8-year-old boy He Yike lives a life of "clothing and reaching out and opening his mouth". He is accompanied by his father at night when he sleeps. When he wakes up in the morning, he asks his father to feed the baby bottle. He is carried to the restaurant and sits in the restaurant. Mom takes chopsticks to start feeding and brushing his teeth. Finally, his father drives to school.
In He Yike's own words, "Mom and Dad love me very much. I don't need to do anything at home. It's all my parents who helped me do it."
However, is this "nanny-style parenting" really good for the children?
In school, He Yike was ridiculed by his classmates for "I'm so old and I'm still sleeping with my father." He competed with his peers with chopsticks to pick up peanuts, wear button-up shirts, and tie shoelaces. He Yike lost completely, his expression became timid, and there was no confidence on his face.
Children cannot live forever under the protection of their parents. Parents give their children a "nanny-style education" and take care of their lives in detail. This is not love, but far-reaching harm.
"Nanny-style education" will make children lose confidence
I remember seeing a video like this before, a 9-year-old boy wanted to climb up the stairs to get badminton. As a result, he was about to take action, his mother stopped him loudly behind his back: "Don't climb the stairs, don't climb the stairs!"
After hearing this, the boy was frightened by his mother and quickly stepped back step by step, and his mother took the badminton off.
Just imagine, if the mother is unwilling to let the child complete the simple movements of climbing stairs independently, then how can the child make a living in society independently when he grows up?
As the boy grows up slowly, when he encounters difficulties, he will only show fear and lack the confidence to try and challenge, and in the end he will only achieve nothing.
Montessori said in "The Secret of Childhood": "I hear it, I forget it; I see it, I remember it; I have done it, I understand it."
If parents take care of everything about their children and do not allow their children to have personal experiences and experiences, it will be difficult for children to build confidence in successes time and time again, and they are more likely to suffer blows when they grow up, and they lack the ability to do things independently and solve problems.
The more parents manage, the less they appreciate the children
Some parents feel that they have the right to plan their future for their children, let alone becoming their children's "nanny" is also for the sake of their children's goodness, so that they can avoid detours, endure less hardships, and suffer less.
But in fact, children need a certain amount of freedom to grow up. The more parents manage, the more restrained and depressed the child will feel, the more "unappreciated" they become, and the more rebellious they become.
friend Xiao He is a teacher and has high expectations for his son. In order to facilitate management, he specially put the child in his own school.
When I was in elementary school, Xiao He tutored his son every day to do his homework. After school, he never allowed his son to go out to play with his classmates. Even if he got the second place in the class, he would lock his son on the balcony to reflect on him.
Although the child's grades have always been good, the problem occurred when he was in junior high school.
The originally "behaved and sensible" child has become rebellious day by day. He begins to be distracted when completing his homework, is unwilling to study, his grades plummet, and his parent-child relationship is becoming more and more tense.
Finally, after Xiao He was furious about his child again, the child chose to run away from home. It was not until the third day that he was found at his classmate’s home more than ten kilometers away.
Seeing that the child is so rebellious, Xiao He couldn't help complaining: "It's clear that I'm doing for my son's good, but why doesn't he appreciate it? Children nowadays are so ignorant!"
In fact, it was Xiao He who deprived the child of his freedom in the name of love. Excessive expectations cannot tolerate the child's mistakes, which made the mother and son "turn aside" and eventually led to this loss-lose ending.
How to avoid becoming a "nanny-style" parent?
1. Try to let go
Nowadays, many children have poor hands-on ability and weak independence. The reason is that it has a lot to do with their parents' "nanny-style education" method.
In the process of educating children, we might as well "be ruthless" and let the children complete the things within their ability. Don't interfere too much, help the children improve their abilities and gradually become independent.
2. Encouraging education is mostly used
There is a noun in psychology called " Rosenthal effect ", which means that our eager hope for others will dramatically receive the expected effect, that is, "If you say you can do it, you can do it; if you can't do it, you can't do it."
Therefore, if we want our children to develop better and have independent abilities, we should adopt more encouraging education methods to enhance their self-confidence and make them feel that they are really OK.
On the contrary, if parents often attack their children and take care of their children's lives, then the children will really think that they are bad and difficult to have good development.
3. Change your own cognition
Some parents give their children "nanny-style education" because they feel from the bottom of their hearts that this is good for their children, which can help them avoid detours and have a better future. However, reality has proved that "nanny-style education" is harmful to children without any benefit, and will only hinder their healthy growth.
Parents need to change their own cognition, correct their original educational concepts, and know how to properly give their children freedom and space, which is a truly beneficial way of education.
Wicked Mother Conclusion:
"Nanny-style education" is not advisable. For children, this is more like a kind of deformed love, and it is easy to feel suffocated.
As a parent, you must know how to love your children correctly, let them grow up in a comfortable and free environment, and become a better person.
Today’s topic: What do you think of this kind of “nanny-style education”?
I am @�ma. I have a cute baby at home. I focus on research on knowledge during pregnancy and parenting. For more information, please follow me.
