Parents talk "nonsense" with their children
It is the confidence for children to grow up, and it is also a blessing for parents in the future
Parents are willing to talk "nonsense" with their children
Children will have more confidence to grow up, and the parent-child relationship will be more harmonious
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Recently, I was chatting with my cousin, and when it came to the children, my cousin
She told me that although she had taken the initiative to quit her job
and spend more time with her child every day
, the relationship between the child and her had not become harmonious
Often her cousin would chase the child and ask questions, but the child would be absent-minded and perfunctory
Either the answers were wrong or her attention was on other things
So my cousin was very angry and criticized the child and said
"Mom, ask you a question." , why do you talk so much nonsense?"
After hearing what my cousin said, I quickly advised her
"It's a good thing that your child is willing to talk nonsense with you. Don't criticize your child like this."
In life, many parents always like to say "important things" when communicating with their children.
"How are you studying today?"
"Can you understand the teacher in class? Do you have any homework? "It's better not to check"
But in fact, truly effective communication is often hidden in the "nonsense" spoken by children and parents
1
Parents only say "useful" words to their children
This is the biggest failure in communication
In the movie " Thousand Arrows Pierce the Heart ", the protagonist Li Baoli is a very failed mother.
Li Baoli loved her son very much since childhood. In order to let her child study and become talented, Li Baoli would get up early every day and work hard every day.
No matter how hard or tired she was, she never complained.
But when her son was admitted to college, the first thing he did was to cut off the relationship with Li Baoli.
Because he believed that it was his mother who forced his father to death and that it was his mother who destroyed his originally happy home.
The son who was raised by himself has such a bad relationship with Li Baoli.
A big reason is that when the son was growing up,
Li Baoli never talked nonsense with her son.
Every time she spoke, she would only ask for useful things.
As a result, the son could not feel the mother's care and love for him.
The parent-child relationship became more and more cold and distant.
And in In reality, there are really countless parents like Li Baoli.
They always choose useful words to say to their children, but they are never willing to communicate emotionally with their children. They are unwilling to calm down and have a good talk with their children. Therefore, they really have nothing to say except whether they have eaten, whether they have slept, and whether they have studied.
A netizen on Zhihu once shared that when he was in school, he once said He took the initiative to share school affairs with his mother.
, but every time his mother would interrupt him mercilessly.
and change the topic to his learning problems.
So this netizen was no longer willing to communicate with his mother.
2
Parents are willing to accompany their children to talk nonsense
The parent-child relationship is better
I have read Mr. Yang Jiang's "We Three》
I believe many people will envy their happy family atmosphere
The reason why Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu can get along so closely and harmoniously with their daughters
is that they treat their daughters like friends
Their communication is casual, easy, even very trivial.
Therefore, the atmosphere of this family can be so warm.
The relationship between the daughter and them can be so harmonious.
Psychologist He Lingfeng once said
"Talking nonsense with children is the most important ability for parents."
Indeed, for children,
only if their parents are willing to talk nonsense with them can they feel
that being with their parents is relaxing from the depths of their hearts.Happy
In this way, children can truly open their hearts to their parents
Trust their parents, be close to their parents, and be willing to tell their parents their troubles and innermost thoughts
In this way, parents can truly understand their children, and then discover problems
and guide and educate their children correctly
As a parent, you must remember
Real love is often hidden in a lot of nonsense
The same is true for parents' love for their children. Only when it is hidden in nonsense can children feel it better
so that the parent-child relationship can become more harmonious
3
Parents are willing to talk nonsense with their children
Children’s brains are smarter
I don’t know if you have noticed that without
those children who are eloquent and quick-thinking
are very smart in life
Behind them, there is always a parent who is willing to talk nonsense with them.
On the contrary, those children who are dull in speech, slow in thinking, and always slow to respond to things
often have little communication with their parents
, or the communication is very serious and depressing
So, parents are willing to talk nonsense with their children
Children tend to be smarter
The reason is very simple, it is because during the communication process
children's brains will be constantly stimulated
thereby exercising and improving their thinking ability, logical thinking, expression ability and memory
At the same time, it can also improve children's cognition and expand their knowledge.
Therefore, as parents, never ignore the effect of talking nonsense to your children.
Regarding this point, Feynman, the famous Nobel Prize winner in physics, once shared that
When he was a child, his father would read "Encyclopedia Britannica" with him every time
would often talk nonsense
As a result, Feynman's thinking was expanded and his interest in science was cultivated
As a parent, if you want to train your children to become smart and outstanding talents
, you must remember to chat with your children more and talk nonsense with them more.
4
Parents are willing to accompany their children to talk nonsense
Only then can children’s desire to share be protected
Many parents will be surprised
Why do children become less fond of talking as they get older? Especially when communicating with parents
it is easy to become "dumb"
In fact, the reason is very simple. It is because parents personally destroyed their children's desire to share when they were young. ml0 "Dad, look at the castle I drew, how about our family of three living in it?"
You waved your hand impatiently
"Go, let's play, dad has no time to talk nonsense with you"
So slowly the child became more and more silent, even if you took the initiative to ask the child, you were too lazy to talk anymore
So if parents want their children to be willing to talk in the future
When they were young, they should accompany their children to talk nonsense
Protect their children's desire to share
For example, before going to bed every night, take the initiative to chat with your children about what happened during the day
For example, parents can also put aside their airs and tell their children their little secrets
Or parents should not be so utilitarian when chatting with their children
Learn to start from the child's perspective and communicate in a way that interests them
In short, the process of raising children is actually a process of constantly talking nonsense to the children
This is like When writing an article, although you must be reasonable at the same time
, you must also say "nonsense"
In this way, the article can be vivid and colorful
The communication between parents and children is also
Every sentence does not need to be useful words, but more nonsense should be said to let the children feel the care and love of their parents.
Build mutual trust and dependence
Only in this way can the hearts of children and parents be closer, and the parent-child relationship can be more harmonious
