Use the open eye to look at the child's strengths, strengths and potential, and to see the child's shortcomings, shortcomings and problems. If we can close our eyes, those shortcomings, shortcomings and problems will not exist. Some parents are very smart. He once asked, isn't th

Use the open eye to see the child's strengths, strengths and potential. If we can close our eyes about the child's shortcomings, shortcomings and problems, those shortcomings, shortcomings and problems will not exist.

Some parents are very smart. He once asked, isn’t that self-deception?

These parents may not know that learning to deceive may be the highest level of education.

【一】

　A mother went to a parent-teacher conference, but the teacher told the mother that her child was the worst in the class and would be distracted after sitting for no more than three minutes.

After this mother went back, she lied to her child and said: The teacher praised you and said that you can now sit three points, which is a great improvement. The child is very excited. He was slowly able to sit still for five or ten minutes...

This mother used this deception method to trick her child into entering Tsinghua University .

A student only scored 12 points in the Chinese test. The teacher asked him why he did not do well in the test. He said that he was not interested in Chinese and did not listen carefully in class.

　The teacher lied to him and said: "You are not interested and you can get 12 points on the test without listening carefully, which means you are too good. If you spend a little more time, you will definitely get better."

　The next time this child gets 20 points on the test, The teacher exaggeratedly said that he was very smart and had improved so much with just a little effort. Under the teacher's trick, the child kept trying harder and his grades got better and better in the end.

This teacher uses this method to trick every child into thinking he is the smartest.

He created the myth of Chinese education. No matter how bad the class he took over, after one year of education, there was no longer a bad student in his class. Every class score was first in the city, far ahead of the others. School.

【二】

　There is a world-class liar named Rosenthal. He is a world-famous psychologist.

Once he went to a school, randomly selected a dozen children, and insisted that they were geniuses. Eight months later, the principal and teachers of the school really found that these children had made significant progress and gradually turned into geniuses.

This scam later became known as the " Rosenthal effect ", also known as the "expectation effect".

Almost any teacher who studies education knows this scam.

Anyone who can understand some truth from it and master this deception will become an excellent teacher.

It is a pity that many teachers know this scam, but because they have a pair of keen eyes and cannot turn a blind eye, they see the problems of children clearly, and in the end they fail to become the best teachers.

I have been an educator for so many years. Recently, I suddenly understood why I can make children like me more and achieve some small results in education. It turns out that I am also a "liar".

【三】

Two weeks ago, four children ran into my office after dinner, laughing and joking, each one as restless as a monkey.

I told the children that if anyone can sit down first, I will look into his eyes and tell him whether he is smart or not. The children immediately fell silent. I first told them: Teacher Liu has seen countless children all over the country. Just by looking at their eyes, you can tell who is smart and who is not.

When I looked at them one by one, most of the children's eyes showed expectations, but one child was obviously worried. Maybe he thought he was not very smart.

Then I began to express my conclusions: tell them one by one, they are smart children. Then I said: "Teacher Liu thinks it's very strange, how come you four children are all smart children?"

I deliberately re-read it again and emphasized again that I read it correctly, everyone is a smart child. At this time, every child had a happy smile on his face and sat very upright.

【四】

When I carefully think back on my twenty years of education career, there are countless similar situations like this.

Education turns out to be such a simple thing.The best education turns out to be to lie to children and just tell them they are the best.

From this perspective, the best teachers are actually parents. Parents are their children's first teachers when they are young, and each of them is an excellent teacher with superb deception skills.

When a child comes to this world, he does not have any knowledge, skills, or power to control himself. At this time, their hearts were full of fear, and they could only express their inner emotions by crying. At this time, parents become the first liars that their children encounter in their lives. They will constantly tell their children that he is the smartest person in the world and he is the most beautiful person in the world.

Even if the child’s speech is unclear, the parents will say that the child is getting better and better. Even if the child can only take one step forward and falls, the parents will give a thumbs up and say that the child is great.

It is under this kind of deception that children find the motivation to learn, grow, and change, and move towards perfecting themselves. In fact, a good-for-nothing child really slowly becomes outstanding because his parents deceive him into thinking he is excellent.

Parents often tell me about their troubles, saying that their children are childish and not as sensible as other people's children. Normally I would congratulate the parent.

Because, when a child is still relatively naive, he gives his parents the opportunity to lie to him. If a child looks immature and disdains his parents' deception, or even sneers and thinks it is boring, then education will lose one of its most powerful weapons.

【五】

Why is "cheating" so powerful?

The biggest secret in the formation of human behavior is: first determine it, then pretend to be it, and then change it. For example, we hope that our children will love to learn. This can be achieved using the above three steps.

The first step is to use all means to show that children love to learn. For children, he is a good child who loves to learn. Tell others that he is a good boy who loves to learn. Usually treat him as a good child who loves to learn.

Re-pretend: At first, your child may be confused by what you say, but when he often hears others promoting him as an example of a love of learning, he may try to feel a love of learning. Once a child shows any signs of loving learning, he will immediately be recognized by others: he is indeed a child who loves learning. Then this child will act like he loves learning in front of these people. Even if he doesn't really love learning, he still has to pretend to love learning. The more people around him who say he loves learning, the wider the scope of his pretense; the longer the people around him who say he loves learning persist, the longer he pretends.

later became: When this child often pretends to love learning, it slowly forms a habit. He felt that he was just such a person, and that his love of learning was his natural state, so he really became a good kid who loved learning.

As the saying goes, a lie told a thousand times will become the truth. If everyone believes who someone is, then he will definitely become someone.

Psychologists once studied and concluded that if you want others to become the kind of person you want them to be, treat them as the kind of person they are.

[6]

Excellent teachers and parents follow this principle intentionally or unintentionally. They first define their children as excellent, smart, and caring...

Then, the children pretend to be in front of these teachers or parents. This kind of person, in the end they really become this kind of person, and the education of teachers or parents is also successful.

However, it should be noted that when you keep telling your child that he is not good enough, you are actually a liar, and you have just deceived your child into a bad person.

It turns out that deception is a kind of educational wisdom. The success of education depends on how you deceive children.

If you want your child to be excellent, please lie to him and say that he is excellent.

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