A every move of parents has a profound impact on their children. Parents’ tutoring methods determine the future direction of their children.
An excellent child may not have excellent parents. However, parents who know how to praise and criticize their children will definitely educate excellent children.
, such as "Meng's mother moved three times", "Mother-in-law's tattooing", "Drawing reeds to teach children", "Tao Mother's rings to children", "Brother of the Machine to teach children", etc., are all typical examples of outstanding parents educating excellent children.
Therefore, if parents want their children to achieve something in the future, they need to understand the correct educational methods and know how to praise and criticize their children.
In this regard, " People's Daily " put forward several suggestions, which are worthy of reference by parents.
Use these three methods to praise your children, and the effect will be better. No matter how busy parents are, they should read
※Refine the praise content and praise it more specifically
Praise the children, which will give children a sense of value, presence, honor, and accomplishment, let children gain motivation to grow, and let children establish correct ideas.
However, The positive impact of general praise on children is not very large. Only by refining the praise content and allowing children to deeply understand which behaviors they are worthy of praise can children gain more experience and grow better.
For example, if the child has sorted out his own books by himself, if he only says "you are awesome", although the child will feel positive factors, there are not many, and sometimes he will even feel that his parents are "perfunctory" and "do not pay attention to themselves".
So, we can discover the details of children's book sorting, say "all sorted and sorted according to type and order, you are so careful" and so on, and praise content about children's details of book cleaning, which will make children feel the importance of parents, care about themselves, and know and deepen the concept of "classification and placement" is the correct behavior.
※Don’t be perfunctory, be sincere
The praise of children should not be used in the same way for a long time. For example, some parents always praise their children in the same tone, the same "lines" and the same way. Over time, they will make their children feel a perfunctory feeling.
Parents should pay attention to showing their sincerity . This sincerity can be changes in tone, expression, and praise methods , etc., and show your emotional fluctuations so that children can see that parents are really proud of their children.
For example, when children clean up their beds, parents can show surprise expressions when praising their children. In this way, children can not only feel the positive factors from the praise content, but also be happy that they can make their parents get surprises, greatly increasing the effect of praise.
※Preferring to praise children’s positive attitude
Children’s positive attitude towards certain things is the focus of praise for parents. Because "attitude determines everything", a child's attitude determines his confidence, persistence and expected efforts in treating something. Generally speaking, as long as he has a positive attitude, his child's growth will be very efficient.
For example, when children encounter difficulties when they are studying, they cannot overcome them for a long time but do not give up. Parents need to affirm their children's positive learning attitude , so that children can understand that this attitude is correct and gain stronger growth driving force from parents' praise.
You need to master the method when praising children, and the same is true when criticizing children. The correct way of criticism can not only achieve expectations, but also achieve twice the result with half the effort. Similarly, The People's Daily also pointed out some scientific methods to punish children, and parents are advised to take a look.
The People's Daily pointed out that paying attention to these three issues when criticizing children will be effective, and the effect will be twice as effective with half the effort
✔ Listen to children's opinions on the wrong
Before criticizing children, parents should pay attention to what their children say first. Because adults and children have different thinking angles, if adults blindly look at problems from their own perspective, they may "lose synchronization" with their children's thinking, thus losing educational effect.
Therefore, before parents are preparing to criticize their children, they should listen to their children's views on this matter, and understand their children's true intentions, details of the event, and other issues.
For example, a child plays football in the yard, but the glass in someone else's house is broken. At this time, parents should not scold their children directly, but should listen to their children's explanations.
Because children may not realize that such a thing will happen if they play football in the yard, parents need to educate their children based on the real reason for this incident. They tell their children what accidents may occur when playing football , and tell their children what occasions are prone to these accidents , so as to deepen the impression of children, correct their mistakes, and achieve our true educational purposes.
✔ Not right to the person, not turning back old accounts
Education must be right to the person, otherwise the child will think that "parents don't love me". Moreover, parents educate their children to avoid "turning up old accounts", because this means that "wrongs cannot be made up, corrections are useless, and growth is redundant", which will bring great negative effects to children. Therefore, parents must do , not the right thing, and not bring up old accounts.
For example, when children's bed is very messy, parents should criticize the matter of "the bed is very messy and not cleaned up", instead of involving "whether the homework is done", "I am late today", etc., and we cannot involve any errors that have occurred before.
✔ Be harmonious in attitude and do not vent your emotions
The purpose of parents criticizing their children is to let their children correct their mistakes, accumulate experience, and gain growth. Therefore, when parents educate their children, should "go for the purpose" instead of venting their emotions .
Therefore, when educating children, parents should maintain a harmonious attitude, point out the educational priorities concisely, and communicate peacefully with their children.
For example, when a child washes dishes, the oil on his hands is slippery and the bowl is not grasped properly, causing it to fall and break. At this time, parents cannot just start to scold, but should communicate with their children peacefully about the cause of the incident. find out the wrong nature of the child , such as the child being careless, etc., so as to carry out targeted education, such as washing hands and then holding the bowl.
Conclusion
We must know that "naughty children are all used to it." As the saying goes, "If you don't raise them, your parents will be guilty; if you don't raise them, your parents will suffer; if you don't teach them, your parents will suffer." Educating children is a "lifelong event" for parents. You must not only have love, but also have a sense of responsibility, but also have a scientific educational method.
(The pictures in this article are from the Internet. If there is any infringement, please contact us to delete it)
