Yuanyuan and her husband are both only children in the family. After Yuanyuan gave birth to a son, the elderly on both sides were very active and wanted to help take care of the children, which made the couple feel embarrassed.
Yuanyuan naturally hopes that her own parents, that is, the children's grandparents, come to take care of the children, after all, she is closer to them.
But Yuanyuan's parents-in-law is also very active in this matter. Her mother-in-law took good care of Yuanyuan as early as her pregnancy and contributed money and effort.
It can be said that both elderly people have time and they really hope to help them take care of their children. Therefore, Yuanyuan and her husband are in a very difficult situation. They do not want to disappoint the elderly people on either side.
Nowadays, in many dual-working families, the elderly have become the "main force" of taking care of and walking their children. The elderly are pushing strollers and walking their children everywhere in the community.
Taking care of a baby is not a labor-saving "errand". The elderly are not only responsible for their children's food, drink, defecation, and sleep, but also responsible for their babies' knocking, touching, and falling.
Therefore, raising a baby can be said to be a difficult and thankless task , but why is this task with huge responsibility, and the elderly on both sides are rushing to take over? Why do the elderly have a leisurely retirement life but have to take care of their children?
In fact, this is not because the elderly do not want to be comfortable, but is closely related to the " intergenerational " between the elderly and children.
Grandpa, grandparents, grandparents and their grandchildren, grandchildren, grandchildren, and granddaughters have a natural bond of family affection that cannot be cut off. So, I wonder if you have thought about it. Who is the closest to the child?
Regarding this question, some people may think that grandparents are the ones who deserve the closest to their children. Because according to the traditional concept of inheriting the family line, most children have the surname of their father, and it is natural that they are closer to their grandparents. But scientists may not agree with this sort.
As early as 1980, researchers from Toronto, Canada investigated families who lost their children and found that after the child passed away, the saddest ones among the elderly on both sides were grandma, followed by grandma, then grandpa, and finally grandpa. Based on this, Canadian researchers believe that in the natural intimacy with children, the intimacy of should be sorted as grandma>grandma>grandma>grandma>grandma.
This sort was also verified by American researchers in 2009 . In a survey of 200 college students, Bissau and others from Luther College in the United States found that college students love grandmas and interact with grandmas the most frequently. The second is grandma and grandpa, who were once again ranked at the end.
Many people may find it difficult to accept such rankings, and even think that this has subverted their original cognition. After all, in traditional concepts, grandparents should be closer to their children than grandparents. So, is this sorting scientific? Is there a compelling reason?
Why is grandma closest to her children? The scientific sorting is well-founded. Don’t believe that
Grandma and mother are closer to
Generally speaking, mothers’ efforts in parenting are much greater than their fathers. Therefore, when grandma suggested that she wanted to take care of her children, her other consideration was to reduce the burden on her daughter. Therefore, the love that grandma gives to take care of her children is actually double. has both love for her daughter and love for her daughter and children.
And the child is sensitive. When he finds that his grandmother and mother are closer, he will also have a more natural sense of intimacy with his grandmother.
And when grandma takes care of children, there are often conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law .Although grandma is meticulous to the child, the child will also be affected by the relationship between grandma and mother, and the intimacy with grandma is not as high as grandma.
More confident in biological relationships
The reason why children think that grandma is the closest one is actually affected by biological evolution. The child is born by the mother for ten months, so the mother can be sure that the child is 100% born to her.
But it is different for dad. Dad has not experienced the hardship of ten months of pregnancy. In biology, unless you do paternity test , you cannot be 100% sure that the child is his own.
is affected by the uncertainty in biology between father and son. Compared with mothers, fathers and mothers will not be so dedicated to taking care of children.
Similarly, grandma is the same in taking care of her mother and her children. Grandma can be 100% sure that her daughter was born for her. From a biological point of view, her daughter's children are also convinced that she is her offspring, and is influenced by biological evolution. This explains why in scientific order, the relationship between grandma and child will be closer.
Grandma pays more to the child
There is a limerick poem that well describes the "current situation" of many families after having children: " Mother is born, grandma raises, grandpa markets every day. Grandpa comes to appreciate it, dad goes online when he gets home." The reason why children rank grandma first in the favorite ranking list is closely related to grandma's hard work.
In the "army of walking children", grandma can often be seen. Although the older generation often says, "A daughter who is married is like a splashed water." But when a daughter really needs her, mothers will still be willing and give without hesitation.
The reason why children are close to grandma is because grandma has made more efforts in the process of raising children. Love is mutual. Grandma loves her children 100% and will love her grandma even more.
written at the end
There is a reason behind the reason why the child is closest to his grandma. Although there is such a scientific ranking, whether it is grandma, grandpa, or grandpa or grandma, they are sincere to the children connected to their blood.
"A harmonious family will prosper". Whether it is the child taken care of by grandparents or grandparents in a family, young people should be grateful and understand the efforts of the elderly.
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