A friend asked me, do adults need to interfere with the friendship between children? If you interfere too much, will the child be very disgusted?
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It turned out that the two days ago was the birthday of a friend and his child. The friend bought a cake for the child. The child was very excited and happily told his friend that she wanted to share with her friends, and then listed the list of children who needed to share.
When I was about to give Xiao A a cake, the child firmly disagreed with sharing a piece of cake with Xiao A's sister Xiao B. My friend and my husband asked why he didn't share a piece of cake with Xiao B. The child just said that he just didn't want to give it away. The couple thoughtfully advised the child to either give two cakes to Xiao A and Xiao B, or not. The child asked why? And said that I just want to give it to my good friend, Xiao B is not my friend, and sometimes she doesn’t play with me.
The couple showed the truth to the child, but the child could not persuade the adults, so they finally agreed to give Xiao B a piece of cake, but the child obviously had a very unhappy face.
Actually, I don’t have a say in this issue, because my own daughter is not that skilled in dealing with friendship.
In my consciousness and thinking, the requirements for the child are not so strict. As long as she goes out happily, goes home happily, and is willing to share today's trivial matters with me, I will be satisfied.
For friends and children, if it were me, I would follow the child’s ideas, but I would tell the child that when I deliver the cake, I must thank Xiao A for sharing the cake on his birthday last time.
In fact, children have different understandings of friends at different ages. What adults should do is to respect children's right to choose friends, and second, to give children the necessary guidance. Before the age of 6, the so-called friend of a child is a playmate who can play with him; before the age of 10, the child still has a choice, and is more willing to choose a playmate who responds to it as good friends, and other playmates as ordinary friends; at the age of 12, he is more considering mutual benefit, and which child can help, and at the same time, he is a good friend.
Therefore, friends’ worries are not unreasonable. But adults should guide, not interfere.
