But one day, I found that the child started to talk back, speak harshly, swear, even slam the door, quarrel, and yell. How should I face and deal with this?

2025/03/2810:29:37 baby 1042

In our impression, the baby is always soft and cute. But suddenly one day, I found that the child started to talk back, speak harshly, swear, even slam the door, quarrel, and yell. How should I face and deal with this?

This article simply shares the development of children's communication skills and how to deal with children's talk back.

01. Regarding children's communication skills

The ability and skills of communicating with people are very important to children. It not only affects the child's abilities, but also concerns the comfort of life. Because of good communication and communication skills, we can help children make friends, express their opinions to others, and seek help from others. If a child wants to establish good interpersonal relationships, he or she cannot do without good communication skills.

The so-called communication skills and skills are essentially the skills that children can effectively talk and listen to. The process of communication between people involves many aspects, such as:

opener, start communication:

Learn to use polite words such as "hello" or ask a simple question to start a conversation with others.

know how to attract others' attention in a decent way, such as learning to say "Sorry to disturb me, I want to ask..."
Keep eye contact when communicating
Conversation process, can do Listen and talk in turn
polite words
know when it should stop talking

These sound very simple, but in the actual application process, even some adults may not be able to do it well. Therefore, for children, every step requires continuous learning and practice, so that they can slowly gain good communication skills and skills.

Image source: Unsplash

02. How to cultivate children's communication skills? 2 main directions

Children's communication ability, simply put, is mainly obtained from two aspects:

One is to practice dialogue and communication through parents constantly accompanying their children, such as parents seize all opportunities for communication to talk, communicate, and communicate with their children.

Another is that children learn to communicate and communicate by observing parents’ dialogues and communication with others. For example, parents’ dialogues with each other, and their own relatives, friends, etc. are all opportunities for children to learn communication skills.

We can see that if we want to cultivate children's good communication skills, we must first become role models for children to learn and communicate well and provide children with opportunities to learn. For example, when we talk to people:

Keep a smile, keep eye contact, and be friendly and polite words, such as "good morning" welcome to my home", etc.
When parents talk to each other, they are gentle and positive. If they have different opinions, they are also solved through effective discussion, rather than comparing who has a loud voice.
When communicating with people, use appropriate body language and different tone to express their concerns and attention.
If someone talks to you, put down your phone, take off your headphones, and focus on the conversation.

Learn to communicate and communicate. Some children learn very quickly, but some children may need more practice, reminders and guidance. For example,

remind children : For example, say "Tell me thank you to grandma, because grandma helps you find the little doll. ”
Continuously practice : For example, practice dialogue with children, take turns talking and listening.
Clearly and gently reminds : For example, say to your child, "Mom is talking to you, remember to look at your mother."
When the child doesn't know how to start the conversation, you can give the child some reminder, such as saying to the child, "Little sister's house is like ours, and she also has a cute dog. You can ask the little sister's dog is like."

guide the child : For example, say to the child, "If you want to talk to me, you can say hello first, I can disturb you and ask..." After obtaining the other party's consent or attention, you can continue to say it.
Encourage children : If the child acts politely and appropriately in dialogue and communication with others, remember to praise and affirm the child in time. For example, you can say to your child, "When you were chatting with your aunt just now, you waited for your aunt to finish talking, and then you started talking about yours. Your mother liked it very much."

Source: freepik photo created by freepik

03. How to deal with children talking back? 5 basic points

The soft and cute child in my impression found that he started talking back, or began to say some "harsh words", a bad tone, and arguing. As a parent, it must be emotionally uncomfortable.

We can deal with the bad situation of children talking back and saying harsh words in some positive ways. The following 5 basic points are general and may be helpful:

try to keep calm and remind children about polite words and respect for others' relevant family rules or rules.

If the child always speaks rudely and talks back, you can try to make the child be punished for speaking rudely and talking back, such as reducing the time to watch cartoons that day.

When children talk back or speak inappropriately, don’t be surprised or funny, or give the child a lot of attention, because if parents do this, the child may feel that the behavior of talking back can make more people pay attention to themselves, and over time, they may fall in love with "showing backwards".

Parents pay attention to their words and deeds appropriately: As I said just now, children can gain communication skills by observing their parents' communication methods. If parents are rude and always face each other when they are talking to others, the child may also learn the behavior of "talking back".

Don’t over-interpret the behavior of children’s talk back: children will not deliberately hurt their parents. Children’s words and deeds need to be constantly learned and regulated.

If the child encounters difficulties, loses his emotions, loses patience, talks back to his parents, or says something that makes his parents sad, please don’t think that the child is deliberately hurting us.

On the contrary, we must admit that children talk back and say ruthlessly is a problem. We need to work hard with children to get better, but don’t over-interpret and extend it just because children talk back. “Determine” children means hating us and not being close to us.