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I met the old man squatting on the ground and wiping the railing with a rag on a hot afternoon. At that moment, my heart trembled unconsciously, and my head Thousands of thoughts were flying through my mind, but it seemed like I had no clue.
Because I had something to do, I didn’t stay too long. I just glanced at the thin old man and drove away.
In June in Chongqing, the weather was 35 degrees. Young people tried not to go out for anything, but she had to squat under the scorching sun and wipe the railings. I couldn't help but feel sad.
I don’t know what happened to her family that made an old man do such hard work, and I don’t know if her children will feel uncomfortable seeing it.
With these doubts, I couldn't help but go to the park the next day. After walking around for a while, I found the old man sitting in the pavilion and resting.
I walked over to say hello to her and chatted with her casually. The old man was very talkative. She told me that the reason why she came out to work as a cleaner was not to burden her son.
Neither she nor her husband have pensions, and all their savings were used to pay for their son's wedding house. When they had no money to spend, they tried to ask their son for it, but every time they had to muster a lot of courage before they could speak.
In order not to be disgusted by their daughter-in-law and not to embarrass their son, they decided to work. She worked as a cleaner in the park, while her husband worked as a security guard in the community.
She smiled and said to me: "It's good to find a job at our age. If we can make a little money, we don't have to ask our son for money."
At that moment, my heart felt as if it was being weighed down by something.
Are they just an exception in society, or have they become the norm?
When people get old, the most sad thing is not having inconvenience in their legs and feet, but having to ask their children for money.
The joy of raising children
Mark Twain once said: "I made a lot of trouble for my mother, but I think she enjoyed it quite a lot."
It is not easy for parents to raise children. There is a saying on the Internet that says it Very good: "Parents are afraid of their children all their lives. They are afraid of deformities when they are pregnant, they are afraid of being unhealthy after birth, they are afraid that they will not learn well when they are older, they are afraid of having a poor future as adults, and they are afraid that they will not be able to get married after they are 25 years old, and they will not be able to get married and have children. From then on, I will worry about the next generation. "
From a child waiting to be fed to an independent adult, the sacrifices made by parents can be said to be countless.
But parents have never complained. They enjoy the worry and always use their children as a sweet burden.
Russell once said: "The value of parental love to children is that it is more reliable and trustworthy than any other emotion."
There is no one in the world who loves their children more than their parents. Their devotion to their children is unrequited, and when necessary, they can sacrifice everything for their children.
No matter how much hardship they endure, no matter how tired they are, no matter how much they worry about, as long as it is for their children, parents will have no regrets.
This is the greatness of parental love.
People often say that a father's love is like a mountain and a mother's love is like a river. Mountains can make people rely on, while rivers can give people comfort.
Children have been enjoying the caress of mountains and rivers since they were born. Over time, they take it for granted.
Parents don't care. They think everything they do is what they should do, and they are always worried about what they haven't done well.
Caution when old and frail
I once read this sentence in a book: "If one day you find that your parents have become cautious in front of you and look at your face in everything, it is because they are old."
How so. A sad and realistic sentence, what an ironic situation.
When we were young, we were just young and careless children. We had neither the ability to take care of ourselves nor the ability to make money. We were completely dependent on our parents.
But at that time, we never felt that we owed our parents, nor did we know how to be grateful. We even always acted coquettishly, lost our temper, and got into trouble in front of our parents.
Our parents have never disliked us, and we have always enjoyed this love with confidence.
Now that our parents are old, it is our turn to take care of them, but they seem to have lost the confidence we had at the beginning and have become more cautious.
To be fair, taking care of the elderly is not as hard as taking care of a newborn child. Even if their legs and feet are inconvenient, most of the elderly are conscious and will not cry and fuss like babies and wake up several times a night.
But even so, parents always put away all their tempers, bury all their sadness, and get along with their children in an infinitely humble state.
When people are old, the most sad thing is that they have children, but they are still afraid of being homeless.
When old people are getting older, they will be humble in front of their children, look at people's faces, and even get along with their children in a flattering way. This is the most fundamental reason. It's because they don't feel safe.
From a psychological point of view, a person will only show his flattering and humble side when he is asking for help and needs to rely on others.
When parents are young, they can rely on themselves. As they get older, their bodies become less and less responsive, and they begin to need to rely on their children. This is the biggest turning point in their lives.
They are no longer as tough as before, but have become extremely weak; they dare not ask their children to do anything confidently, but are always cautious.
Parents feel insecure because they are afraid of being abandoned by their children. They are worried that their children will ignore them, so they dare not make each other unhappy.
Looking back on the naughty and careless nature of my children when they were young, the ending is really ironic.
As a child, the saddest thing is that the child wants to be raised but the family does not wait for you.
There is a passage in " One Hundred Years of Solitude ": "Parents are the curtain between us and death. It seems that there is nothing between you and death. There is nothing." How does it feel to have your parents standing between you? You will not face these things until your parents pass away... Your parents are a curtain between you and death. If they block you for a while, the people closest to you will Affects your view of life and death. "
When our parents are alive, we always feel that death is far away from us; when our parents are gone, we lament the fleeting time and the fragility of life.
But by then everything was too late.
Zhu Ziqing described the simple and innocent love of an old father in "Back View". As he got older and gained weight, his movements were not as good as before, but he still climbed over the fence and went to buy oranges for his son with a faltering step.
In the eyes of others, this may be just the most common thing, but from a father's perspective, he is trying his best to express his love for the last time.
The words his father wrote in the letter, "The time for his death is not far away" made many readers cry. Zhu Ziqing lamented that he didn't know if he would ever see his father again, and readers lamented whether he could repay the kindness of his parents in his lifetime.
We always feel that time is still long, but we ignore the speed of our parents getting older. When our conscience realizes that we finally want to repay our parents, we find that we no longer have this opportunity.
This is the most tragic thing in life, and it is also the greatest punishment from God to its children.
Everyone will be a child, and everyone will become a parent. If you don’t become a parent, you will not know the kindness of your parents. This is the terrible thing about being aware of things later.
As children, we should always be grateful, think more about our elderly parents, and think more about problems from their perspective. Take the initiative to give, rather than waiting for parents to ask for it. Give them more security and don't let them spend the rest of their lives in fear.
Parents are the only parents you have. Parents you will never have again.
I am Yinger, an original author focusing on the emotional field.
