The uniqueness of life lies in being myself, my unique self. There are so many thoughts in my mind, which ones are my own and which ones are others’? Do I live my life or live my life how others want me to live? We should strive to be a parent who understands the rules of our children, a parent who can get into their children's hearts, and a parent who can help their children develop their greatest potential.
Nowadays, children's physiological needs and safety needs have been fully met, so they do not have a strong sense of crisis and material desires. But talking to children about their ideals and ambitions is the top need for self-realization. If they are out of touch, it is like playing the piano to an ox!
Therefore, what children today need to be satisfied most is the needs of "love, belonging" and "respect". The future is too far away, and getting the love and affirmation of parents and the approval of friends, teachers and relatives is the real feeling and more valuable. Allure. The answer to the child's lack of awareness of "learning for himself" is readily apparent: the child's efforts are not seen, they do not receive love, encouragement and recognition, they are unable to meet their psychological needs, and they just get by as time goes by. For the sake of your children, or to further develop your leadership skills, let us start this exciting journey!
1. Let children make decisions freely and help them live their lives.
"Live according to your own ideas!" "Autonomy is the most important thing!" Yes, the person who roared with a loud voice was my deceased father. Mr. Voice (his voice and body are really loud). When conducting a survey on educational methods, the most common answer was "laissez-faire and giving full play to children's autonomy." But the strange thing is that there are surprisingly many parents who say "laissez-faire and giving full play to children's autonomy is the most important" but behave in exactly the opposite way, isn't it?
My father with a loud voice always says "autonomy is the most important", but when we go to a barbecue restaurant, he doesn't even let me decide what to eat or drink, and he never allows his children to question his conclusions. He thinks of himself as Kyoto. The stubborn temper of the first is quite proud. My father never interfered with my growth, but he simply left all the parenting responsibilities to my mother. Although he did not give me specific suggestions for my future, he helped me describe a big dream: "No matter what, you must at least become the president of a certain country!"
wanted to raise independent children, but The actual education methods are very different... We should not let more and more families worry about this. Next, let’s discuss what autonomy is and how to cultivate it. We found that the specific methods to cultivate children's autonomy include the following keywords:
▶Let children make decisions freely
1. Give children freedom and let them explore themselves
2. Let children set their own goals
3. Respect children's opinions on their future. Idea
▶Don’t interfere too much and help the child from the side
4. Respect the child’s autonomy, but also give sufficient suggestions
5. Provide various options and let the children make the final decision
6. Don’t overprotect the children
▶Let the children live their own lives
7. Respect the child’s character
8. Instead of “not causing trouble to others”, it is better to “help others”
9 . Build children's self-confidence from "small places"
2. Let children set their own goals
No child will work towards "unpleasant goals". My parents always let me set specific goals independently, even if they give me pocket money. When talking about money, I will also be asked to explain: "Why do I need this money?" "When do I want to use this money and how much does it cost?" Therefore, it improves the speed of my decision-making and also changes my decision-making. Be more confident.
Goals set by oneself have a big difference in concentration. Don’t use parents’ ideas to pressure children to learn talents. If you want to cultivate people who can think independently, you should first start by letting children set their own goals. No one strives to reach a destination they don’t want to reach. In fact, my children are not excellent at all, nor can they be said to work very hard, but once they face the things they have decided to do, they display unimaginable concentration.From this we can see how important it is to let children set their own goals in order to guide their autonomy, responsibility and concentration.
We also believe that children should set "personal best" goals in the classroom, in the music room, on the playground, and even in their own backyard. It’s not that there’s anything bad about competition itself. Of course your child has to learn how to fight for it when she really wants to win, but it’s often more effective when her competitor is herself.
She may not be able to control how hard others practice or how good they are, but she can completely control how hard she practices to beat her own previous shortest time or highest score. It's very rewarding to see yourself getting better at something. Whether it's in the exam room, on the slopes, or in your backyard where your child wants to learn how to build a wheel, setting goals for him to get him from point A to point B will inspire his intrinsic motivation. and a sense of control.
3. Respect children’s ideas about the future.
Respecting children’s ideas has a great influence on the formation of children’s personality. I think that I am who I am today thanks to my parents’ education policy of respecting their children’s ideas from childhood to high school. Especially since I was a child, my parents provided an environment where I could make my own decisions on everything, allowing me to take responsibility for the decisions I made.
Leave important decisions to your children and cultivate their thinking ability. The educational policy adopted by my parents was to leave important matters such as my future to me to decide on my own. I think the education method of "making your own decisions on your own matters" has made me who I am today. For example, it was up to me to decide which university to go to. The only thing my parents could do was support my decision. In fact, I asked my parents for advice, but they just replied: "Think for yourself, and then choose the option you will not regret."
dares to give the decision-making power to the children and let the children be responsible for themselves. Thank you to my parents for allowing me the freedom to choose my future path. From whether to take tutoring, which high school to enter, whether to choose science or liberal arts, to which university or department to choose, all the major and minor education-related matters were left to me when I was very young. My parents were completely Will not interfere. Even if they know that there are risks, they still decisively leave the future to their children to choose and make them responsible for their own choices. Because of this, children become able to think seriously and take action about their future.
Forcing children to follow their parents' arrangements will plant hidden dangers in the children's lives and bear the "seeds of regret" on their backs. It does take courage to let young children decide their own future direction. What parents can do is to provide their children with judgment materials for choosing their future, and finally respect their children's ideas.
Most of the so-called elite college students' families "let their children decide their own future." In addition, there are also some parents who do not respect their children's choices for the future. Their parents do not respect their children's ideas about the future, causing them to lose their goals and stumble. Some children are forced to accept a future they don't want, wasting their innate talents, and therefore resent their parents deeply.
I am a happy pregnancy, a creator in the field of high-quality parenting, a family education instructor, and a loving and thoughtful parenting and education expert. Welcome to follow , to like and comment on . You can communicate with me for more parenting knowledge and education issues to make parenting easier and education more effective!
