went to the bathroom and held a bottle. Huang Bojun held her with one hand and lifted her pants with the other.
Huang Bojun's answer to this is an understatement: Isn't it right?
is probably a woman giving birth,The most embarrassing and difficult moments of life, the grace and righteousness of the husband and wife's life are about here. Accepting the ugliest and most animal side of the other party, and giving them support, took the step of love and got in touch with the family. From then on, I dared to measure the rest of my life.
Patty Hou is bathed in love. This love is not a one-way infinite doting of a weak man. This love is two-way. Huang Bojun played the game Bidong Hou Patty, and Hou Patty's eyes were full of anger.
Behind her complaints, there is a deep attachment to a little woman. This worldly defined weak man has something she can admire and rely on.
In fact, life is not as simple as the secular. The two dimensions of fame and fortune are divided into strengths and weaknesses. Life is concrete to miscellaneous and dirty. At this moment, the cross-section of life is almost round, and every cross-section has strengths and weaknesses. Advance and retreat, support, and change.
is like Patty Hou who has just given birth to a child. She is the weak. At this time, she needs the help of the strong.
A girl like Patty Hou cannot marry casually. She has found the strength she needs.
Of course everyone is happy to marry the king, but let's think about it. If Patty Hou marries Jay Chou, he would probably have to cover his face like Fukuhara Ai and prevent her husband from entering the delivery room to see her ugliness.
Therefore, it is not a strong woman and a weak male that is destined to be tragedy. The key is whether the man who is defined as weak also treats himself in the same way.
The planting industry has a term called "intercropping", which means that two plants are planted together to promote the growth of each other. For example, garlic and cotton, allicin volatilized from garlic can kill bacteria and drive away pests.
From a distance, we can only see a cotton field, but garlic is valuable, and they depend on each other.
When you find a garlic, you have to determine a few points: 1. Whether he has affirmation of self-worth. 2. Is he emotionally stable? 3. Whether he can provide the emotional value you need.
Finally, you have to be clear that the value of your cotton is to produce white and soft cotton, not to take care of the feeling of garlic, cut yourself in the middle, and expose it to the sun.
Unfortunately, garlic likes yin.
After getting married, Ai Fukuhara forgets that she is a dazzling athlete and thinks that it is her duty to be a good wife, so that she can be affirmed and loved by her husband, and ruined the marriage field step by step.
After all, when Jiang Hongjie was still small and transparent, the athlete Fukuhara Ai in his eyes was still "terrible". It's not that he doesn't know the value of his wife, it's that he doesn't know awe, it's that he doesn't know that he is taking advantage. It's just that human nature is cheap.
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